Sunday, December 24, 2017

Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage

Picture downloaded from Internet

During my college days, I had a friend who preferred arranged marriage over Love marriage. She had her parents to look upon, admire and have that strong belief in this institution. But when Diana and Prince Charles divorced, her strong belief towards arranged marriage was terribly shaken.

I have friends who are doing well in arranged marriages and I also have friends who are not doing that well even after a love affair before marriage. When situation turns like that, we tend to analyze the pros and cons of both types of marriages.

Let’s give another twist to this question: in Western world, love marriage is only an option and in my side of the world, arranged marriage is a culture with traditional values. If you go for an arranged marriage, it means you are very family oriented person and will tie the knot at your family’s wish, like the guy who married the girl his mother chose for him.

As for me, the choice of arranged marriage has another angle. This traditional institution is based on the transfer of ancestral property to the offspring. If ancestral property is not transferred from fathers to sons and if the main person in the household is given a choice to give away his /her properties as per his/her wish, this facade of the family oriented decision will have clearer picture: the aspect, some people prefer to ignore.

If people are given choices in choosing their life partners, they would certainly use their intelligence in choosing the right partners and that won’t diminish any family values. There should be no financial matter involved during the decision taking. If the ‘will system’ in passing the ancestral property is implemented in Nepal; there won’t be such thing like Western culture and Eastern culture when marriage is concerned. The culture and traditional values will be a lot more different than what we witness now.
Woman, money and land are not the only reasons leading to war all time; it is also a reason that helps one to decide on the wrong and right.
I am pretty sure; if marriage is not done for money or land, people will definitely go for love marriage instead of an arranged one.
In a different note, love marriage is popular in developed countries and arranged marriage is more popular in developing countries. Does that choice has anything to do with being rich or poor based on the marriage tradition ?

Eds' Note : This article has already been Posted on  on

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Battle of sex: women’s side

“No!”, I replied.
“Then, why don’t you marry ?”
She doesn’t stop asking the same question even after my repeated request not to ask it again. I don’t want any more questions in the topic.
This question makes me feel uncomfortable, and it also freezes me. I am not interested in this institution. My concern is, if I am free from this question in my family circle, why are the outsider even bother? But, they never stop bothering me.
So, I have to answer her question to make sure that she won’t keep asking the question again.
“I am not buying the concept that men are superior to women and that, I can’t live with a man who strongly believes that they are superior creatures on earth.” I added, “In our society, men are brought up with this belief and I look at them with a question in my eyes.”

She told that, she understands what I was talking about. Her own daughter, who is gender specialist and works in china (what a paradox a gender specialist is a gender biased), is also uninterested in marriage and thinks men are chauvinist.

Some years ago, when my boyfriend asked me “do you think men are pig ?”

My prompt answer was “No !”

But in my mind, I was thinking, “Why is he dragging the innocent creature, and what fault did the pig had to be compared with an arrogant man ?”

He was the same guy who had problem with me watching Oprah Winfrey show. I am a huge fan of Oprah as she is a single woman institute in the whole world who has done a lot to empower women all around the world.

The idea that male are superior sex compared to female is being injected in our mind for their own benefit. The truth is, physically there may be a vast difference between men and women, and one thing that is truly equal is brain. To illustrate the physical difference in a comical way, a Hindi movie explained the difference: men can bare their top in public and women can’t. Leaving alone the physical difference, we can’t difference between the two sexes by the intellectual strength they can possess. That might be one of the reasons Harvard University enrolls more women than men.

Yes, we think in a different way than men and as the saying goes, “Man thinks with his head and woman thinks with her heart”. Different ways of thinking don’t mean that one is smarter and the other is not, it is just that we think differently.
My experience says that men can do only one task at a time but, women can multitask. Shouldn’t it make us a superior sex?
I have read of a English teachers who once wrote, “Woman without her man is nothing”, on the black board and called a boy and a girl in the class to put the punctuation mark on the sentence. The outcome was:
Woman, without her; man is nothing.
Woman, without her man; is nothing.
Interesting lines, aren’t they ?
Now you tell me which of the two lines was the the touch-up of the boy and which one that of the girl?

