My Old Scooter and God

I am not fanatic about my belief in God. Not being a religious person, I don't visit temple, church or any other monasteries but,  when I go out in my decayed scooter, which is  very much in bad condition and I return home safely; all that do have power to make me believe in God and his existence like anything. I leave home with a pray, God take care of me and I go out in my scooter even though I have no trust in my scooter.

Condition of my scooter is so bad that, if the spare parts do have rights to sue me in any court that would have existed on earth, they could have sued me long time back for not keeping them in good conditions. There is only one side view mirror and the one which is there is just so angry with me always looks down as if in protest. It seems at a look that it is so committed, not to report me whatever is happening behind my back. Both hand breaks are so loose that no one can manage it; but me. Both brake shoe are not working, I wonder how come my clutching both break works, when they are supposed to work. If it works its a miracle, then I believe there is this invisible power of God to protect the most careless person living on earth who dares to ride that old and gone scooter. And that careless person happens to be me.

Therefore, it should not surprise anyone, if my scooter is so determined to bring me most embarrassing scooter owners award. Its’ sound is embarrassingly loud and so odd until I find myself in highways. Then, the same odd sounding sound, makes me feel like I am riding a racing bike. It is a reason to crack a conversation with guys on the road and its a reason to bring some uneasy feelings to some of my acquainted, who thinks this is so damn embarrassing looking scooter. I hate to admit it but they are so right. Its only that they don't know, that I know all the stories of each and every scars and bruise my scooter has and I am the reason behind all those bruised part of my old scooter. Its been with me for more than ten years now, that it has become like my good friend. It has given me so much good memories as well as story too.

Its’ oddly loud sound, especially at the red light stop is what makes young guys on fancy bikes make to give me ‘the look’ at my scooter until they see me racing fast when the light turns into bright florescent green. There are times, I see the same guy on my side who were with me at the earlier red light stop. That is the time, they  crack up the conversation with me admitting, its engine is still one of the best despite its look. Best engine, is what making me to keep this scooter a little while longer.

There are people who would not blink eyes to tell me to change my scooter as soon as possible. But, coincidentally the same friend[s], who ride comparatively new bike than mine have met with an ugly accident, some really bad ones; but mine still protects me from those unwanted accidents. For me, its not new or old, good or bad, I have to be safe on the street is my first priority.

Deep in my mind I think, not having licence keeps me grounded and more cautious than carrying a licence. Some believe this is very nonsense reasoning about my safety. Yeah, you can argue that, you have licence but you have never met any accident but I know lots of people who have and have met bitter accident. Finding myself behind those licence holder tells me what its to have confidence to face traffic police and what does arrogance means. I am cautiously fast on the street but without licence in my pocket, I can't be over confidence on the street. I dare not do things that will tangle me with any accident traffic police comes only on second number of priority to protect myself.

Riding a scooter is real freedom for many of us who love to go out anytime and without any control. I can think of going out without - a wallet - but not without my scooter. It took  me four month to learn scooter and when I say,my short leg to be blamed for all this some raised their brow. However, once I am on street I really have not found myself in any trouble in this ten years of my experience on wheel; except my scooter have made many trips to the traffic police office for violating some street law. Oh, all that made me pay highly for the stupid mistakes.

There is this normal believe here that the traffic police are very corrupt lot and they will seek all the opportunities to scuff you money, for not having legal documents to ride not just scooter. Its right but not entirely true. I have bumped with really good traffic police officers, who were ready to help me find the licence; which I have never made. Thier nicety made me feel guilty about white lies. Some of the traffic officers have returned me my blue book without charging  a penny, all he agreed is to have lunch with me.  

There are times  have gone to the traffic police office and retrieved my scooter after telling them the half truth about licence saying that I am not ‘carrying’ it now or lost it. Yet they let me go after the normal charge for parking on no park zone and then they let me go with my scooter without much fuss they did not hyper reacted for appearing in their office to collect my two wheeler without proper document in my hand.

Facing traffic police alone is a lot better experience in reality than facing them with those who carry licence with them, besides it cost me more also if I walk in with them in traffic office. Story of traffic police being corrupt has more benefit to those who walk in with you in traffic police offices to help you out from the situation, than they actually being that corrupt and harassing with true intention. There are people who make good bucks telling you that others are bad and corrupt. My scooter has taught me this, than anything else in life.

