Tear of a child widow in a land of sheep

I just completed reading Seto Dharti, and being a slow reader; it took me almost a week to finish this book.  I continued reading it, even at one point I felt like, stop reading it. I don't read literature books, so it should not surprise anyone, I have read this book about two years late since it was out in the market. I have stopped reading novels since I was about seventeen. This Seto Dharti by a much hyped novelist and award winning writer Amar Neupane is my third novel after that promise which I vowed when I was still in my teen years.  Before, I go further down, I better be honest with you, I rarely do book reviews as I am not a literature lover nor a reviewer.

In the beginning, I like how it flowed. I like it, because the writer is good in his writing and he has very perfect way of telling a story. Trust me, I have to tell you this honestly, he is a very good as a writer,  smooth, gripping  and flawless in his story telling. There is nothing I can find to pinpoint, in terms of language or style or prose or something which has anything flawed in literature aspect. Mostly, I like it because the local dialect, the character has had grew up speaking, sounds so amusing, almost music to my ear when I spoke it loudly when I was reading it. I had cried, after long time, ever since I was a schoolgirl. She had lived such a tragic and teary life.

At the same time, I can write here so confidently that this book will never help a single widow, to gather her up and live her life, even after her man dies at any age. This book absolutely fails in that matter, even though this will keep spinning money selling the tears of a widow - a child widow.

However, as a feminist and a human being, seeking answer and justice in life, I unconsciously hoped, one day this young widow will be picked up by a good hearted gentle-man, to make her his wife; that did not happen. I secretly hoped, one day her father will tell her to live her life a little more than just a domestic maid or merely growing up like vegetables and doing everything that is humanly possible. Sadly, that did not happen. I thought, may be her mother loves her and cares for her so much. So, one day she will take some steps that may be not liked by her community members, but right for her young girl future to do something more than keeping her in her home, as an extra pair of working hand. Instead, she kept a sharp eyes on her hormonal change in her body and told her ruthlessly to hide her budding youth. Her parents were senseless to tell her to limit her outgoings during her youth days, because she might attract men who are out there. they were so animal like to infuse in her young mind they might harm you. What a poison filling in her youthful mind for opposite sex !

As book kept flowing, I also secretly wished, there will be somebody in her society, who will do something in her community for the young widow[s], to tell her to live her life, and move on in life despite the death of her husband.

Instead, she was infused in her young mind to feel that, she is a bad luck and her sight in auspicious occasions brings bad luck anywhere she goes. No man [woman] stood in this society for her, so that she is allowed to go out from home and then she can study. Still, I am surprised no women resented it. Interestingly though, they did not stop loving them either and I really wonder why ? Or perhaps, because, he is the protector, provider and possessor. That put him in a position to make rules for her ? this is really pathetic. The harsh ruled that forced her to live life without another marriage after the death of her husband[so called]. However, this very society did not barred a 51 year old widower to marry a girl, who is only eleven years old [no this should not rage me]. This young age girls was the same age of the son this old man had married and was ten years younger than his widow daughter, who was staying with him, yet; that rule for her never changed.

At this point, I would like to draw my readers attention to the real life practices that was very common in Bahun family. This you can see in the book China Harayeko Manche by Hari Bansha Acharya. In the very beginning of the book he talks about the wide age gap between his two parents. She was 13 and he was 53, when they were married. You should read the book further to know, how the writer tells you about his mother's death. Its another sad teary story of her life. Although, she was still under 40 years old she died which made Hari Bansha Acharya and his sisters orphaned. She died of serious complications in her ovary. New research tells us now, how such child marriage and she becoming mother at very young age damage her health. If you pay close attention to this novel or the real life you can see mostly women were needed nothing more than to give birth and as free domestic maid. All  at the cost of her precious life. I told you this story, because this Seto Dharti is based on part truth and part reality of widow who belonged to a family of a Bahun based in Pokhara.

Back to the book we are talking about, no woman in this society came forward to ask,  why a dying old widower can marry a girl who could have been his daughter and why a young widow was never allowed to marry again ? This was very same question no man ever raised, as he was allowed to marry if his wife dies and that number was not limited to him. Strange, why there was no single woman to resent it ? Why then, there were no women to ask them, why it did not apply to the widower, whose karma was telling him not to marry again and again ? Then, it's at that point I get it; why the book is given a symbolic name of Seto Dharti [whiteland]. In a symbolic way it was the land of sheep - a meek animal which never resent, which remain in herd and no one goes out of the herd. If one leaves the track, everyone follow the one. Sheeps are way easy to tame compared to other animals.

In New Zealand, a country of natural wool makers all  a sheep farmer needs is about couple of dogs to guard 1,000 sheeps. This reminded me people in the book, where no one resented; when so cruel accident happened in her life. She was always silenced with idiotic answer of ‘god's justice’,  wish of god, your karma or your fate, which is specially tailor made for her, and her only. Those harsh and ruthless rules never applied for him. She was forced to focus her young mind in god to silence the voices that was coming in her head, which wanted to enjoy life like rest of others.  Here, I also failed at this point to get it, is this why writer gave the symbolic name to this book, Seto dharti, which is filled by all white sheeps and not the white clothes of widow ?