Ed's Note : This post has already been published on  on

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Indian spices & English Cities

The other day, I accompanied one of my good friends to a financial institute to sell a concept for a television commercial (TVC). The client suggested showing money or gems as a part of the concept. My friend’s logic was not to show money in the advertisements of banks or financial companies. He said, that will have negative impact on the mass and will not generate result, as expected. This got me thinking. Why not? After all, it is all about money.

In the eastern side of the world, people are shy to talk about sex but, at the same time, they are busy generating more babies compared to the western world. Asia has more than 60% contribution to the world’s 6 billion plus population out of which, China and India combined contribute 2.5 billion. People in the western world are open and freely talk on sex and ideas associated with it. How come their population is a lot less compared to those who believe that sex is a taboo?
One common example – lets think about the name of cites in England – Essex, Sussex, and Middlesex. They are the names of the towns over there. In a different note, Clove, Cardamom and Cinnamon are also the name of places, in some part of India. It should be mentioned that, those cities have nothing to do with the production of the spice they represent. Do you have any idea on what the heck they were thinking, when naming the cities?

People in western world wear such revealing dresses that sometimes cause road accidents. Cities are plastered with the billboards and posters of enticing, sultry, suggestive and seductively posing models. TVs carry sexy commercials to arouse the sexual desire on the viewers. But in South Asia, similar suggestive billboards, posters, TV commercials are detested and banned in most of the cases. Wearing reveling dresses in the public is a definitive no-no and is known to create huge bruhaha.

I believe naming a city with a “sex” word in it and naming cities with suggestive meanings are same, and the only difference is the ‘mode of presentation’. Cardamom is considered to enhance sexuality in a female while cinnamon does the same to men (although not to the level of commercial products, like Viagra). Clove is good enough for both genders. Hence, the three main ingredients of the traditional five-spices to tantalize the gourmets tongue mean more that what they sound. So, motive behind the UK cities and Indian cities are same but Indians acted smart in choosing the words; making it more effective. Many still wrongly believe that the UK cities ‘sex’ names represent the places of Saxons tribe (Middle, South, and East Saxons).
It is to be noted, a young widow is suggested to stay away from spicy foods, to control her natural desire of sex. People in the eastern part of the world believe staying away from the spicy foods helps in controlling excessive sexual desire.
Going back to the TVC, we were talking about : now, I could see my friend’s point of view; the docile suggestion has more impact on the bigger mass compared to the direct suggestion.

Ed's Note : This article has already been Posted on  in

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Is it all in the blood !

Let’s talk about acting here. Let’s talk about Bollywood and pick one top actor of the 70s – Hema Malini and Dharmendra. Both were the superstars of their time. Their daughter Easha is not doing that well in the movie industry as her mother did in her time. Hema Malani was raw in the industry and was not trained and polished to enter this line and she was not from the movie family background either. Easha should be doing a lot better than her parents because she has blood with good gene running on her body not only from one superstar but superstar parents. They were well known for their good work on the screen. Lookwise, Esha is also identical to her mother.

If you take a deeper look on this family, you will find out that Dharmendra alone got higher share of name and fame in the industry compared to the combined efforts of his children. Hema Malini also enjoys the similar share of fame.

Hema Malini, still is a dream-girl to many people, not only in India but all around the world. Dharmenda is also considered the living legend of Bollywood. Some years down the line, people might ask, “Esha? who is Esha ?”

Do you know the name of the parents of Abraham Lincoln? His parents had the same kind of blood, red blood, that ran in his vein, the same kind which runs in your body and my body and our parents’ body.
So tell me do you still believe, it’s all in the blood?
If you do, then think, think again !

Ed's Note : this article has already been Posted on  in

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Freedom of Expression

Picture from Internet
Of all the people on earth, journalist are among those who would like to practice freedom of expression more than anyone. No doubt, they advocate, practice, fight the concept of freedom of expression. But lets see how much they have got what they fight and stand for for fiercely.

May the corrupt rot :  Couple of years ago this is the slogan popularized by BBC journalist Rabindra Mishra. Mishra is famous for his scoop that gives him 15 minutes popularity was sporting T-shirt that read the slogan “may the corrupt rot.” He is that kind of journalist who always picks the topic that angers the public. It's not this easiest way to win the likeness for his choice ? But I would like to ask Mr Mishra  is practicing cursing to those who are in power position is freedom of expression ? There has to be someone in our society with clear conscience to tell  him, you got the concept totally wrong.