Some ask me have not you tangled yet [fight or argument] with anyone on street ? That really shocks me. Am I  on street  to fight or seek any chances to tangle with anyone ? Why do I have to be ?  They thought I am very strong nature and I must have had some good fight or argument on street for anything that went wrong. Strangely, that I have not faced yet. Precaution is better than prevention is my motto on street and with precaution we can protect yourself on street and agreed accidents are accidents, but it can be avoided with real caution. I know there are some who do climb down from car and bike and then kick with the other who hit them on street.

Old or new I still need it for a ride and when the road is like ours, my scooter is just fine.

Needless to tell you, first thing I do after reaching home safely is to thank god for my safe ride back home, because he is the one who deserves that for protecting me on the street. My scooter taught me about the power of God and his existence and then also help me know about the people and their real intention. Shhh... my scooter should not know about it, or it might get idea to sue me for handsome fine for not giving it all the credit of carrying me all this year and protecting me on the crazy raods of the city !

Reason or Victim ?

Its been a little more than three years, I have been watching crime shows that airs in Indian channel. I am not just hooked to watch it but, now its become the source of study hard the reason behind the crimes and what is the root cause of it and more than that, why crime takes places in our society ?

Unlike the popular belief that women are the reason behind all kind of mess that goes around in a family and in our society. However, now its been revealed that, its not women who are the reason behind all the crime that takes place. In fact, women of all age are the victim of most crimes that takes place in our society. Because, I have been studying  the reason behind the crimes. I have come up with  major reasons of crimes, which give us an insight of reality. In all these crimes which happens in India, women of all age are on the centre of it.

Dowry is a very controversial topic in indian society. A gift which almost all parents would like to give to their daughter, after marriage. But the greed of it have become not just a free will but a high demand from grooms family, have become a reason to torture mentally and physically against married women in india in all walk of life. Domestic violence, its not just limited in mental and physical torture but we have been watching young brides burned alive within years of marriage, because they could not bring what they expected to bring. It may be the bride who has to suffer the torture and face the violence but its the whole family and society has to pay the huge price for this crime. If they can't bring sufficient dowry their worth have been regarded like less than a dust in the new family and some try to buy the importance with enough dowry.

We also have been learning through this shows that giving dowry won't sort out the difference between two couple, yet this ugly culture is not vanishing despite strong law against it. Law can't change the mind of people it only can punish the culprit but why that eradication effort has not been taken strongly in Indian is something always hammers my conscience. Public must change their opinion not very little efforts are made from the media to face the brute reality of this  every passing day. this is the reason they marry and this is the reason marriage falls apart. yet the culture of dowry never ends in society.

Rape : Indians are very conservative when it comes to talk about sex. Having intimate relationship among the college going couples is big no no, even during the courtship; as its a big taboo. There is this believe that you should not marry for sex and sex should be used only as utility even in married life. But what is so nagging to watch on crime shows and more survey on this matter revealing that one girl is being raped in every 20 minutes. Due to their vast population it looks like India is a rape nation. Recent survey report by UN, which covered more than 10,000 men, says another side of the story, only this time; they had done the survey in many countries of the Asia-pacific continent. One in every four men admitted raping including their partner. They were asked, why do you rape ? One out of every four men responded for want of sex, entertainment and punishment. 75% responded for I want her or want to have sex with her, 59% responded for entertainment and more than 38% said for revenge. Sometimes, I wonder this is the country which brags that we are very religious and spiritual nation then why the religious or spiritual leader is also not helping common man to face the rapist in our daily life instead we keep reading in news or watching it on TV channels that its religious leaders, politicians, bosses colleagues who exploit the women. Should not they be changing their tune in this regard instead of telling them to suppress the need ? Had we not seen enough of it when it burst out, it not only shakes India but has power to give a goose numb every civil society across the nation.  read for more detail, Why do they rape ?