As the novel flowed, I stilled hoped that it might tell me another story that one day she will do something, that will give her life a real meaning of living rather than accepting it nothing more than a vegetative growth. Just growing by the day and aging, yet; without doing anything what humans do under normal circumstances.  Her move to the Devghat is sad decision and not the drastic one. She went there not to change anything, it was only the change of place but it did not change her life from vegetative growth to human life. It seems I was searching humans in the book and did not find one.

For a moment, lets forget I am feminist whose subconscious mind was seeking something what was not written in that book. But, I am human being first, only then I am a feminist; not the vise versa. So, what normal human do under such circumstances ?  What we know about them is they think. If there is problem, they seek solutions within the problem. That thinking and taking steps accordingly, will change the course of life. This our thinking brain, is the single most powerful thing on earth that makes us human being and our capability to think during odd hour and situation like this is what makes us superior than rest of the creatures on earth. But, I did not see anyone in that book telling me this was a story coming from a human society. Well fine, sometimes, if they don't do anything then they resent the condition they are thrown at, I did not see this young widow Tara* - the single source of the real life character whose one encounter with the writer made him write this book and the rest of all the characters - did anything, that can put them under humans bracket, well unless you are mistaken them with they look they wore but not the brain they carry.   

When I say resenting, I definitely do not mean the way that another free spirited young widow named Pabitra shown resenting it in a ‘rebellious’ way.  That was the writer’s imagination which took him only that far, and I see it's a mockery to the young widow. Needless to tell you, that constipated imagination of his almost made me puke ! The big question is, how come his imagination could not take him much farther than Pabitra living her life under anonymous names and doing mostly undignified works, who resented being widowed at that innocent age ? Interestingly though, writer is not judgmental of her choice of life. But, this is pure insult towards the life of a young widows. I can see, he made mistake in his imagination. It's like silent insult, and an insult is an insult; even if it comes in silent form.

It took me to the story of mahabharat. Like the men who were present in the royal court did not say a word against Duryodhan and other men when Draupadi was being striped by them. They can't escape saying they did not do anything to cause it. The point is, no one in that royal court stood up in her favour to stop it. I read Osho somewhere who has said  about it that every men in that room wanted to see her nude thats why they did not raise voice in her favor. But, then again; the question is does that reaction of Osho bring back the lost dignity of Draupadi ? Has that helped any other women in trouble to drape her lost dignity ? again the answer is, No.

Ever since I read this book [also mahabharat] my respect for the so called pandits of our society changed drastically. Because, those pandits who imposed harsh rule to that young girl was heartless and ruthlessly. Every men and women were cruel and insensitive to her feelings, needs, and emotion but, at the same time; this same ‘rule maker’ was very liberal to ‘his’ needs and feelings. This made me think more and more. I wonder why people failed to see it what I could not ignore at all after reading it ?

I told you in the very beginning, I don't read novels or book of literature, because I don't like the world of fiction. I read to understand life not to cry.   Crying may clean our emptiness, but just like the book it won't offer us any solutions for future. Not surprisingly soon, I reach the point that made me feel I should not read it further. I read it even at one point I felt like, stop reading it.

When I posted my thought on my facebook wall, my readers argued back, it's the reflection of mirror, its the story of our society. Ok lets agree with that part, but it's a half truth and more fiction right and we can't deny it. Thats where the writer failed to get it, in his way to imagination. I can see he stuck up in deadlock and got lost in real world chained by rules and law.

But, literature is never bound to the strict rule and law and writer agrees with this, which I read in almost at the end of this book. And that's the point that reminded me of the world of sheep who just obeyed and did everything that was said by some people who they respected blindly. Here at this point, I must mention one thing about this writer. He has been mentioned in the book China Harayeko Manche. It is he who had convinced Hari Bansha Acharya to marry and marry a widow, so that; he can set a role model to this society. My subconscious mind was seeking that man who wanted to break the shackle of society and in return he gave us the Pabitra who ended up life in brothel and then she learned life better and became wise sleeping with men, one day she was wiser than the swamis who were veterans of ved and what not who preached in ashrams.

What a coincidence, when I was reading the book, somebody just floated a link of Nepal ko Bahunbad. It was a study by a PHD holder Dr. Krishna Bhattachan. That work really helped me to see this story from a whole different angle. Why nothing changed in that story ? Why he was telling us this story ? why he picked this story. Her sorry and pathetic condition must have made him write this book but if her story can't help anyone then why even we know her story ? Fine, he cant help the one whose life is already like the setting sun but then what is the intention of the book if it can't help a single widow in future and what about another young widow ? All he needed her is to help him to give him name and fame ? Her story is nothing more than his bread and butter like our women right activists, who raise voice for widows, only their teary story can bring them lavish lifestyle ?