Let me be honest I started liking the eloquent Mr. Laxmi Guragai, Ex-editor of Gorkhapatra and his series of articles in Samhita that was published in 2072 - 2073. I enjoyed reading all of it and still even after reading Mr. Krisha Shrestha, another ex-editor of Gorkhapatra who exposed the lies of Mr Guragai with sufficient evidence. In the issue of 2073 Ashoj senior journalist lies, Mr Shrestha colleague of Mr Guragai helped us to see the real side of veteran journalist and the truth in his posted materials in Samhita. Mr. Guragain scuffed too much and tried to bend the news in his favor when the reality was different. Thank God, Samhita gave space for other veteran to cut the lies of veteran who misused the space provided by Samhita. This reminded me of a  movie the glass shattered. Here in this movie they talk about a guy who fabricated the news to be popular and enjoyed the name and fame until somebody busted his lies. I think Guragain had not seen than movie. How long you can soak in the pride of lies ?

We all know about how the journalist of charlie Hebdo was killed in 2015 April by some irate and irrational Muslim brothers. What the young Muslim did was very barbaric and irrational. There is no doubt. However, no one should provoke anyone to that extent that they would like to end the matter with gun. There are some opinions that better be kept unexpressed in the head, if it do not do greater good for the society. Freedom of Expression should not be [practiced if it may cause tragic accident. We should be sensitive to others views and believe also. And if such views and beliefs matter to a greater mass than practicing such expression may be avoided.  What Charlie Hebdo journalists and cartoonists did can not be viewed as freedom of expression but it's the malpractice in the name of freedom of expression.

In the name of freedom of expression there should not be war or crime in our society. Instead we must use our pen and brain to end the war and crime from our society. If such barbarism can be stopped then that would be wise decision than the freedom of expression.

Many of our journalists have habit of filling whole pages without naming a single person or organization. As if what he knows whole nation knows about it.  Such journalist lives in small society. One such example is Darshan Sharma on Samhita 2073 Ashoj issue. He is talking about a mal practice in our media but he did not mention the name of media house he is talking about. Spilling beans is also not the work of journalist, they should go and write suspense novel. Because we don't like fiction or suspense but like to read bold media men who would tell us story that happened in our society.  Freedom of expression is more than art of oratory more than captivating way of taking and filling pages, it is not the loud opinion. All the expression in media men must have conscience, authenticity and sense of responsibility backed by audacity. The written thing must have direct and positive impact in our society also. If the practice of freedom of expression is chaos, crime or barbarism then I would keep a loud mum if some come forward with a gun and then crush such strong pen managed by journalists like Sarb and Riss.

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Logical Error - II

Guna Raj Luitel

In the beginning of 2015, March the Kathmandu valley was shaken when there was an acid attack. Before they were successful to nab the culprit, whenever police tried to enter into the interrogation with two school girls who were victims, constantly denied having been in any kind of relationship. After three weeks of hunt, the man who committed crime was finally inside the police net. It was revealed then, it was the revenge action, like it happens in 99% cases of acid attack.

The young man was rejected by a girl so he thought of mutilating her with acid, with a motto : if I can't have you no one should. Just then a brilliant journalist named Mr. Gunaraj Luitel wrote a very good and convincing article in Setopati twisting the whole topic into the caste discrimination due to rejection in romantic affair instead of criminal charge. It was a well written article  with a very convincing smooth and gripping storytelling but defensive in its core. Outwardly he was focusing only about how rooted our caste discrimination in our society. He gave us the whole lot of different angle of the story. In his article he tried to tell us  how good son Jivan BK was, how loving and responsible brother he was and how caring boyfriend he was before his lie was busted. The journalist did not see anything wrong carrying a relationship based on a lie but his sympathy rested purely to the young man who was rejected.  How the loving man converted into a criminal when the girl came to know about his true caste which he had kept secret for long time when relationship have started and lasted until the lie was a secret.

Sure, nothing remained the same when his lie was exposed to girl and then to her family. Mr. Luitel who had already been Editor of the Annapurna Post before had joined Setopati team then was trying to take the job of defending the culprit with his powerful pen and brain instead of seeing the truth from the justice angle. Revenge can never ever reduce a criminal instincts and how come  Mr Luitel can think and then pick his pen for the criminal under the assumption of another mistake can do the first wrong right ! ? !