No baby girl : Although its illegal to know the sex of unborn child its widely practiced in India. Its not that they are curious about the sex of unborn child but they will terminate the pregnancy if they came to know if the fetus is of female sex. Daughter are so unwelcomed child in almost all family in India, with some exception. Some vocalist about it, some suppress the need to have boys but its so deep rooted in Indian mind that they just want boy as a child. This need is more prominent when there are already two or three girls in a family. Recently they were covering the story of a mother, whose one month baby girl was buried alive by her own father, and two grandmothers for want of a boy because she already had two more girls. She sure send all of them in jail and saved her baby girl.

We may read in news that China and India are rising superpowers when it comes to economic growth but when it comes to choice of sex they always go for boy instead of girl and now the situation have become too worse that there are 118 men for every 100 suitable marriageable girls to marry and that is 1000 men for every 914 girls in India. and now men are paying high price for this. In Indian society its is believed that only son will take their parents to heaven and only they can give the continuity to the blood line.

Women as a commodity not as a human being : We sensible women are sick and tired of this typical man’s mentality that we are just a sex object and nothing more than that. But worse than that, one of the biggest reason crime takes place in India against women of all age is because we are regarded as commodity not a human being. There are men who think, we are nothing more than a sex object, made to bring pleasure in their life, some regard us if we are maid who come in their life in form of mother, wife, daughter. Some see huge money in young and vulnerable women and then they fell in love with them love them for some time and then these loving husbands or lover sells their lovely wife to pimps in brothels. What is so shocking to see on these crime shows is, its fathers who are pushing their daughters into flesh trade and husband who sells their wife for money. In some rural parts of india even a whole family is involved in selling their daughters to the highest bidder to be used as a sex object. This culture have been going on for ages. Women can't have their opinion because we are something men need to protect, possess and guarded all the time; as if we are not a living creature at all. That over protection is what making us weaker than we needed to be and that is what is giving men more power because they are more exposed to outside world than women. This reminded me of a line by a man who said, If you now less it make me look smart.

After studying intensely crime shows over many years I have learned that women are not the reason instead they are the victims of all the crime. But, its easy to blame them for everything that goes wrong as we are the weaker sex.

Why do they rape ?

 This year news of rape, sexual violence and fight against sexual violence dominated the world news. It all started December last year, when a girl was gang raped in Delhi, in a bus by six boys, which ultimately killed her in a hospital in Singapore. After that news of rape and sexual violence skyrocketed on all news channels as well as newspapers all over the world. The death of 23 year old student infuriated college students, mostly girls and then, the protest on the street of Delhi slowly united whole Indian women, regardless of young or old against sexual violence and then this also catch fire like haywire with similar demonstration in street here in Nepal and there is South Africa. Every country and society is fighting the same fight, against the rape and sexual violence. In February, the blade runner Oscar Pistorius killed his girlfriend at his home. The kind of media coverage this incident got across the world fueled collective anger from girls around the world against sexual violence that exist in all walk of life.

In march a Swiss tourist was gang raped by the four men in India again. They had tied her husband and then was forced him to watch the heinous sexual crime that took in front of his eyes. When I read this news it was hard to shake my head off from the thought, who will be traumatized more ? Will it be the husband, who was forced to watch helplessly or the wife who was gang raped when her husband was watching all this ?

This fueled more ongoing protest world wide, the protesters demanded death penalty for rapist to curb this crime. When the world was gripped in the news of rape and sexual violence, we also could see the effect of it in our homeland, which saw protest in front of the prime minister’s office for more than two months. More rape news saw the light of day as before women would have remained silent on this matter or it would have not found its place in newspaper, definitely not on front page News. But, I noticed, it was more of a selling point of newspaper rather than fighting the fight we as a collective society has to fight, taking it as a ugly face of society.

There was no follow up news on rape or violence here and people wont even care was the guilty punished or not. What shocked me more was when a man in his forty made a girl in her eleven year old pregnant and she even gave birth to her baby who died next day. The news died in next week. Why public don't care ? because media don't report what happened next ! If media cares, then they would report the punishment or the follow up news also, not just the news of rape or baby girl giving birth of a baby.