This is also the story of a society, that lacks there is no woman, grandmother, mother, daughter, sister or aunty who dared to break a single law that chained them. Every girl/woman was treated like a free domestic maid and no one resented it. No grandmother and mother and a wife tried to change it. No man loved a mother/wife/daughter so much he send her  school or college like men were sent.  Just if in case, if she becomes a young widow she won't have to live a life of domestic helper all her life, even if in her home, but she can be a teacher, social worker, or anything she wanted go be. Instead, women were needed to take care of men - as free domestic maid. It was the time, when all she had two choice, either home or brothel [ is that's far the writers imagination can take him ?] or the river bank waiting for death. It pressed me to think more. Are we living in very primitive age almost stone age ? I thought, it's the story of an era where humans were as good as animals, when they used to live in group, just like the herd of animals, instead of single home and did not let their brain to think to change strict rules imposed upon them. But it was not the story of that far age !

However, none of them were taught to take 'the step' in life that feels right as being a human. How blinded by fear of religion and philosophy. They only obeyed the strict rules imposed on them in the name of god, to maintain the good girl image and culture.  When the writer all he could think and imagine is a prostitute could only think of the work prostitution to that open minded young widow Pabitra,and then at the later part of her life ending in ashram as mata. Worse than that, I resent it that almost all the characters ended up in ashram and Devghat. As if life do not have other purpose in between old age and death. As if, all of us are waiting for death - as described by eastern philosophy. As if,  we can't use our sad and bad experience in life to help others with a hope that, what I have seen and been the new generatio should not face such harsh and brutal reality of life.

Like  at one point my heart broke, reading when during her first period - which is so natural phase every girls has to go through in her life - how badly and cruel way she was treated with her in-laws. Such brutality can squeeze tears from everyone who reads it. But,  why she did not  wanted to devote her life teaching young girls about it telling them this is very natural and every girl goes through this in our life. She also could have shared her experience with others openly in her close knit circle of girls/women, it has direct relation with life creation also. For such natural process of life, no girl should not be treated with such cruelty, therefore such beating for over bleeding needs to he slammed without an ounce of shyness. But that punishment also was used  in the book only to squeeze tears from readers. Period is still a taboo in our society specially in bahuns circle and her life spending on the river bank is no use to any young girl to learn from her sad experience.

A writer's brain travels in all direction and can reach there, where even sun can't reach but then why some tell you just the story of society saying it's the reflection of society I am showing you ?

Perhaps for this very reason,  I now have more disgust in my heart for the  fear of rebirth, waiting death in the river banks, not having guts to live life beyond the rules imposed on us  and worse not resenting it when they impose the meaningless rules on us in the name of god. The real God do not want to punish us for our innocent and harmless mistakes. Some so called pandits made these rules, making her life miserable and they do it keeping in mind, benefits of only the handful people; mostly preserving all the rights to bahuns circle only. They made  the law and enjoyed seeing it, those who abided it; when they keep all the loopholes safe for themselves.

They went for harsher rules for those who resented such ruling like the hell, burning in fire in hell or the worse will happen in next life, which no one have seen and been and no record of such life after death.  The living people were forced to live the life worse than the death due to such fear of unseen.

This is a story of bahun family, scripted by a bahun writer, published by bahun[s] and selected for prestigious award from the institution that is ruled by bahun. They always want to put themselves calling we are the upper cast and we make the rules for all. Dig deeper in Nepal ko Bahunbad by Dr. bhattachan and you will find some answer why they do so. Briefly, let me tell you it's nothing more than the sheer pleasure of fooling those people who never ask, why.

Are all bahun always that bad ? May be a group of them, if they are given a chance to make rules. But, just then my mind is travelling to the memory lane of a Hindi movie, I have watched long time back. Prem Rog is a story of young widow perhaps, almost the same time when Tara was living her life here in Nepal.This is one of the best movie by Raj Kapoor, he is an Indian bahun. For me a literature is the one who tells you the story from a society, but; he also adds a pinch of new age thinking and imagination of his own that can change the age old shackles of our society. A true literature helps breaks the shackle not strengthen those human made iron shackle to chain some sections of humans under sheer fear. Ok, now I get it; what my subconscious mind what seeking in that book. Our young writer Mr Neupane can only wish, I had not watched that movie, I was not fan of Mr Kapoor's work, I have not read the western philosophy and at last but not the least he could wish I am not a feminist who has a brain of a human not a sheep.

I remember reading an Indian intellect Vishal Mangalwadi, who is also a christian religious leader wrote in his book Truth and Transformation, eastern philosophy - meditation - is practiced to empty our brain not to open our minds. Not, surprisingly and that is the reason none of the character did anything that is humanly possible to help each other. For that reason this philosophy disgusted me for telling me a story of a widow without intention to help another widow. In his perfect writing, I did not find anything that will make me read him more of his work, before and after. This will be first and last from this writer. But the writer has a good heart, perhaps; I should check his book, if he changes his publisher.

Note :

Tara* is given name to protect privasy.

Nepal ko Bahunbad

Why the condition of women never change in this country ?

Some time back I found myself watching more than three dozen videos in one sitting that made my eyes bloat like anything and yet my work was not half done. Because, there were more than six dozens videos to be watched for me to get the clear view of it. Me, not being a political person, was compelled to watch all those small videos to understand what is associated with politically. Because, it was also related with women's right issue, I have no choice but to watch all those videos individually and then grasp the core collective meaning of it; even if, politics fails to grip my attention squarely. In that videos women right activists voiced their concerns about the rights of women's and wondered we have done so much in the past years and yet why this 2072 constitution is clipping the rights of women than that was more liberal in 2047 ?

