Explaining the Unexplainable

“Obsessive-compulsive behavior can sometimes arise seemingly out of nowhere”, Edward Dolnick writes in his article, the boy who could not stop running. He further writes down that, “as a result of blows to the head or epileptic seizures or strokes. And it can go away just as unexpectedly.” He then gave an example about a man of 22 years, in his article, that appeared in Reader's Digest, June 1997 issue. The young man shot himself, in the head because his compulsions had made his life unbearable. He lived, but his obsession and compulsion vanished. This incident had happened in Vancouver, Canada in 1988.

Although, the writer did not explain it there, specially, because its not the intention of that article to cover the part I am covering here; but  I could not help ignore, the very fact that the obsessive-compulsion did not vanish just like that, which appeared out of nowhere. Indeed, it did vanish only when, the young man tired of all this tried to end his life by shooting in his head, then the obsessive-compulsion had vanished. I think very strongly that, when he shot at his head, the bullet must have passed through the exact nerve in his head; that bothered him too much for too long, that's why he wanted to end it.

My mind racing fast at this time and taking me to one TV scene, which stamped in my mind memory book, years after I had watched it. Its a show about a dim-wit man, called Mungerilal, and the shows name was Mungerilal Ke Sapne in Indian Channel. One day, he was trying to repair his radio, with all the knowledge he had to fix it in vain. When nothing happened, he threw it on the floor and to his [and we audiences] delight just then, the radio worked. He became the accidental scientist.

Remember the radio worked - perhaps only for short time who knows - but only when he gave up and threw it up in frustration.

My brain is traveling even faster, now, and taking me back in my memory lane; when I was  a schoolgirl. It was the time, when we used to use a fountain pen, for our school works because it was a compulsory. It used to have a nip, that can be replaced, when it stopped working. One day my pen did not work, to be precise, it was the nip that was not working, as it made very rough sound and it was not even writing anything; when I tried to write on my copy. It frustrated me, because I had to finish my homework on time. I had opened the nip and tried to fix it, with all the little knowledge of my preteen years. My hands had covered in ink stains, yet it just did not work. So, in frustration, I ran my pen, on the rough jute carpet for about two feet, and then ran it on my copy. To my utter delight, it just worked perfectly. What I can't remember is how long, the nip worked.  

It worked, when I finally gave up. Running it over the rough carpet was an act, before I threw my pen; of course, only the nip, pen for sometime only until I went to collect it from the place my frustration wane off. But at that moment of desperation, when I was about to throw it out or give it up, that last act just changed the whole scene and suddenly it worked.

At this very time, my mind is running fast and I do remember some examples Loren Cunningham mentioned in his book, Daring to live on the edge. He tries to convince his readers that, do not worry about anything in life, have faith in God and leave the worries to Him as his Jesus says in Bible. In the book’s chapter two, he ask the readers, questions like, have you ever seen a bird who has wrinkles, bleary eyes with blood shoot with sleepless night ? A bird do not worry about the next food nor it stores its next days food; yet all the birds live it’s full life. This concept came from bible, indeed Jesus, the book says. He too like many christian missionaries, do not have anything in his bank balance, and if in case, there is some; he gives it to many projects his church or missionary works demands. Of course, he does it when he hears God’s voice in his head. Even if the money is something he had been saving for his children's college education.

Loren Cunningham is a very popular religious leader, visionary and founder of YWAM, a christian wings in the Christian religion. This is the book that has power to inspire me deeply, no nah, not to be the believer, but what the writer’s faith in God and more than that, his  believe giving is a form of worship; that is where, he is very infectious and hard to resist.

Missionaries or religious leaders across the world, just pray for their all needs and there need will be met by God. How come ?

If I am deeply inspired by the faith and belief in God held by Loren Cunningham, then there is one more book, I call my bible. A book that inspired my profoundly, okay, I am talking about my favorite book, Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. At one point in the book he shares to his readers that, when you run out of money and need it desperately, its the time you need to give to your charities or to your favorite church. If you do so; the givings will bring back in buckets. However he clearly writes down further that, when you give, you should not expect anything in return, if you do; then the giving will go in vain. This is one habit he was instill when he was young boy just like the believe Loren Cunningham was instilled when he was young.