But this wasn't the case in India, they protested in the streets of Delhi took the brutal lathi charge by police took the dirty water thrown at them but girls could not be stopped by those brute force that was used to silence them and persisted until the four rapist got punished. Every civil citizen around the world is sick and tired of sexual violence and rape, going on in our society. Statistics reveal, in south Africa one girl is being raped in every four minutes, its a lot high number than one in 20 minutes in India. What is so scary about this  ratio is, in south Africa population is about 55 millions, compared to 1.2 billion in India, making it world's second most populated country only after China. Here in Nepal, survey says it happens once in every 54 minutes.

After protesting and demanding for harsher punishment to the rapist for long, this month  saw the four men being sentenced to death penalty, one minor was punished maximum for his crime as he was the one who was most brutal in this and the main culprit the driver hanged himself in jail cell.

Now, human right activist are slamming the decision by the Delhi court, questioning will this curb the future rape cases ? The answer is No ! but somebody has to tell rapists, it is not tolerated anymore and some justice has to be there to tell them, that no more sexual violence ! Sure enough, this decision does manifest the collective conscience of collective anger, which has been gripping India. In general, one case won't punish the combined mentality of sexual assaulter or violence against women.

One in four female is being raped in South Africa according to studies, from month old babies to 94 year old grandmothers. Perhaps this is the reason the opposition politicians Lindiwe Mazibuko described it, “a silent war” against the children and women of this country.

Recent survey report by UN, which covered a group of more than 10,000 men, says another side of the story, only this time; they had done the survey in many countries of the Asia-pacific continent. One in every four men admitted raping including their partner. Participants were asked why do you do this ? The three answer they responded absentmindedly - they got fished in the tricky question - gave us the clear answer and the reason, why do they do it ?

I want her [or wanted to have sex with her] : 75% of responded said they wanted to have sex with her. This reminded me a crime case that happened in India. A college boy, who got too obsessed in his feelings for a girl who studied in same college, but she felt it from the very beginning, it was not love. Both were studying law. More she avoided him, more he got obsessed with her, and he wanted to have her as wife. In due course of time, the obsession got worse and worse with each passing day. One day, he entered in her apartment to tell her how much he loved her and she had to change her mind on this but he ended up killing her, before that, he had ‘raped her’ opps sorry, I mean to say 'had sex' with her, even though she was provided guards at her home by police force to protect her ! The above  incident is the classic case of a guy, who is suffering from narcissistic disorder and the death of the girl is result of audacity to challenge that mentality. When he was punished after about 8 years of the incident, he was a lawyer and his father was second in row of a Delhi police force.

Rape as entertainment : More than 59% responded, they raped for an entertainment, making this reason number two for rape. Being a woman myself, I found it so hard to believe, some men found entertainment in rape. Perhaps the case of a teenage schoolgirl in US, who was raped, when she was so drunk helps us to understand this kind of mentality men carries with them. She did not even know what was going around her in her drunken state and she could not even oppose what was happening to her. It was done by her friends, who were present at the party and as if, that is not enough; they also made mobile video of it, which went viral on YouTube. The boys who did it, did not  even feel guilty for what they did. Oh yes, until this news made headlines including on CNN and they sure were found guilty of charge and they punished by the court for their meaningless entertainment and shameless act.

Rape to punish her : over 38 % of focus group responded they raped [including their partner] to punish her, making this the reason number three for rape.  In February this year, a 17 year old girl was brutally killed in South Africa, with her body carved open from her stomach to her genitals; it was done by none other than but her ex-boyfriend with the help of two of his friends. The guy was nabbed in the same month and then was sentenced to 21 year life imprisonment.

Haunted and Stranded

 

I do believe in Ghost and its existence on earth. Oh my God ! having said that I think, I just admitted; I also believe in the existence of souls. Souls that wander around us all the time; after leaving the body. But, hey; I am not afraid of them, because I am sure, I really have not hurt anyone to that extent; they will come around to haunt me down.

I am not afraid from dark, neither I am afraid of the ghost, meaning it will harm me in anyway. During my school days, I used to read so many stories in Indian magazines, with very compelling truth behind it. If not all the time but mostly its troubled souls, which get trapped on earth, due to their ‘unfinished’ business on earth. Extensive study on this subject matter reveals that, mostly  suicide cases and those who were murdered are the ones, whose souls keep lingering on earth until ‘it’ gets even with the one, who caused the trap on earth.