Why, is the big question which a couple of women’s right activists raised, when they were given a chance to raise voice for women's rights. We all know media plays a huge role in every society to bring the much sought change. There is no doubt, this is one of the right vehicle to bring change in society. We also know that men in our society, mainly who are in mainstream media; are scared of brilliant and intelligent woman. It seems they are not comfortable when she  opens her open mouth or pen. I am sure you must have read and kept quiet when you have read about pain of periods or post pregnancy problems written by a man who is not an expert but just a journalist [man] like any other woman journalists in my country. Why the media bosses did not feel comfortable to give that job to our female journalist to pen down on subjects that is purely  ours[?], well the simple answer is he must have felt shy about it.

Well our mainstream media are biased about the issues that are related  to women. Be it her basic rights, gender issues and equal rights, VAW cases; they are simply scared to open talk about it. They view our women right activists as merely people who work only to earn dollar, as if, this is not our society’s problem but the issues of INGO or NGOs.  Realizing this, to become the collective voice of women's Sancharika Samuha was established around 1998. Well when I watch their TV show Samakone which is funded project which is viewed by men in this society, as the borrowed concept. And our society do not need such drastic changes as our society as women rights activists fights or demand for. Being a feminist, I really have decided not to pass any comments on Samakone program which is at times way of the track to find the rights of women. I really did kept myself away from passing comments on it even though they were off the track in their search to find answer, thinking being a feminist I should not raise question to others who are also raising voice for women’s right. Sometimes, some differences and some mistake needs to be ignored with wide open eyes and ears also.  

Recently, I read an article in Nagariknews by Mr. Subash Ghimire, editor Republica, how an ex-president of Harvard had to resign from his position in 2005 after his controversial speech saying one reason there are relatively few women in top positions in science may be "issues of intrinsic aptitude." The remarks were made at a small seminar on January 14. When The Boston Globe reported on the remarks -- and the anger of some women who heard them -- the comments became the focus of an international debate.

After reading this piece of article, my mind is reeling back to the time when Nirmala Sharma, President of Sancharika Samuha appointed Gunaraj Luitel as editor just after he wrote that contradicting article on Setopati. Where he twisting the whole episode of acid attack - which is a serious form of crime against VAW - into a caste base issue - which is a lot less punishable crime compared to acid attack. There was no voice raised by a single women right activist against that twisting of a case. On top of that there was this appointment to tease the women right activist or the journalist of this country. That appointment made me go what ! ? !  No women right activists/journalist within the Sancharika Samuha raised their voice on this appointment nor there was a single article on this matter in any mainstream media. How come we don't have a single journalists working within or outside of sancharika samuha to raise voice against that appointment, at least I did not read it anywhere.  I really wonder why ?

Had it been in any other country, chances are very high that she would have to resign from  her position for such appointment. Where she sided with the man who twisted the whole discourse in media. It diverted people demanding punishment for culprit to suddenly sympathy as he was rejected due to his lower caste. Why no  journalists [ does she really has to be a woman journalist ?] raised their voice, when Sangita Pulami Magar’s  the acid attack victim and the Jiban BK case was overturned so swiftly by the power of pen of a journalist who has so strong pen and opinion like Mr. Luitel.

Can he do that ? When I read that article, I was stunned. But, may be that was not enough. What is more interesting to pay attention here is, Mr luitel left the team of Sancharika Samuha in less than 30 days to join Nagarik as its editor. No other person can find better way to slap on the face of feminist journalists as well as activists on her face than Mr Luitel did so swiftly with his this two act, back to back. But then, I really wonder why, no one said a word about this also ?  And how come Mrs Sharma can ignore the whole episode and yet appoint him as the editor of a Sancharika online which main objective is to raise voice for women's rights ? Was that because the journalists [all female] in Sancharika did not wanted to lose friendship with Mr. Luitel. Or this also could be they wanted to keep the road opening for future posting when they live this alternative media to mainstream media ? Can these journalist be trusted to raise voice for women’s right, who need them to their voice ? I seriously doubt so.

What I really have not been able to ignore still is, when there are some rape news or news that is about equal right issue [currently citizenship issue] on Nagarik new site the management of the NagarikNews won't edit or delete the most filthy and degrading comments that are targeted to the rape victims, mostly on women of VAW cases. On top of that I also don't get a chance to read news or coverage raising voice on such news coverage in any other news portals that is run by feminist journalists. Why they are feeling uncomfortable to raise voice for such news also ? What stops them to tell the news site bosses not to do so ? am I the only watchdog in this country to keep eye on them ? It really leaves me wondering all the time. Still the most important point is why all the clusters of women right activist are not calling everyone to join the protest. Well where are journalist who pens on women's right issue ? And I don't have a slightest trust on Sancharika Samuha will make this news on priority, unless they will get  extra fund to run the news from Norwegian Embassy.

Where are women right activist ?