Loren Cunningham inspires to give - with so many real life experience and examples in the same book.   He tells his young followers, “give, even if you are at the receiving end”, and in one occasion, he even writes that, Christians from poor nations like north america and Asia should learn to give more instead of saying or feeling that we don't have, we should see then, how God do his share of work after that.

Rich gives money to charities and churches and to so many foundations, so that the giving will be multiplied and the missionaries pray to God to provide their needs.

Robert Kiyosaki does not want to depend on anyone for his financial needs in his life not even government for that matter; and he plans and works accordingly and religious leaders like Loren Cunningham fully depends on God not only for his daily basic needs but for the entire teams needs.

A capitalist give up his dependency from all for financial freedom and work accordingly and A religious leader fully depends on to God for all his need. I can't ignore the obvious intertwined relationship between the two opposite thinking  people here.

Giving up control sometimes seems to be the real freedom for some, as it appears; freedom from a disease like obsessive-compulsive disorder, a radio that was not working and a nip that completed its time, or financial need for livelihood and not just a family but all the religious people who depends on God.

Some times its okay to give up the full control. Just give up the control and then see the result.

Love or Lust

On the 4th death anniversary of her father, in 2011, Priya could not get a day off from her office, due to shortage of staff, but was allowed to go home couple of hours earlier in the evening, meaning at around 6 pm. Nidhi, Priya’s colleague, seeing Priyas loneliness on that day, invited her at her home after office that day, just to make her feel better, as she was not feeling good on that particular day for many reason. Especially, she not being able to stay at home with her mother and younger sister on that day.

After office at Nidhi’s home, as they were talking, they got lost in time track, it got late, meaning 8 pm. Because, it was the month of December and Priya’s house was about 35 minutes walking distance from Nidhi’s home, yet Nidhi managed to get Pankaj from office to drop Priya at her home. Pankaj instantly made himself available on the request.

Pankaj Maitry worked with Nidhi and Priya in a BPO centre in Ahmedabad for last three years. Pankaj was in love with Priya but she was not into him. He had shared his feelings for her, but she had declined it politely, saying, “its not just you I am not ready for any guy now, not at this time.” More she wanted a distant from him, more he got attracted to her, who worked in his office, and their workstation was also the same; not just the office. And  more Pankaj saw her,  more he started liking her despite her rejection for his proposal.

On the way back home, when Priya held Pankaj around his waist on his bike, his adrenalin rush went high and at that time he felt so strongly for Priya, to hold her and love her. All he wanted was, to make love with her. Pankaj told Priya he had to get one package from a friend's place. Instead he took her behind a quite bush on the way and then had forcefully physical relation with her. Sorry, I am not using the rape word here.

Rape ! of course, sound big ugh and Oh My God, but to him it was just expressing his raw emotions to the girl, he loved so dearly.

When everything happened Priya started saying harsh and nasty words to pankaj for what  he did to her and threatened to take her to police. It was immediate after the ‘sex’. For Pankaj it was the expression of his feelings and love and for priya it was lust [she was not interested] and unacceptable act making it rape.

He loved her and to a man rejection immediate after sex, no man can take it easily.  Men do get angry when they don't get sex, when they want it.

Pankaj had fabricated the story that her shawl, which wrapped around her neck got tangled in the bike’s chain, when they were on the road and ultimately it caused the bike accident that killed her. Pankaj never truly opened up on this case, not even during the interrogation by police. He kept denying all the time, saying it was pure bike accident which killed priya.

It seems that he had completely blocked himself on his emotion of rejection by the very girl whom, he had loved so dearly. Of course, his way of treating her was bad and I am not saying Priya should not have resented it. While watching its dramatized version on TV, I just hoped, she should have protected her life before worrying about her  body being impure.

It may be in our cultural believe, that lies in our mind that sex is bad and rape is worst form of sex. It has been injected in our mind in such a way, as if it means end of world. Our mind is trained to  take such situation that as if  there is no life after rape. But what we need to understand is rape is nightmare and life does not end after rape. There are women, who have survived gang rape also, so women need to protect herself first not to protect the body first.

Personally it seems to me that this boy who worked in BPO who was deeply in love with Priya, but she had rejected his feelings for her. He was bit of introvert kind, what happened behind the bush was purely his feeling for the girl and immediately after the sex he was in no mood for rejection and not the kind of reaction he expected. It only broke loose of his twisted wire in his brain and then in that very moment he killed Priya, on the spot. Here at this moment I am leaving the criminal investigation ran by police force and will focus on the death of Priya after the sex, well maybe rape.