That brilliant article was way off the track in whole different direction which diverted the mass to feel sorry for the man than to demand for the punishment under the criminal act. Even Though, all the thirteen national dailies have carried editorials in unison demanding the strong punishment for the acid attacker.  Acid attack is a criminal case and punishable act and caste discrimination is social offence and a lot less punishable compared to acid attack.  Social offence and crime is a whole lot of different issue. But the seasoned Journalist was trying to convert it battle of sex   over the VAW cases rather than siding with justice.

Now, Mr Luitel is Editor in Nagarik but whenever I read him that always make me react strongly. In another case when I read him in on on his facebook status that read like this, nowadays children learn to protest ever since they come out from the womb. to prove his case strong he had posted the picture of seven years and younger children who were used by some NGO in Nepalgunj some time back  to protest for child rights. No wonder that made me write on his comment post, ‘have you been hit by a baseball bat on your head and bumped on the sharp edge of pillar before you wrote it ? some time latter I read in social site that the NGO[s] were being prosecuted for using young children nude most of them wearing black goggles also to pull the attention of authority. I am not going to believe this, that  his angle and my angle are way too different and will clash all the time. His angle do have power to divert mass attention to the wrong direction and  I see a logical error in his conviction.

I keep reading in media that our mainstream media are biased about the issues that are related  to women. Be it her basic rights, gender issues and equal rights, VAW cases; they are simply scared to open talk about it. They view women right activists merely as people who work only to earn dollar, as if, this is not our society’s problem but these issues should be of INGO or NGOs.  Realizing this, to become the collective voice of women journalist Sancharika Samuha was established around 1998. Sancharika Samuha runs a TV program under the name of Samakone which is a funded project by a Norwegian Embassy. No wonder woman's right issues are viewed by men and women in our society as a borrowed concept. They also argue our society do not need such drastic changes as women rights activists fight or demand for.

Couple of month ago, I read an article in Nagariknews by Mr. Subash Ghimire, editor Republica, how an ex-president of Harvard had to resign from his position in 2005 after his controversial speech saying one reason there are relatively few women in top positions in science may be "issues of intrinsic aptitude." The remarks were made at a small seminar on January 14. When The Boston Globe reported on the remarks -- and the anger of some women who heard them -- the comments became the focus of an international debate.

Nirmala Sharma, President SAS
After reading this piece of article, my mind reeled back to the time when Mrs. Nirmala Sharma, President of Sancharika Samuha appointed Mr. Gunaraj Luitel as an editor just after he wrote that contradicting article on Setopati. Where he converted the whole episode of acid attack - a serious form of crime against VAW - into a caste base issue. There was no voice raised by a single women right activists against that article. On top of that, there was this appointment; to tease the women right activists as well as journalists of this country. That appointment made me think real hard. I also did not get a chance to read or hear a buzz within Sancharika Samuha on its online site. How come, we don't have a single journalists working within or outside of Sancharika Samuha to raise voice against that appointment ?  I really wonder why ?

Had it been in any other country, chances are very high that Mrs Sharma would have to resign from her position for such appointment. This appointment is the mocking of women rights, abuse of power and keeping her sight way out of track when the real action was needed from her establishment Just then, she sided with the journalist who diverted the whole discourse in media. It diverted people demanding punishment for culprit to suddenly sympathizing him as the ‘poor man’ was rejected due to his lower caste. Why no  journalists [ does she really has to be a female/journalist ?] raised their voice, when Sangita the victim and the Jiban BK case was so swiftly overturned  by the power of pen of a seasoned journalist who has so strong pen and opinion.

When I read that article, I was stunned. His appointment was equally stunning, but, may be that was not enough. What is more interesting to pay attention here was, Mr. Luitel left the team of Sancharika Samuha in less than 35 days to join Nagarik as its editor around May 2015. No other person could find better way to slap on the face of feminist journalists as well as women right activists than Mr Luitel, which he did with his two act, back to back. I really wonder why, no one raised a voice about this also ?  And how come Mrs Sharma can ignore the whole episode and yet appoint him as the editor of a Sancharika online which main objective is to raise voice for women's rights ? How come the mutilated face of Sangeeta Pulami Magar did not haunted the President of the Sancharika Samuha when she shook hands with the journalist who diverted the whole discourse in  media.