Ajeeta Khatiwada

Recently I read an article by Mr Jyoti Devkota in one of the online news sites. There is something in its nature which made me take part in the debate. Here is my answer to the writer as well as to those that nodded their head in agreement with the writer that it's solely a women's right activists' duty to give respect and justice to all those women, who are disrespected, degraded, exploited and have to face hardship in life. One comment from Durga Shrestha read like this: "डलरे हरुलाई अली घोच्छ यो लेखले। [It will offend those that earn dollars]" - a satire to those that work in NGOs as women right activist. So, I asked him, "तपाईले के भन्न खोज्नु भएको हो मलाई अचम्म लाग्यो। [what are you trying to say, I'm surprised]"?

Rest of my response in relation to the same article is as follows. "Suzata Hamal ji, I do not completely agree with your accusation here. I think Sunita Giri ji is raising some good points here. If you read the whole article this article focuses more on the pain of the family (particularly that of father) on having a physically disabled daughter than the pain of the individual herself. Just the fact that this article focuses on the image of the father was already making me feel uncomfortable about the whole situation. Even when the rape incident is described, the way the writer describes the situation is evident that she had to endure all of the consequences alone. At a face of injustice inflicted on their family member, how could they afford to worry about saving their face? How selfish is that? This is the mentality that runs over much of South Asian families, and this is exactly the reason why so many rape cases go unreported because rape is not treated as any other crime. In other crimes, it's the criminals that have to be embarrassed, while in the case of rape it's the women that are shamed. And the family exacerbates the situation by trying to sweep it under the rug rather than standing up against it together with the victim. Perhaps, the problem is amplified because of the physical disability of the person in question, but it surely is not just a problem of physically disabled women in Nepal. This is a perfect example of how women are treated in our society.


Parents' responsibility doesn't end with giving birth, it should begin from there. But the way in which most Nepalese are brought up especially in poverty stricken and less educated families is that parents have a sense of entitlement. 'I gave you birth; hence, you have to be grateful towards me no matter how I treat you from henceforth', - this kind of mentality is very much prevalent. Somehow we are even supposed to empathize with them trying to kill their own daughter as explained in this line - "सुनेको थिएँ, पापबाट मुक्ति पाओस् भनेर लाटीलाई मुसाको दवाइ दिइएको थियो रे [I had heard that she was given a rat poison so that she could get rid of the sin]" because obviously their मुक्ति [salvation] from the पाप [sin] is the most important. Where was her family in all this? Why did they not arm their daughter with education? Why didn't they discard all of their shame and embarrassment and stand by their daughter/sister? Why is the writer still so much focused about their problems? Why does this article have accusational tone towards women activists when they themselves seem to have done everything sexist? Can women right activists feed a potion that eliminates all kinds of sexist mentality from every members of the society? Do they have some magic wand that they can wave and solve all the problems overnight? I don't think so. They can only function and achieve something when people of the society, and primarily the family members cooperate and extend their hands.

This article has been written with a motive, and the motive is clear. The motive of this writer is not the concern of his sister, he wants to accuse women's right activists. This is his answer to all those women that write in Setopati on women right issues. He is trying to tell them that they are not achieving anything by just talking and there are other people that need more help. I agree that the problems related to women rights are endless, and perhaps sometimes we could do better than to talk about some small issues. But the way in which people like the writer like to sit away in a corner and judge feminists while doing nothing themselves is insane. Just because his sister is born a physically disabled woman doesn't mean that he, who is an able man, cannot help her solve her problems. Women's issues are issues faced by women in our families, our societies, and all of us (men and women) have to be accountable for them. Same with people with disabilities. We have to change our own mindset first. If people like this writer are not ready to change their mindset, there is absolutely nothing women right activists or anyone can do to make the society better. So, stop blaming women right activists for things that aren't done. Just step up yourself, and do something about it if you truly care."

Teenage software Developer

Komal Poudyal

The young man, I was talking, at the corner of a restaurant; was keeping close eyes on his smartphone to check time, every ten minutes or so. After about half an hour or so later I asked him, do you have to go somewhere ? he said, yes. Where ? he said, a conference, it's a software development competition. And for that we have to be on time to login and register and then we can take part in it. Its just like being in exam hall.

Easy internet excess has made it so possible for a seventeen year old Nepali boy to take part in international conferences anywhere it takes place, that otherwise would not have been possible to take part in. He  can take part in this conference while still staying at home. Any one can take part in it but one really has to have internet connection on their computer. Computer has changed our life upside down and we can do so many things from it.

Is this what you study in college ? I asked him. No, well, I am a student of computer science but coding and programming is not part of my study. There is vast difference in what I study in college and what I do.

Do you have any friend with whom you can talk, share and get ideas in your coding and programming ?  No, this is not something you get talking with my friends will solve my problem. If I ask a word heuristic none of my friends knows about it and they don't know where this word is used. So I can't get any help from a single person who are around me, the teenage developer responded. So, you dig internet to learn and get all the ideas to help you design your own software ? he said yes. Is that the reason you wear specs  ? May be he responded with a shy smile.