Couple of years ago, I hardly used to miss the Ghost Hunters, a reality TV show [now it gets aired on AXN]. A program made by two British guys, geared up with all the state-of-the-art equipments to catch the invisible souls in the camera, trying to find the existence with evidence of a haunted souls - ghost.  

Let me tell you here one thing, Britishers or the ones, who fear most with the ghost and think their house is being haunted and they believe it more than other nations. Its maybe that, when they do that kind of survey, they do not even think of the country like Nepal and India, if they do; then they will take a deep sigh saying my God, we are not alone; who fear from the invisibles.

The interesting point of this show is that, unlike Indian babas or sadhus, who do this without knowing what they are doing with the person or haunted house; this reality TV show allows us to see every bit of their investigation, almost from the beginning. Normally, it start from the complain they get, from the haunted house owner and the team leaving their office to be at the scene to do the investigation, which takes place mostly at night and their reporting of the findings with solid proof, which they captured on TV.

Some souls are really very disturbed and they don't want any investigators including house owners to stay in the house, they have been living and they keep telling them to leave the place with their own way; surprisingly some are very cooperative and meekly respond to the question and give a clear sign that they are their.

I picked this story from Learn to Live - 2: This was reported in a newspaper Pune. An eight year old boy was suffering from the torments of a disembodied spirit. The rich father  spent a lot of money to cure him of the scourge, but in vain. They heard that in the Dattareya temple of Narasobawadi such scourges were cured. The Parents took the boy and stayed there for two months. They offered worship to the deity, offered prayers. Finally, the ghost revealed the secret of how he came to possess the boy. “I was walking on the road, this man slung a noose around my neck and killed me, and robbed me off the five hundred Rs. in my possession. I turned into a ghost. For the past seven lives, I have been into a ghost. For the past seven life's I have been searching for my murderer. I caught him at last. I will not give him up”. The father, who was greatly worried about his son said, “I am prepared to return your money with interest in any manner you suggest, release my son from your hold”. The ghost said, “he killed me, I am bound to kill him”, the ghost never let go the boy, soon the boy was dead.

After reading this story, I went in deep ponder to think and think real hard, who was victim of revenge and hatred ?  The boy who died or the the ghost who could not free himself from hatred, that took him seven long lifetimes, in search of the person ? We all hate one or the other to some extent, some may hate bit too short and some may hate too long but the big question is how much one should hate someone ?

In the first case the findings is captured in the television and some sounds recorded in audio instruments too, they confirm to the house owners, that there sure live some unseen power[s] then, they leave the place with the confirmation. The house owners and now they also get the invitation from the big corporate houses across the Britain and at times some army barracks also have started inviting them to see the reasons behind the unsolved mystery that resides in the house or within the periphery of the premises.

At the end of every the Ghost Hunters show, my mind never stop asking me one question what next ? What is the use of finding and confirming  some invisible living in the house, other than the house owners. What should be the next step by the owner ? Leave [sell] the house now ? Just then, I some what seem to be appreciating this illogical, irrational and insane sounding solutions, when they say, “donate the purple shawl, to the diseased”, coming from our eastern babas, sadhu or at times our very own priest to offer peace puja, so that the trapped souls may find peace or at times even find freedom from the situation. Sometime, maybe we need to be just compassionate, rather than trying to find some rational reasoning and answers to something beyond the power of human beings.  How can we deal with invisible powers like souls ?

---

note : This story was first published on Nepali Advocate on October 16, 2012

What we need to understand ?

 It was rumored that Amitabh Bachchan was signed for a 100 million deal for a season of 2012 KCB. Does this surprise anyone reading this or watching KBC for many years now, this year the prize money is raised to 70 million, before that it was 50 million. The year before that it was 20 million and when this show [ KBC ] had started in 1999 a franchise of ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ winning money was 10 million only.

There is new buzz in Bollywood with a ‘100 million club’ which has a direct relation with the box office result of any movie by any actor or director. Rohit Shetty is on top of the list with 200 corod for making the mark of straight two of his movies in shortest time. Taran Adarsh who is famous movie critic of the industry has posted that on his tweet. Salman leads as an actor with three straight movies back to back for making more than a 100 corod each. But before that there was a buzz in the industry that Salman Khan gets paid a whopping 10-12  corod for a movie, so does the Amir gets paid almost the same amount of money for the movies he does. The list goes on if I keep writing each by name.

