Angel of single women

Bhawana with an old woman after handing over her
bed and blanket to keep her warm during rainy seasons.

If you have time, Bhawana, said casually, let's go to the field visit. I was not prepared for the field trip, still I said, okay. Bhawana Bhatta, General Secretary of Youth Action Nepal was happy somebody will cover the story of single women of Katunje of Bhaktapur. They have  been hit very badly in this earthquake. Bhawana wanted me to go there and see the real story of those old and single women and tell the world about their  real condition. She really takes personal interest to tell me the story of those needy and destitutes women who are facing such hardship in life. I think what Bhawana’s real intention is, to show me the reality of single women in our country and how exactly their condition and how dependant they are with the sympathy of the close kins they live by, than what I see from  my ‘foreign specs’. She is right in one aspect, I am not that close to the real society of our country but then my story is different than what she really guess.

I have been associated with Youth Action Nepal as a volunteer since last June when they started quake volunteers. I was away from the volunteer work for quite some time, as most of the work  now is construction and like many girls/woman think, I also think; I am not suitable for hard work like construction like men.  I visit this office to keep myself busy doing some good work and she was giving me this opportunity out of nowhere.  

Chini Bisankhu : is an eighty year old woman, who was abandoned by her ‘husband’ in the same year they were married. She was only eleven years old then. Surprisingly, she never tried to find out why she was abandoned. Her husband as villagers called him ‘Bheaure’ who himself was only 16 - 17 years old then. She then went to stay with her parents to live. Since her parents death about forty years ago, she has been living alone near by her brother's place. She was so much haunted by the crack in her house after the earthquake that she could not even think of gong in and sleeping in her one room apartment which was made her avail by her brothers family. The fear of living in that cracked house was so much that she was hospitalized and she lost her weight drastically in last one month only. She is the picture of poor and poverty stricken and how fear can gnaw you in so short time. All you have to do is to glace a look at her. Then you will realize she had lost all those weight recently.

Now Youth action Nepal and its team of volunteer have made her one room temporary shelter free of cost in her land. She looks happy and relax now, however she was saying that her eyesight is getting bad and it needs to be checked up with good doctor. At least she knows this house will not fall on her head and she do not have to worry lying in her bed wondering where to run if it shakes again. I asked her, why were you so scared like that ? She said there was rumors there will be more and bigger than what we have survived recently. So that made me worry more and I could not sleep when everyone  moved  in to sleep in home. What is interesting, was; she had slept in her open lawn with all the relatives and community members for about two months after the earthquake, she was not sick then. She became sick or fear gripped her by the next upcoming earthquake when everyone moved in home to sleep at night. Then suddenly she started losing her weight drastically. along with her sickness that could not be identified even by doctors. Oh yes, sleeping pill was one of the medicine her doctors have recommended.

Until now, I was the one; who dismissed the fear of upcoming second bigger earthquake but I should have seen somebody like her. Perhaps its her age and then try to understand what it feels like it and how it looks like the fear and how it works. Now, I am really angry with those who spread the rumors there will be even bigger and earthquake than what we had seen in April 25, 2015.

Then there was this old woman of 90 years old, single woman, who was also abandoned by her husband when she was married. She was fifteen when she was married. Her husband was ten years older than her. After couple of years of marriage, the man married another woman and then moved to India. Now, she is been living with her maternal relatives. Most of her close relatives have died now and it's her brothers children who are taking care of her. She was given a room to stay in their home but this earthquake shook the two story house and then it turned the house into debris, they used to stay with her kins. Now the condition is very bad for all of them . Since then, she has been living under the damaged houses lower floor because she can't climb any stair at this age and we cant ignore the emotional attachment, she feels with that place. Her caretaker the children of her brother told us that she is very happy to see her one room temporary shelter getting ready only for her. They them self have been living under the temporary tin shelter since the quake hit that area.

Why your NGO is picking up these single women ? I asked Bhawana. Youth Action Nepal is not meeting the needs of single women only, but; yes single women are one of our major target there is no doubt. She said and added, its because their stories are so  moving than others. We are also focusing on disabled and then TLC for schools.  I once saw the call from INSEC Nepal site, about a single woman's desperate condition after the earthquake. Then I went out to help and from then onward there is no need go out looking for the needy single women. Now, our team of volunteer engineers are on the field all the time. So, they also seek for opportunities help needy woman and some time some local people approach us to help  some needy ones. When we are approached we see the case  and based on the need and cost, we provide the help if we can. Once we started working on that line, we starting getting more such demands for similar work from our Facebook where many people are reading us and we do try to reach out everywhere as much as we can manage. Yes, they have to be the most needy.

To be honest, I have never done such work. Quake volunteers is my first hand experience with volunteer work. When I started doing as youth mobilization work it started healing me more than whoever got help from us. I was one volunteer out of 5000 which was mobilized by Youth Action Nepal. I then realized nothing gives me so much satisfaction than to do something for those when they need help. But more than anything this work gives me opportunity to work with Bhawana who does her work like this is her religion.