Son of a General Manager and a housewife, the boy is very normal college student in all aspect, except; he is only seventeen years old and already a computer software developer. He has been working on this project since last two years to develop an antivirus and internet security which is named after his name Komal antivirus and security software. This is first antivirus which is available in Nepali Language as well as in English. Last year, he had launched this software nationwide but this time he has modified it improving lots of earlier flaws. and that's why he is planning to to re-launch it in market within three month October- November 2015.  

A 12 grade student of Uniglobe college, next year he is hoping to join MIT in US.  A huge fan of micro soft programming, he hopes to work in Microsoft. In my short meeting with this teenage boy, I saw a complete package of successful businessman rising. So I stopped him, when he said, wants to work in micro soft. You are not the type, who will work even if you will be hired by Bill Gates, why you want to work in micro soft ?  You are right, he said. I will not want remained employed by anyone for long, but there are so many things I still can learn, for that I have to be there [micro soft].

I have never ever in my life heard a teenager so confident and with so much clarity of his future about his dream, work and passion.  I heard myself saying, you are way too smart for your age do you know that ? He did not even see in my eyes, to nod. He is confident, yet not arrogant; this is what makes this young man so special. I have become so fan of this young man and I would like to keep him on my  watch list for young and emerging software developer as well as a young businessman.

We keep reading in news that computer and easy access to internet has spoiled our young generation and use of it has done them so harm than good. Then this young man is the answer for all of them, who says so. It depends on you how you use it, make it your slave or a master, decision is yours.

Art on the wall - the unseen healing

Photo and wall paint by Sajes Tamang

I have been to Manichuood on 3rd of July. I was there as a quake volunteers  with a team of Youth  Motivation Camp. A local school have been reduced to rubble after the quake and youth action Nepal have help them build school through crowd funding on social networking sites which helped them to build one shelter TLC - Temporary Learning Center - with three classrooms. Mr. Punya Bhandari, Programme Coordinator, who took active part in this project from the very beginning starting from raising funds to involved in this work as a volunteer to do everything, so that the school gets its shelter fast and children get a chance to go to school sooner was invited by the school management for a function. It was also the day schedule for TLC handover ceremony to the school management.

It was a beautiful shelter from outside, and when I looked inside the plain wall looked just stared blankly from all sides. I thought, this would have looked better if it was painted. Back home I quietly, searched for some artist ready to volunteer for such work. Facebook made this work really easy. Couple of  young artist instantly responded. Quake hit nation, so everyone is ready to do anything for this country. Then, I shared this thought with Bhawana Bhatta, general secretary, Youth Action Nepal. She instantly liked the idea and said we can start it soon with Basu Higher Secondary School, Bhaktapur.

In the first meeting, the artist was little bit unsure of doing it, all alone, even though; he had done similar type of painting work before. We have little time to handover the completed [zink sheet] TLC, to the school management. Therefore, we started painting wall very next day of our meeting. Before that, the artist had gone to see the classroom, size of wall and also to get some idea from the school management to discuss about what kind of paintings would be better inside the classroom of young children.  

That helped artist a lot to get clear idea about the paintings, so he worked accordingly, selecting some good pictures or children.  Most of us shared first days wall painting on our post on facebook. The response from people was overwhelming. Arpan Bhuju, civil engineer, who is leading this particular project from the very beginning, visited to see the work. When we reach almost the final work of a wall, then he shared with me, I was not convinced about it when I heard about it in the beginning but after seeing it, I have to  admit I was wrong about it. Its so good and unlike other rebuild and reconstruction this a lot different yet it has lasting impact in the mind of child. Hearing that made me feel good about it.

Bhuju, the engineer is involved in many other construction works as a leader that is going on under the banner of Youth Action Nepal, which primarily focus on TLC. So, I asked him, will you make this a prime part of all your construction from now on when you build schools  ? Yes, was his answer. That approval meant a lot for me to come up a new solution to heal young children of quake hit nation, in a way; that do not necessarily mean to spent lots of money on it.

One of the team member was telling me that, with this cost which we spend on this painting could have allowed  to buy one bundle of zink sheet that would have been more useful for other projects. Do you also think this painting just added ‘extra expenses’ on this budget TLC ? what is your take on that comment, I asked this to Bhawana Bhatta. I was really curious to know her opinion on it. Of Course, we need shelter as primary need, she said  and further added, but; there should be no comparison between the cost of shelter over our head and the art on wall. Music, art and sports have different and unseen way of connecting and healing people in every society. Everyone need mental shelter as much as roof over our head. One does not diminish the importance of other in anyway, because these are absolutely different things.

 from left the artist - Sajes Tamang, Sunita Giri, Kanchan Bhattarai, Arpan Bhuju and Roshan Nepal

There is no doubt, we all seem to be agreeing on one point, that this art on the wall, can do more than what meets eyes. It can do more than a group of adult counselors visiting  school and running a counselling session or telling them to paint the thought on a blank paper. When they see it daily in their classroom, they will go home after school and then they will do it without being told. This art piece will inspire them, encourage them and entertain them that too without using a single word. There is this famous saying, a picture speaks a thousand language. If that is true, then a wall painting can tell a story that is possible after using ten thousands words.

