Saturday, September 5, 2015

Tear of a child widow in a land of sheep

I just completed reading Seto Dharti, and being a slow reader; it took me almost a week to finish this book.  I continued reading it, even at one point I felt like, stop reading it. I don't read literature books, so it should not surprise anyone, I have read this book about two years late since it was out in the market. I have stopped reading novels since I was about seventeen. This Seto Dharti by a much hyped novelist and award winning writer Amar Neupane is my third novel after that promise which I vowed when I was still in my teen years.  Before, I go further down, I better be honest with you, I rarely do book reviews as I am not a literature lover nor a reviewer.


In the beginning, I like how it flowed. I like it, because the writer is good in his writing and he has very perfect way of telling a story. Trust me, I have to tell you this honestly, he is a very good as a writer,  smooth, gripping  and flawless in his story telling. There is nothing I can find to pinpoint, in terms of language or style or prose or something which has anything flawed in literature aspect. Mostly, I like it because the local dialect, the character has had grew up speaking, sounds so amusing, almost music to my ear when I spoke it loudly when I was reading it. I had cried, after long time, ever since I was a schoolgirl. She had lived such a tragic and teary life.


At the same time, I can write here so confidently that this book will never help a single widow, to gather her up and live her life, even after her man dies at any age. This book absolutely fails in that matter, even though this will keep spinning money selling the tears of a widow - a child widow.


However, as a feminist and a human being, seeking answer and justice in life, I unconsciously hoped, one day this young widow will be picked up by a good hearted gentle-man, to make her his wife; that did not happen. I secretly hoped, one day her father will tell her to live her life a little more than just a domestic maid or merely growing up like vegetables and doing everything that is humanly possible. Sadly, that did not happen. I thought, may be her mother loves her and cares for her so much. So, one day she will take some steps that may be not liked by her community members, but right for her young girl future to do something more than keeping her in her home, as an extra pair of working hand. Instead, she kept a sharp eyes on her hormonal change in her body and told her ruthlessly to hide her budding youth. Her parents were senseless to tell her to limit her outgoings during her youth days, because she might attract men who are out there. they were so animal like to infuse in her young mind they might harm you. What a poison filling in her youthful mind for opposite sex !


As book kept flowing, I also secretly wished, there will be somebody in her society, who will do something in her community for the young widow[s], to tell her to live her life, and move on in life despite the death of her husband.


Instead, she was infused in her young mind to feel that, she is a bad luck and her sight in auspicious occasions brings bad luck anywhere she goes. No man [woman] stood in this society for her, so that she is allowed to go out from home and then she can study. Still, I am surprised no women resented it. Interestingly though, they did not stop loving them either and I really wonder why ? Or perhaps, because, he is the protector, provider and possessor. That put him in a position to make rules for her ? this is really pathetic. The harsh ruled that forced her to live life without another marriage after the death of her husband[so called]. However, this very society did not barred a 51 year old widower to marry a girl, who is only eleven years old [no this should not rage me]. This young age girls was the same age of the son this old man had married and was ten years younger than his widow daughter, who was staying with him, yet; that rule for her never changed.


At this point, I would like to draw my readers attention to the real life practices that was very common in Bahun family. This you can see in the book China Harayeko Manche by Hari Bansha Acharya. In the very beginning of the book he talks about the wide age gap between his two parents. She was 13 and he was 53, when they were married. You should read the book further to know, how the writer tells you about his mother's death. Its another sad teary story of her life. Although, she was still under 40 years old she died which made Hari Bansha Acharya and his sisters orphaned. She died of serious complications in her ovary. New research tells us now, how such child marriage and she becoming mother at very young age damage her health. If you pay close attention to this novel or the real life you can see mostly women were needed nothing more than to give birth and as free domestic maid. All  at the cost of her precious life. I told you this story, because this Seto Dharti is based on part truth and part reality of widow who belonged to a family of a Bahun based in Pokhara.


Back to the book we are talking about, no woman in this society came forward to ask,  why a dying old widower can marry a girl who could have been his daughter and why a young widow was never allowed to marry again ? This was very same question no man ever raised, as he was allowed to marry if his wife dies and that number was not limited to him. Strange, why there was no single woman to resent it ? Why then, there were no women to ask them, why it did not apply to the widower, whose karma was telling him not to marry again and again ? Then, it's at that point I get it; why the book is given a symbolic name of Seto Dharti [whiteland]. In a symbolic way it was the land of sheep - a meek animal which never resent, which remain in herd and no one goes out of the herd. If one leaves the track, everyone follow the one. Sheeps are way easy to tame compared to other animals.


In New Zealand, a country of natural wool makers all  a sheep farmer needs is about couple of dogs to guard 1,000 sheeps. This reminded me people in the book, where no one resented; when so cruel accident happened in her life. She was always silenced with idiotic answer of ‘god's justice’,  wish of god, your karma or your fate, which is specially tailor made for her, and her only. Those harsh and ruthless rules never applied for him. She was forced to focus her young mind in god to silence the voices that was coming in her head, which wanted to enjoy life like rest of others.  Here, I also failed at this point to get it, is this why writer gave the symbolic name to this book, Seto dharti, which is filled by all white sheeps and not the white clothes of widow ?