When post mortem report revealed death at around 9:30 to 10:00 pm and the body was rushed to the hospital at around 11:00 pm. But Priya had left Nidhi’s home at around 8:00 pm and she was raped before murder. The scratches on her hands were so fresh, they were telling stories. Police officers were able to crack down Pankaj. Then it was revealed that, Pankaj had thought that, if he gets her body first, she will be compelled to marry with him due to societal pressure on women after rape.

“But, if you loved her that much, why you killed her ?” interrogating police officer wanted to know, Pankaj melt down under the pressure of police interrogation and admitted after much denial, she had gone on verbal attack, threatening to defame him by going to police and calling him words like ‘coward’, ‘bastard’ and you are ‘namard’ [big insult to man],  and so on. You are coward and you will regret for what you have just done to me.

Men can not take those words lightly, not immediate after sex; ugh, I keep forgetting to mention rape word here.

I have been digging so many rape cases that happened in India which comes in crime patrol show a crime base reality show, where tens of thousands rape cases happens every year. All I want to tell my women readers that, in case of rape protect your life not your body. Spit on the idea, that is injected in our mind by our culture that sex [rape] impures our body. Save your energy to fight with the guy and society too, in this matter,  in this life; you can not do that after death. There are cases, women do have survived even after gang rape ! Remember rape is not the end of life anyway.

After all he was the guy who worked with her in the same office for last three years, so it really would not have been much tough for Priya to catch the guy later on, and take the needed action. Women get killed for threatening the fragile self esteem men dwell in not for resenting the sex men offer to them. Recently news around the world surfaces of women being raped from the new born to 97 years old. Criminal Expert say, men suffering from narcissistic disorder are tend to do these kind of heinous act to women. "Abusive men suffer from pathological jealousy for their partner", said Criminologist Anna Van Der Hoven from South Africa. “These kind of Individual have a grandiose sense of self importance... however, their self-esteem is very fragile and when this is threatened, they can become violent”; she added further.

While I was growing, I used to think all men are alike, what I failed to understand that man like Pankaj, do not represent; all the men who live on the planet.  This is the best thing I have ever learned as I grow older.

The narrator of the program concluded with the thought, saying “only mentally-ill person can think of overpower and possessing women, after getting her body first, and mentally sick people has nothing to do with masculinity and masochism.

Three Stories

 Story 1 : Once upon a time, there was a king, who saw a nest on top of his palace and got baffled, because he didn't see any ladder or any tall tree with its branches to reach the place. So, he wanted to know how come the bird made its next there. Not surprisingly, he sent one of his close aide with a big ladder, to see how come a bird can make its nest on top of the palace ? He was even more baffled to hear the news that the nest had little birds inside  it. He became curious and out of curiosity, he left the ladder nearby the nest, so that the birds can use it to reach in there home, just if in case. He started studying the nest for a couple of weeks and then one day the little bird flew from the cage; without using ladder. At this moment the king realised, that birds do not need ladders or any tall trees or its branches to reach to the top of a building or a palace.

As for a moral of a story it added at the end of a story that, sometimes even big people also make mistakes, due to absent mindedness.

What this story failed to teach, young child like me was, just because he was a king who was born with position, power and wealth; this also does not mean, he was born with common sense too. The story teach us to be the slave of those, who has power and money but not the common sense.

Story 2 : I am sure, all of you must have read the story of  Ekalavya, who was so very fascinated and mesmerized by the art of archery skill, that the Pandava brothers were getting training in the jungle by an expert of that era, who were called guru then.

The young boy Ekalavya, was not from the very affluent family background nor was he from royals like Pandava; instead he was untouchable of the society. Even then, he went to the guru and asked him to teach him the same as the Pandava brothers were getting. Knowing our culture and society, it should not surprise anyone that the young boy was denied for the training without a reason. However, it was so loud and clear, that he was untouchable, underprivileged, and nowhere near to the royals, to get the training, meant only for the royals.

Young Ekalavya did not take that ‘no’, and did not let that ‘no’ let him discouraged either, for what he loved and liked so much. It was like love at first sight  for him. Therefore, he went to the jungle, every day; to watch the training from the hides and later he self trained himself for the archery. His interest in archery was so much that, he gained a lot better knowledge by the teaching and self learning, than that of royal students.