When the wall got finishing touch from the artist, it was not what I could have envisioned in my mind, staring at blank and boring walls. It was a hundred times better than what I have thought after seeing the plain walls of a school in Manichood. The programme coordinator was telling me all the way about its lovely scenes and fresh air and the power it can have in our mind. Maybe he is right about that fresh air, but I think its the blank walls that was inviting anyone [not just me] to write something, paint something on it. So, this way I must say my visit to manhood have been fruitful to get an idea that may help a society.

One single organisation can't do this work alone, to paint all the school walls of young children. If, lots of other people get inspired to paint art on blank walls, then it will be a way to help a bigger society through art.  Because, this is an invisible way of healing and educating children.  Therefore, I would like to urge more people to get inspired from this. How lovely it would be if everyone who are in rebuild and reconstruction paints the wall for school children.

I am very hopeful there will be days, painting wall of school children's classroom will be a prime focus of education board Members, school principals and educators around the nation and all of them will come up with bigger and better ideas to get the attention of children, when it comes to connect them through art and creativity.

My special thanks to artist, Sajes Tamang for giving me more than what I could see with my eyes. All you needed is five days and four helping hands to show us how the mind of artist works. That's why artists are needed to include  in rebuild and reconstruction of the  quake hit nation.

Creative Healing

And, I was hypnotized.

This was my first experience of being hypnotized. No, they did not use pendulum to hypnotize me, they played music to send me in my deep consciousness. Let me put it clear about this art of hypnotism, for some reason I am not much sure of it. Oh, should I be more precise here ? the Indian way of hypnotism is what I have

Hypnotism is the knowledge to tap our subconscious mind. Very few can practice it on their own and most needs to be helped by others. It's understood that we need to be helped by others, even though we our self can be in touch with our deeper self by gaining some knowledge about the subconscious mind and autosuggestion.  I have had some reservations for eastern way of practicing the art of hypnotizing to reach our inner self. I agree, not all are misusing it, but majority are not using it properly either. Thus my deep inhibition about it. Indians are practicing it as  secret art, when other Asians and westerns are sharing it by writing good books to tap your inner power. My best pick on this is, The Fourth Dimension by Dr. Paul Yonggi Cho. I don't like dark side of it which I keep seeing, being the topic of top Indian TV show CID or other crime shows. I always thought why such dark art was not censored as it gives really bad idea to the wide circle of viewers.

Its interesting to know thought that how easy it is to some who have gained knowledge about it and how easily it can be practiced without we even knowing about it. well that's what happened in my case.

Hypnotism through music : To be honest, I am not much of a music lover like so many of you. But, last Sunday at Youth Action Nepal office, we, a group of Quake Volunteers got a chance to experience a creative healing - through music. It was kind of channeling our energy for better result in our everyday life and work. For that, relaxing our mind was as vital as eating food for life. Relaxing is not always meant taking a good night sleep, as some get it. Relaxing also means getting rid of all the negative forces from our head which is keep bothering us even when we are sleeping. Its not that easy to do it in real life as it may sound to read in words. But, that healing through music seemed too easy to do this work, and that is really seemed a magical art. Sunni from Australia and her local team was there to give us this experience and they were telling us that a healer from Philippine was here after the quake to heal the country after the earthquake.

When I was being hypnotized, I did not even know what the music had such strong effect on me [and others]. first, we were told to lie down on floor, letting our hands and legs in free flow. close our eyes. Breath slowly. A member of the healers team said it's for relaxing your mind and body. In the beginning one member of the creative healing group was saying us to breath in and breath out, go deep in your body and trust in ourselves; when we look us from within. The music was played very slow and almost no existing. It did not even sounded like music for couple of minutes. But slowly it became louder and lower and mostly it contained the natural sound like the waterfall or the sound of wind and other such sounds that soothes our mind in a matter of moment, without we consciously realizing it.

If I am not mistaken, this must be the music composed by Enigma, as it has some signature mark on it. As I was under the hypnotism so, wont be able to give you much about the music in detail, one thing for sure it has mixed eastern musical instruments with natural sounds that was played well to soothe our mind and body at the same time. Members of the team were speaking in rotation in calm and low voice, guiding us to visit our inner self. When we were lying there, like that and music was playing; the healers slowly put their hands on our body parts sometimes it could be head with a finger softly pressed on the center of forehead where women put tika. Some times they pressed our belly, chest and touched legs at the gap of about 10 minutes from each body parts they worked on. At one moment, one of the healer raised my hand and moved it slowly in round motion.. He/she had done it so slowly that I don't even figure it out fast, it's been touched and moved.

I paid close attention to this move of my hand that was moving. I appointed my conscious mind to pay attention to my unconscious mind, what is my hand is doing ?  When it was moved in round motion and left after couple of slow motion moves by the healer. It just kept moving in round motion for more than two minutes or may be more. It was amazing, how it was moving on its own, without the consent of my conscious mind; even if I was fully conscious and paying close attention to that move, thinking should I stop it now or let it move and watch how long it keeps moving.

When I wanted to stop it, I found out I can.