Was that because the journalists [all female] in Sancharika did not wanted to lose friendship with Mr. Luitel. Or this also could be, they wanted to keep the road open for future posting when they leave this alternative media to join mainstream media ? Can these journalists be trusted to raise voice for women’s right, when the voiceless need them to raise voice for them ? I seriously doubt so.

You may want to call  it freedom of speech, some of you may call it perspective. We know it very well, there is vast difference between a perspective and a logic, and when a logic goes in the wrong path then the accident happens in society. Therefore, I call it logic lost. And when people think of limited people's benefit over the mass interest, then the logic will always be lost.

Note : This article has already been published in Samhita, Chaitra 2072 [March-April 2016]. This is a trimester magazine published by Press Council Nepal.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Logical Error - I

Recently, I met a  brilliant young man who accidentally introduced me to the combination of word logical error, which he faces in his computer programming. In this case, every code is right but nothing works in programming. Hearing that something clicked in my brain because this is what I have been failing to get in media by many of our well experienced journalists,  not just the fresh one who lose sight from the main topic. When pointed out they argue back this is what is his or her perspective.

Long time back, when I was working in advertising agency I have been clearly explained by an expert in this matter, the difference between literature and a mass communication. It is believed that in literature, if many people gets a different angle after reading a story line that is regarded as a plus point of the writer however, if a person can communicate one message to millions of the people exactly the way one is trying to convey, then that person is a successful communicator.

Me, not being a literary figure and not having keen interest in this field, I smell something fishy in many people being able to see one sequence from ten different angles. This simply fails to convince me; unless the writer, did not get it clearly and then have no option but to say, ‘yes’ you get it right to all those  people who read it and get it as they wish. Agreed, literature is not that simple like math equation which has just one answer and another answer makes it totally wrong. But, I would like to leave this argument here because in this article, I am going to focus on logical error in mass communication and how bad impact it can have in the long run if a journalist derails from the main topic.

‘He is dying and she can't afford the daily bills of the hospital’, a woman had approached Bijay Kumar as he was waiting to see a doctor for his Buddhist guru. The woman went on to plead him, ‘would you please request the doctors here to pull the plug from him, so that she [the dying man’s wife] can take him to her home where he can die peacefully’. Although, he felt sorry for the woman, he was confused with this type of request. In that very dazed state of mind, he went to talk to Dr. Makaju, the dean of the hospital in Dhulikhel. However, Dr. Makaju was not convinced with the kind of request Bijay Kumar entered in his office. The doctor even challenged him asking, who are you to tell me who will die or not ? After some talk hospital management agreed to keep the patient without it costing to the family and a letter was handed over to his wife, freeing her from the financial burden. This is a scene I picked from the book Khushi by Bijay Kumar.

He writes further down, seeing in the eyes of the woman made him feel close to seeing a god; who felt so thankful for being freed from paying hefty bills for her dying husband; she thought, would not survive. However, Bijay kumar fails to appreciate the adamant nature of Dr. Makaju and his colleagues for their determination to save the dying man and lifting the expensive method to keep him alive that cost hospital management for decision like this. This is the reason, the woman was ready to pull the plug from her husband.

Is poverty makes our journalist so blind  that he can't even see the logic from right angle ? Just because we are poor, does that mean we should always sympathize to the cruelty of poverty gripen steps our folks takes, like this woman was about to.  Sympathy to this woman fails to impress me because instead of trying to do everything possible from her might like knocking all the doors to raise funds so that; she can save her dying husband. She opted for the easiest way out and begs a famous journalist to pull the plug. Should we sympathize her decision to pull the plug from the machine who could live given a chance just because she has no money ?  How come he did not see the side Dr. Makaju saw and was fighting for even though patient like him will always be on waiting list. This also meant he was ready to bear the brunt of the high cost to keep alive a dying man, who is not even related remotely to this Dr. with a hope, that there is a slightest chance, he might live. How this is different than the man who smothered and then buried his two young daughters on the river bank, which we read some time back in our news ? When he was interrogated he cried foul saying that he was so poor could not afford the rising cost. Is not this a crime ?