One day, when the pandava brothers [ five brothers] were busy on training with their guru, got lost in the forest. Their dog, who had gone into the deep forest alone, saw Ekalavya practicing archery. After seeing him, the dog started barking like crazy, its relentless bark distracted the eager boy to focus on his practice, so much so that he thought of stopping the bark. He did stopped the dogs bark, with what he was good at, his arrows. The arrow did not pierced the dog, but stopped the barking. Later, after the training was over, the royal boys found the dog was missing, so all of them went to the deep forest, looking for the dog. The dog, by now was returning back towards the training center, but they were stunned at the scene and at the sometime, was also wonder struck, how come an arrow that was inside the mouth of a dog was not hurting it at all ! They tried to pull the arrow, but none of them could do so; not even the Arjun, who was  the best amongst the five.

Then, they headed towards to deep forest, to find out, who did it. There they saw  Ekalavya doing his practice. Then, they requested him to pull the arrow from his mouth, which he obliged. At this time, the guru asked him, where did he learned this skill ? he innocently replied that, he watched him teaching the royal boys and after some times, he self gained the knowledge. One thing is a must to mention here,  Ekalavya had built the statue of this same guru and he did his practice in front of that statue, every day imagining, how he would have guided him.

It was then, guru asked him time to pay for the training. The boy was willing to pay, but the sly and sleuth guru asked his thumb, no, not from his left hand but from the thumb of his right hand, the most important part of the body; that is needed for the archery skill. And Dorna just chopped off his thumb and paid that shrewd guru, for the training which he never gave. Ekalavya, I guess, did not even realized that this pay meant, end of his career or further gaining knowledge in this area. This also ensured the name and fame to the royal boys without the tough competition from the common man who was never trained by the best in the country.

This particular story had been repeatedly told to us, when we were young, to pay our due respect to teachers; and I just grew up hearing it like this.

What this story failed to teach us is, today, we know Arjun is the best archer in the history  of ancient eastern culture, because of the discrimination in caste system that our culture indulge in. This kind of discrimination is what, pulls the backwards of the society, for this or that reasons.  Pandava brothers also should be blamed equally, because they were present at the scene, when the Ekalavya chopped off his thumb, but none of them dared voicing against their guru, because deep down they realized it was good for their false and fake swelled up royal pride, who were less talented than the boy, who was not trained at all like them. Just because they were privileged and royals, does not mean they did not snatched the opportunities from the common man.

Next time, when some teacher tells you this story, remember he is not telling you to pay the respect to teacher for their hard work, but he is biased and taking part openly in discrimination game and spreading the deep rooted crab mentality, that have been gripping our society for centuries. Besides this moral, this story also fails to teach us one more very important lesson in our life, if we are interested in one area, the self gained knowledge; is far better than, any teacher in the world or for that matter even royal teacher can teach us.

Story 3 : But my favorite story is here, this is also a story, which I read when I was so young and have not been able to read it, in my adult life or in any story book since then.

Once upon a time, there was a poor man, who used to live in a small house. The house, he stayed was next to an eatery. He was so poor, that he could not afford a decent meal for one time, so forget about meat on his daily meal. But his perks was that, he was staying in front of the very well known eatery. It so happened that, when he used to sit down for his stale and pale food, just then the whiffs of scented curry and meat used to fill in his room and then with that; he used to eat his meal, thinking, he is the one who is enjoying the good meal from the eatery.

One day, as usual he sat down for his evening meal, and waited for the scent of chicken curry to fill his room, so that he can start his meal. But today, unlike other day the scent did not filled his room so, he just waited and waited and waited, but the good whiffs of aroma never filled his room. Its been so long that, he had been eating his meal, with the scent, he was so used to of  having his meal with the rich scent only, coming from the eatery, not without it. Not surprisingly, he just could not eat his meal, without the aroma of good curry filling his room and his nose and all his senses.He slept that day, without having his meal.

The next day, he went to the eatery and talked with the owner. The owner, listened him patiently, and after hearing the full story, he told him that, he has to pay the price for the meal, as of the market value for which he has been eating for years. This surprised and  angered the poor man, and at the same time worried him too. He did not know, what to do next. The discussion got bigger and bigger and the crowd got divided into two. Some agreed with eatery owner, and some felt sorry for the poor man. The simple conversation got so big that, they landed in a court and to the horror of the poor man; the judge also ruled, in favor of eatery owner.