It is said that Mr Bachchan makes almost 10 corod from his brand endorsement dealings only - its bit old news I mean more than a year old- every year. Likewise its speculated that Kareena, Priyanka and katrina makes almost 5-7 corod from their brand endorsements. Entertainment magazines and channels keep making buzz like this. Tom Hanks was paid 12 million dollar for his role in the Da Vinci Code. Julia Roberts used to get paid 15 million  dollar and now the news is doing that Jennifer Lopez is roped in for the news season of American Idol at 17.5 million dollar to return in the show.

Sheryl Sandberg second-in-command, Chief Operating Officer was with Google prior to her posing in Facebook's. She makes multi millions dollars not to mention she is also a celeb writer of a book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, which made her rich by  91 million dollar. Although, its not disclosed her salary but everyone knows she gets paid very handsomely for the her current position.

 

Fifty Shade of Grey made the writer richer by 85 million pound in the year that hit the book stall. We also keep reading and watching Lance Armstrong used to make 75 million dollar a day during his heyday, which lost after he was barred from taking part in any competition due to his doping charges. Tiger wood used to make a billion dollar from endorsement signing amount only apart from his major championship in golf. All the star player makes good money in sports and music, movies, corporate houses, science and technology.

I have never ever heard in my life, here in my country that so and so person is paid this much for a movie, for a music record, for a book deal, for a top position in any company or name anything.  All those negotiations are a top most secret deal and it should never ever see the light of sun. It should remain in between the person and the company. Because, its so small figure that the one who signs the deal do not want the rest of the world to know it; because it has power to make the artist or creative brain feel small in front of pay they get.

At this very moment, I remember a line reading some where, you get what you pay for. But why is so. I keep reading in papers that Americans keep bragging about the pay they pay to get so and so person in their bandwagon, whether its movie, music records, TV shows or corporate hiring. They just brag like anything. Even Indian movies has started bragging and now the box office record is another meter to that brag point.

But this is not the same case here, pay to any one is not a reason to brag for, those rates are top secrets. The question is why ?

Couple of years ago, I have read one story about in a book confession of an advertising man by David Ogilvy about a Japanese doll, which was made in such a way that every big doll could fit inside it smaller dolls of the same shape and design. David Ogilvy the man behind the O&M advertising company have opined that, if hiring becomes this way, this only makes any company, a company of dwarf, which bars the growth of a company. To grow in life, one must hire a person who is brilliant, smarter and who can help make more money to company than squeeze a penny, until penny begs for mercy.

There is another story, which I remember at this very moment. This is a real story of about a man who lived in a village in Africa Kiribati island. I Read this in Reader's Digest many years ago. In this village like many in African culture, the family of groom normally gives cattle to the family of bride as a settlement deal. Therefore, this man was a matter of laughter in the whole village, for he paying about a dozen healthy cattle to the father of a girl he wanted to marry. Who was not even worth a cattle or two, that too sick or at least, that's what the villagers thought about her. Everyone laughed at him for so long; for he being fooled by the father to pay such number of cattle for his ‘invisible and unworthy’ daughter; and it had become the living legend of that village. But, all this did not affected in anyway to this man and he was happily settled with his wife. One day the writer of this story went on to see this man, he was surprised to see his confident, well poised wife who welcomed him at their house. She was full of self pride. That was so opposite of what he had heard about her when he had entered the village. She was not the girl anymore who was worth only a couple of dying cattle, instead she had become the woman with many dozen healthy cattle. The way she carried her told a lot about that deal, her poise and walk  with confidence and exude her self-esteem has a lot to teach us.

She is the living example of the saying that goes, you get; exactly what you pay for.

What heroes teach us ?

 Movie industry is the best place to learn lessons of life. Lead actors do give us more powerful story through their life  a huge part to enlighten us with their relentless effort or work, which do not have anything to do with story they love to tell us on screen. What you see on screen and what they tell you with their lifelong work is so different. Here are some such story, which I find a lot more interesting than the movies they do or make.