However it was not the same case with Sujita, a fresh pass out nurse from college, whose hand kept moving until it was slowly left by the Healing member. What is interesting to pay attention here is, she was not the only one whose hands was moving in the same direction which they would not have been able to continue, if their conscious mind was alert. Had that been done in their conscious state, they would have felt the pain in their hands but as they were in unconscious mind so they did not felt pain, even if, it was moving for more than 20 minutes as shared by the healers later on with us.

The music was slow in the beginning,  it was loud in between and the healers were moving the sound from one end of the room to other end and one side to other. Sound was traveling on all directions, so it had the same effect in our mind. When we were called back from the spellbound of music, it came to the same sound as it was started in the beginning for about five minutes may be more and slowly we were told to come back to our conscious self.

Once the session was finished we were given a blank sheet of white paper and a crayons to draw on it. We were also encouraged to share our thought on this. A couple of participants said they were feeling so heavy on head. Deepa wanted to know why she felt she was feeling the tremor on earth and felt her whole body was moving like she felt during earthquake.

As far as I am concerned this creative healing energized me and recharged all my energy thoroughly and I felt relaxed. I knew, it was the music that did tremendous work  one me than the healers, that's what I told them when my turn came. Needless to tell you,  I told them give me that music.

It was such a refreshing meditation - if we can use the word meditation here - that, now; I want to learn everything about it and more than that I want that music in my computer, mobile and pen drive. I really want to be the bundle of energy to move everywhere to infect everyone with good vibe that flows from me.

I would like to thank The Hub and Sunni Dawson, the main organizer of this one hour session.

Five statistics that blew my mind

Around 2013 Rakchya Nepal, an NGO did some survey in many dance bars, cabin restaurants, Dohori restaurant guesthouse and massage parlors. Here in Nepal, these places are regarded as ‘entertainment sector’. Menuka Thapa, Chairwoman Rakshya Nepal estimates there are about 40,000 young girls and women and who are working in 1000 restaurants in Kathmandu. The focus group of this survey was 500 girls and women. The data of this report is included in the a that was published on its 10th anniversary.

1. 98.5% them responded that flesh trade should not be legalized. This contradicts of notion which believes, they want to be in this profession because they can earn fast cash in this profession than other work area. Its learned that, many of them are doing this job due to lack of other job opportunities, which helps them to pick their bill. This is also revealed that this number was increased due to the maobadi war in country.

2. 92% visitors in this entertainment sectors are from Police and Army, whose age range from 31 to 50. People talk in hushed tone in this country they have no trust and respect for our army and police; this survey reveals exactly why. There are people who try to reason, police and army personnel are separated from their partners for long time, which makes them sexually starved all the time. No wonder, they visit Thamel area for their physical needs. This has other side effect, if some girls who are forced in this sector want to move out they can't expect help from these men in power. In case, of exploitation they can't think of going to police stations to complain about the same. Insider talks its army personnel, who are running many such restaurants in Kathmandu. No, wonder client can visit the place without fear of raid from police because they know who are there to protect them.  They don't  earn better in this work, because of the nature of their client. They force them to have relationship with them and if they refuse police will threaten them to raid the particular restaurant. Its a tug of war between power houses and she is in the middle to suffer.

3. 90.5% girls and women are doing this work because there is no single earning member in their family. Had there been an earning member they would not have landed up in flesh trade. Male member of the family were forced to join Maobadi or leave country in search of job if they did not wanted to join Maobadi and this left only female and children in home. So she is the sole breadwinner of her family.

4. 87.5% girls and women who are in this sector do not tell their family members they are in this profession or what is the nature of their work. Most of these girls and women are from other cities of Kathmandu, who landed here in search of job. Because, she keeps her job secret from her family members; so her health issue is at big risk. With little knowledge of AIDS and STD and other related health issues.

5. 86% girls and women responded they stay in Thamel area and only 14% in other areas, surrounding thamel.

Its not that nothing have been done and no steps have been taken to help these vulnerable group of girls and women who are in this work force. Many have been trained in many work and  resettled back in society. Rakshya Nepal is doing lots to help in this area. Providing many types of skill development training to help those who were forced in flesh trade.

Hard time and poverty is what pushing our girls in this flesh trade, to stop huge number to go in and reduce the number of girls/women from so called entertainment sector in the years to come. Let's say about 1000 girls out from this sector every year and doubling that number every year. Lets put it this way, in the first year 1000 girls/woman will be out from entertainment sector and then in second year 2000, next there will be 3000, 4000 and  in 5th year 5000 girls will be out and resettled in society. By the end of 5th year, 15,000 will be out and resettled in society in five years time. And the biggest challenge for us is to stop the same number of girls/woman to enter that work force, unless they chose to be there with all her conscience. That's her right.

No doubt for that we have to have something big to think and work on it. What can we do to stop more girls and women from internal trafficking that will put them in more vulnerable condition to be displaced in other countries ? As news sources tells us many of the restaurant owners and manpower agencies are also involved in human trafficking, having link to Kenya and other countries.

They should start a business that will keep them together for a sole motto to self help and help each other.  So what can be that product ?