At this point, I remember watching him in his famous talk show Dishanirdesh years ago. I can't remember the name of the Doctor, but then he was interviewing the Dean of Patan Hospital. At one point the doctor said, there are times when we see a patient we think will live because their sickness is not serious enough but then, they die and there are times we give up hope on saving some patient and yet they leave hospital in due course of time and live long enough to surprise us. As a doctor I am sure Dr. Makaju must have seen that fact, and worked at his level best to save the unknown man. Maybe this is the kind of patience who would have died despite doctors seeing all reports of of survival chance. How, I mean how come Bijay Kumar can derail from the main track and take a whole wrong path to find happiness ? is this because Dr. Makaju was a good fighter and challenged this hard hitting journalist compared to that woman who was begging with him ? his logic could be anything but I totally failed to get his logic.  I see  logical error in Mr Kumar's finding khushi in a potential killer's eyes.

But, what Dr. Makaju did for the woman and the dying man after his talk, reminded me a line from another book, The fourth Dimension by Dr. Paul yonggi Cho, a christian religious guru and international inspirational speaker. He writes in his book that word is GOD. That is the reason when Bijay Kumar had words with Doctors it raised the chances of saving a dying man. That’s why we in the media must speak and write because we do not know who, when, why, how and where our words might save lives.

Every country needs influential religious guru to guide it. Education, entertainment, economy boom in all sector or the media and government alone can not help to guide it to the right path; but we have gurus who find comfort in quietness of cage or beautiful places in jungles surrounded by rich and famous people than preaching the common mass. Bijay Kumar appreciates a famous Buddhist monk spending 30 years of his life in isolation in cage. This is so different than the religious gurus from west like Norman Vincent Peale, Paul Yonggi Cho and Loren Cunningham who travel relentlessly and speak in front of big mass  that will touch life and all of them have written many books that helps to offer some answers to the confused mass. Those books do have power to shape any society. I being a Nepali have not  got a chance to read a good book from our religious guru. Sure, we read here and there that they serve the rich and famous who have lost it in mid ways. I did not get it well, do we really have to be rich and famous like he writes in his book to meet them and hear their messages that teaches us how to live life ?  In the total mess of my country and society I yet have to see or read any religious guru[s] coming forward and uniting people. That is not the case in west. May be because we have journalist who see a good logic, when a wise [shepherd] monk finds a way out in isolation inside the cage and leaves the  mass to wonder what is going on in our society and what should we do to come out clean from such situation ?

Again, I fail to see the logic in his understanding. The result of this is very simple, just see where our country ranks in world map in many categories compared to developed countries where religious gurus keep preaching and  writing relentlessly to spread the message from God.

part II will be posted on next week.

Note : This article has already been published in Samhita, Chaitra 2072 [March-April 2016]. This is a trimester magazine published by Press Council Nepal.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Picture speaks

picture downloaded from internet

They say picture speaks a thousands word so, lets see how these picture speaks which I have in my camera. 

A couple who are the flood victim of recent months, leaving their home with their young children in search of dry place for their family

Young children reading story books in a children home in Pokhara.

army men providing security to the city

Army police on round of the parliament premises to provide security to the city during election time in nation. 

I saw this dog outside of Annapurna Hotel Durbarmarg. Some people were clicking picture after seeing it lying on the bike. I also took my camera out and started clicking some of the picture and then it gave me his majestic pose. I thing this dog likes the camera and attention people gives him.

Children washing cloths in children home here in Kathmandu

There is this children home in New Baneshwor where young girls are expected to do all the daily chores by themselves. 
Mango Tree

A perfect and lovely mango tree standing in front of the west gate of parliament building in New Baneshwor. Last year this tree was laden was delicious fruit however due to some reason unknown to me, this year; this tree is without fruit this year.

 dog found a job 

Our young dog got bored one morning and and found some job to do with the work I was doing. It took me almost an hour to redo making the wool ball again. 

Wakupati Narayan, Suryamadhi, Bhaktakpur

It seems that god is on long leave that's why the door is closed like this. See those guys playing cards inside the temple premises, they must be having hey day due to `god is on leave'.

A derelict walking on the street.