Persistence : watching Mr Bachchan on sets of KBC is simply awesome and a kind of mesmerizing power he has over Indians or the people around the world. But what has power to pull me towards him to be look up to is, noone in the movie industry has seen the kind of ups and downs as Mr Bachchan had seen. He had lost almost 10 corod in a single night, which made him bite dust; and it sure took time for him to recover from his bankrupt. As a result he had to nod his head to do the television show which until then was regarded demeaning to do for a star which height had power to tower over bollywood. Who knew then, KBC would be the most watched show in the history of Indian Television.  It has been said and believed, that the ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ KBC in India made Mr. Bachchan millionaire than anyone else on the show. It sure helped him to clear all his old dues. his story tells us the failure is temporary only. Failure is temporary to those who persist in life and permanent to those who quit and never try again.

Let your work speak : Sanjay Dutta was charged for being a part of Mumbai explosion in 1993 for keeping the kind of weapons, which was used for exploding Mumbai city. This explosion not only shook Indian but the whole world with the kind of brutality it carried with it. If they say they had evidence to prove it; they must be right ! But then, I had seen this special documentary on an entertainment channel about his life. During that time he was recovering from drug addiction, and his father was new in politics. There was chaos in the city, his mom was muslim and father was Hindu. A reason for mob to attach them anytime, so he kept the weapon for self protection, which he said repeatedly in his defence. But what forced me to change my mind about him, not to take him as a bad guy is, if he was really that bad guy, who could blew off the city and take life of hundreds of innocent people, then why was he accepted by the decent people; who work in the movie industry ? No, I am not reasoning why director took him as a lead character, but how come his co-stars got comfortable to work with the man, who was regarded such bad boy by media ?  

They too could have avoided him as bad boy.  In that document one reason, for why he was sent to jail was given that, it was due to political rivalry his father facing    politics. That's why they say dirty politics ! The document also revealed that, when he was released from the jail after serving 18 months under the TADA court, harsher criminal act, he straight went to see Balraj Thakre’s home, before even heading to his home, to thank him for the support he had shown him during all the time when he served his time in jail. No one should forget that his parents bother were also a yesteryear’s star of Bollywood, his father was with him through the thick and thin. His story tells us, what is seen should not be believed as real truth.

Stubborn Determination : I have read in one of those movie magazines back in ‘80s that Zeenat Aman’s English was very poor when she was in school but she was determined to improve it anyway and sure she did it. When I read this, she became my role model to take this matter in my hand, so when people compliment me today about my English and some even ask where did you study ? your English is so good ! Times like that, I forget to thank Zeenat for instilling the desire in my mind to improve my own poor eng against all odds.

Dignity : Years back, when I was still in school, I read in a movie magazine about a small incident about Dev Anand. That magazine had mentioned, how Dev Anand had tackled an uneasy situation with one of his team member while shooting for a movie. He had said in a calm voice, “don't shout, I also can raise my voice.” I was growing up in Bal Mandir, when I read this, which changed my entire attitude about shouting and presuming this is how we should make our point clear. Truth be told, I grew up in a shout culture and everyone shouted at each others and thought they made their point clear that way. Without raising a voice, it was considered that the others would not grasp our viewpoint fully and shouting was the only way to make her/his point clear.  

I saw so much truth and power in that simple sounding line. Honestly speaking, it totally changed my attitude about raising my voice to make my point clear, as well as the way I view about the actor. I have to admit, he was never my favorite actor, but  he will always be remembered as a pure gentleman. Because of him, I know that, I don't have to raise my voice to make my point clear, even though I was growing up in a society; which practiced the shout. Firmness and quiet tone has a lot more power to emphasize on said words than the raised tones. I have learned it by now, only weak people shout, strong one don't have to raise their voice to to be heard.

Working as a team : Everyone who is in this industry, knows about it, movie industry is all about a team work. But what I am saying here, working only with the person you are comfortable with, is also bring better result than teaming up with all stars with whom you share no compatibility. David Dhawan made movies mostly with Govinda and their team did have a power to break the box office records, even if the ‘pundits’ predicted it will bust out in box office. Their movies used to prove wrong to all those pundits. When they were a team, they were a winning team; when one is not around the other is lost in the allies of changing lane of industry. Adam Sandler teams up with Rob Snyder and we know it, their team is winning team. I can tell the movie made by Gary Marshall just by seeing some familiar faces it it, which works best for him.