As the novel flowed, I stilled hoped that it might tell me another story that one day she will do something, that will give her life a real meaning of living rather than accepting it nothing more than a vegetative growth. Just growing by the day and aging, yet; without doing anything what humans do under normal circumstances.  Her move to the Devghat is sad decision and not the drastic one. She went there not to change anything, it was only the change of place but it did not change her life from vegetative growth to human life. It seems I was searching humans in the book and did not find one.


For a moment, lets forget I am feminist whose subconscious mind was seeking something what was not written in that book. But, I am human being first, only then I am a feminist; not the vise versa. So, what normal human do under such circumstances ?  What we know about them is they think. If there is problem, they seek solutions within the problem. That thinking and taking steps accordingly, will change the course of life. This our thinking brain, is the single most powerful thing on earth that makes us human being and our capability to think during odd hour and situation like this is what makes us superior than rest of the creatures on earth. But, I did not see anyone in that book telling me this was a story coming from a human society. Well fine, sometimes, if they don't do anything then they resent the condition they are thrown at, I did not see this young widow Tara* - the single source of the real life character whose one encounter with the writer made him write this book and the rest of all the characters - did anything, that can put them under humans bracket, well unless you are mistaken them with they look they wore but not the brain they carry.   


When I say resenting, I definitely do not mean the way that another free spirited young widow named Pabitra shown resenting it in a ‘rebellious’ way.  That was the writer’s imagination which took him only that far, and I see it's a mockery to the young widow. Needless to tell you, that constipated imagination of his almost made me puke ! The big question is, how come his imagination could not take him much farther than Pabitra living her life under anonymous names and doing mostly undignified works, who resented being widowed at that innocent age ? Interestingly though, writer is not judgmental of her choice of life. But, this is pure insult towards the life of a young widows. I can see, he made mistake in his imagination. It's like silent insult, and an insult is an insult; even if it comes in silent form.


It took me to the story of mahabharat. Like the men who were present in the royal court did not say a word against Duryodhan and other men when Draupadi was being striped by them. They can't escape saying they did not do anything to cause it. The point is, no one in that royal court stood up in her favour to stop it. I read Osho somewhere who has said  about it that every men in that room wanted to see her nude thats why they did not raise voice in her favor. But, then again; the question is does that reaction of Osho bring back the lost dignity of Draupadi ? Has that helped any other women in trouble to drape her lost dignity ? again the answer is, No.
Ever since I read this book [also mahabharat] my respect for the so called pandits of our society changed drastically. Because, those pandits who imposed harsh rule to that young girl was heartless and ruthlessly. Every men and women were cruel and insensitive to her feelings, needs, and emotion but, at the same time; this same ‘rule maker’ was very liberal to ‘his’ needs and feelings. This made me think more and more. I wonder why people failed to see it what I could not ignore at all after reading it ?
I told you in the very beginning, I don't read novels or book of literature, because I don't like the world of fiction. I read to understand life not to cry.   Crying may clean our emptiness, but just like the book it won't offer us any solutions for future. Not surprisingly soon, I reach the point that made me feel I should not read it further. I read it even at one point I felt like, stop reading it.


When I posted my thought on my facebook wall, my readers argued back, it's the reflection of mirror, its the story of our society. Ok lets agree with that part, but it's a half truth and more fiction right and we can't deny it. Thats where the writer failed to get it, in his way to imagination. I can see he stuck up in deadlock and got lost in real world chained by rules and law.


But, literature is never bound to the strict rule and law and writer agrees with this, which I read in almost at the end of this book. And that's the point that reminded me of the world of sheep who just obeyed and did everything that was said by some people who they respected blindly. Here at this point, I must mention one thing about this writer. He has been mentioned in the book China Harayeko Manche. It is he who had convinced Hari Bansha Acharya to marry and marry a widow, so that; he can set a role model to this society. My subconscious mind was seeking that man who wanted to break the shackle of society and in return he gave us the Pabitra who ended up life in brothel and then she learned life better and became wise sleeping with men, one day she was wiser than the swamis who were veterans of ved and what not who preached in ashrams.


What a coincidence, when I was reading the book, somebody just floated a link of Nepal ko Bahunbad. It was a study by a PHD holder Dr. Krishna Bhattachan. That work really helped me to see this story from a whole different angle. Why nothing changed in that story ? Why he was telling us this story ? why he picked this story. Her sorry and pathetic condition must have made him write this book but if her story can't help anyone then why even we know her story ? Fine, he cant help the one whose life is already like the setting sun but then what is the intention of the book if it can't help a single widow in future and what about another young widow ? All he needed her is to help him to give him name and fame ? Her story is nothing more than his bread and butter like our women right activists, who raise voice for widows, only their teary story can bring them lavish lifestyle ?