Leonardo is on the top list of movie maker Martin Scorsese and together they have been a part of success movies. Rohit Shetty teams up with Ajay Devgan, Shahrukh Khan is favourite actor amongst the bollywood movie powerhouse, Yash Raj Movie. Likewise, every one have their own team of songwriters and singers and whole camera crew to work with. Jay Leno works with same creative team and TV crew for last seventeen years. Paring of Maha jodi is also one of success story of working as a team. Everyone has their favorite team to work with, and if it works for you, stick together.

Rape and woman

Some time ago on my Facebook there was a post by a fellow friend, that a woman in Canada was to sue a sex toy company, because the toy she used was so hard and harsh making the whole affair so painful. I could not help but think after reading the post, this complaint would change the whole concept of rape and the lawyers are going to use it against women in future for real rape charges.

Here is another, even more shocking news, how women use rape for their own benefit and later back off from the complaint only they find it that now after the DNA test such cases may fall against them only. This news was published in Kathmandu Post on June 12, 2012.

An octogenarian of Pathari VDC-8 in Morang, who was kicked out of society on a rape charge four years ago has been rehabilitated in his village after he is proved innocent.

Rupnarayan Ghimire, now 84, was accused of raping speech-impaired Chandra Kumari Bhattarai. After the incident, Bhattarai lodged a complaint against Rupnarayan in the District court on September 6, 2009.

However, based on a report of a DNA test of Rupnarayan and a baby born to Bhattarai, the court ruled that Rupnarayan was innocent.

“Not only God, court also saw the truth. I had been living with mental and physical pain for the past four years. But now I am proved innocent and will live the rest of my life with a sense of independence in the society” said Rupnarayan in a program held to felicitate him at Janata Higher Secondary School in Aaitabare on Saturday.

He was living in a rented room at Pathari ever since he was accused of raping Bhattarai.

Meanwhile, Bhattarai said in a written statement that she lodged the complaint against Rupnarayan under the pressure of her relatives. The relatives, who encourages Bhattarai to charge Rupnarayan, however, fled the village after the courts verdict.

Rupnarayan son, Krishna Prasad has demanded compensation and action against the guilty.

Of course, the news itself is very incomplete in itself and the postcard kind of news. Something that tells me, do not trust news  in Nepal. The main culprit here seems to be the relatives of the Bhattarai, but there is no such mention of the person involved in this case not even their name, even the speech-impaired; the so called rape victim, seem to have involved in the malpractice here, due to some greed factor, which is not clearly mentioned in the news. It seems to me, she have changed the opinion, only when the DNA report came out. Its so obvious that her relatives and she herself was so unaware of the DNA test. What could be worst, that DNA report came in light after four years only.

There is no doubt that, after reading the news, the victim here is the eighty year old man, who not only had to go through the humiliation but also has to leave his own house and society at that tender age and the age of a woman involved here, who could give birth to a child is not even mentioned. Just because she is speech-impaired does not mean that she should not be punished for her involvement in this case. Rape is very sensitive issue but this kind of news really hammers us to think it otherwise.

It sure does not surprise me then, why some lawyers doubt the intention of the rape victims after the rape charges. Statistic reveal that, about seventy percent of rape cases, it happens when the rapist know the victim already and and of that seventy percent the forty percent of the involved are from the close relatives of the victim.

There may be some truth in the logic that it may be sex at first as some lawyers argue in rape cases, and when the situation did not turn out as per her wish or demand then, they say its rape. You know what, the tears shed by women has so much power to melt the heart of man and it works everywhere, even when its the stone hearted men.

But this is where women lose the real case and trust too.  And that never ending sympathy which she never gets tired of seeking, instead of fighting her fight; is what reduce her weight forever.

This kind of news really makes it so hard for any woman, who has to face the rape victim in the court in future, who are the real victims of rape.

-----

Note : First Published on Nepali Advocate on October 6, 2012