This is also the story of a society, that lacks there is no woman, grandmother, mother, daughter, sister or aunty who dared to break a single law that chained them. Every girl/woman was treated like a free domestic maid and no one resented it. No grandmother and mother and a wife tried to change it. No man loved a mother/wife/daughter so much he send her  school or college like men were sent.  Just if in case, if she becomes a young widow she won't have to live a life of domestic helper all her life, even if in her home, but she can be a teacher, social worker, or anything she wanted go be. Instead, women were needed to take care of men - as free domestic maid. It was the time, when all she had two choice, either home or brothel [ is that's far the writers imagination can take him ?] or the river bank waiting for death. It pressed me to think more. Are we living in very primitive age almost stone age ? I thought, it's the story of an era where humans were as good as animals, when they used to live in group, just like the herd of animals, instead of single home and did not let their brain to think to change strict rules imposed upon them. But it was not the story of that far age !


However, none of them were taught to take 'the step' in life that feels right as being a human. How blinded by fear of religion and philosophy. They only obeyed the strict rules imposed on them in the name of god, to maintain the good girl image and culture.  When the writer all he could think and imagine is a prostitute could only think of the work prostitution to that open minded young widow Pabitra,and then at the later part of her life ending in ashram as mata. Worse than that, I resent it that almost all the characters ended up in ashram and Devghat. As if life do not have other purpose in between old age and death. As if, all of us are waiting for death - as described by eastern philosophy. As if,  we can't use our sad and bad experience in life to help others with a hope that, what I have seen and been the new generatio should not face such harsh and brutal reality of life.


Like  at one point my heart broke, reading when during her first period - which is so natural phase every girls has to go through in her life - how badly and cruel way she was treated with her in-laws. Such brutality can squeeze tears from everyone who reads it. But,  why she did not  wanted to devote her life teaching young girls about it telling them this is very natural and every girl goes through this in our life. She also could have shared her experience with others openly in her close knit circle of girls/women, it has direct relation with life creation also. For such natural process of life, no girl should not be treated with such cruelty, therefore such beating for over bleeding needs to he slammed without an ounce of shyness. But that punishment also was used  in the book only to squeeze tears from readers. Period is still a taboo in our society specially in bahuns circle and her life spending on the river bank is no use to any young girl to learn from her sad experience.


A writer's brain travels in all direction and can reach there, where even sun can't reach but then why some tell you just the story of society saying it's the reflection of society I am showing you ?


Perhaps for this very reason,  I now have more disgust in my heart for the  fear of rebirth, waiting death in the river banks, not having guts to live life beyond the rules imposed on us  and worse not resenting it when they impose the meaningless rules on us in the name of god. The real God do not want to punish us for our innocent and harmless mistakes. Some so called pandits made these rules, making her life miserable and they do it keeping in mind, benefits of only the handful people; mostly preserving all the rights to bahuns circle only. They made  the law and enjoyed seeing it, those who abided it; when they keep all the loopholes safe for themselves.


They went for harsher rules for those who resented such ruling like the hell, burning in fire in hell or the worse will happen in next life, which no one have seen and been and no record of such life after death.  The living people were forced to live the life worse than the death due to such fear of unseen.


This is a story of bahun family, scripted by a bahun writer, published by bahun[s] and selected for prestigious award from the institution that is ruled by bahun. They always want to put themselves calling we are the upper cast and we make the rules for all. Dig deeper in Nepal ko Bahunbad by Dr. bhattachan and you will find some answer why they do so. Briefly, let me tell you it's nothing more than the sheer pleasure of fooling those people who never ask, why.


Are all bahun always that bad ? May be a group of them, if they are given a chance to make rules. But, just then my mind is travelling to the memory lane of a Hindi movie, I have watched long time back. Prem Rog is a story of young widow perhaps, almost the same time when Tara was living her life here in Nepal.This is one of the best movie by Raj Kapoor, he is an Indian bahun. For me a literature is the one who tells you the story from a society, but; he also adds a pinch of new age thinking and imagination of his own that can change the age old shackles of our society. A true literature helps breaks the shackle not strengthen those human made iron shackle to chain some sections of humans under sheer fear. Ok, now I get it; what my subconscious mind what seeking in that book. Our young writer Mr Neupane can only wish, I had not watched that movie, I was not fan of Mr Kapoor's work, I have not read the western philosophy and at last but not the least he could wish I am not a feminist who has a brain of a human not a sheep.


I remember reading an Indian intellect Vishal Mangalwadi, who is also a christian religious leader wrote in his book Truth and Transformation, eastern philosophy - meditation - is practiced to empty our brain not to open our minds. Not, surprisingly and that is the reason none of the character did anything that is humanly possible to help each other. For that reason this philosophy disgusted me for telling me a story of a widow without intention to help another widow. In his perfect writing, I did not find anything that will make me read him more of his work, before and after. This will be first and last from this writer. But the writer has a good heart, perhaps; I should check his book, if he changes his publisher.


Note :
Tara* is given name to protect privasy.
Nepal ko Bahunbad

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