To pay the dues and all the old dues, the poor man, really have to do all kinds of hard work on his extra time to manage the money to the eatery owner. On the judgement day, the time of the pay, the eatery owner was so excited and happy to get the huge money. So needless to mention, he was wearing the biggest smile, ever in his life that went ears to ears. It was not only that, he was going to make extra money, but it was coming from purely his insane sounding idea too.

The poor man was really poor and because he was a poor man, so all of his pay money was in small change, which was kept in a small potalee [ a bag like stuff made by cloth used to keep the small cash], which made a lots of sweet sound of money, when shaken. The judge took the potalee from the poor man, containing all the old dues and shook it really well, in front of the eatery owner, then told him; this is your pay. It surprised the eatery owner but the judge clarified it saying, “only the sound of the money, in return of the scent, which the poor man was enjoying, not the actual food. So, why expect the real money for unreal product, which was never sold to him ?”

Now, its the poor man’s turn to be happy and smile from ears-to-ears. It relieved him so much after learning that, he do not have to pay for the thing, which he never ever bought.  

At this time, I do not remember what moral this story taught me then, but it came with the best teaching of all story I mentioned above, a good lesson and a good moral value to learn.

There is law and order when common man are involved and it restores the inequality in our society. I wish this judge was there to give the justice to Ekalavya and his common sense to that story teller of our first story, who do not have guts to tell us that royals only have status and positions, but they are not gifted with talent, common sense and conscience.

If only we have more people with a common sense to teach us; when we were growing up.

Why Nepali TV airs political news base programme only ?

Recently, I have been making it kind of my duty to keep eye on what kind of program that gets aired in our channels. I should have known this well than others, why Nepali channels are not airing any programs that shape our society.

Most of the talk show on all channels mainly focus on politics, politicians and political condition of our country. As if, other than that, there is nothing happening in this country. And it actually should not surprise me then, frustrating condition of the politics and political situation in this country; is what spoiling the overall mood of the general mass of this country. More than that, most of the time people sound so defeated and see no better future here in this country. The question is; why people are so frustrated at this extent ? Why state is not taking any steps, to help the people of this country ? Who should and who can change this situation ? Who is responsible, when we have only news based programmes and no other drama, musical programs or talent shows that helps to rise and flourish the creative industry. Even more, why there is no such program that helps to shape the society to reform our it for better future ? which ultimately uplift the socio economic condition of the society also. Is preaching by religious leaders, in every morning on most of the channels is only solution for this ?

The major TV channels like NTV, which is state owned KTV  and Image channels and News 24 and other news channels which is privately owned; also airs only news that run more than 12 times a day. Keep in mind, none of the countries channels run for 24 hours. Other programs which is drama based, do not have enough viewers or they watch all the foreign channels for Gods sake ! Is my country is the only one who is facing this problem ? Do not Indian channel has to face cut throat competitions with the loads of channels that is in sky for better program, which pulls more viewers to its particular program ?

You might want to give me the name of some of the programs which has been on air since long. But Tito Satya, Jire Khursani and Gharbeti Baa has been entertaining the mass with cheap satire on the social or political situation of the society but do not reform the society. Instead these very kind of program may have taught the public to talk back to their parents with less respect as the child in Toto Satya used to talk back with so blunt way showing no respect at all to his parents until couple of years ago. Mundre[ Jeetu] is also not very famous for showing respect to his parents or his relatives. Its different they think, its comedy or fun to do so. Popular TV program like this have so much power to change the mass thinking alike. lets even not talk about the other chepa satire drama on NTV or even other channels.

TV plays a huge role to shape the mind of people, to change their social behaviour yet its really been long that good program do not get aired on our Television channels, why ?  I once worked in a media house to market and sale the national television’s programs to corporate houses and advertising agencies, so I know some inside story here.

Its not that our country lack so the talent or has the shortage of skilled actors, or director producers or the writers. Its, multinational company like Unilever and Dabar who want to pay their rate for the program not the rate that cost to make the programs and other national corporate houses to be blamed for this ? What do they care about the better society of our country ? And why they even care, when we are not caring for it ?

Its so happened, at a time for a long time, when Maobadi was determined to push the country back to the stone age and destroying everything across the country to pull the attention from national and international societies in the name of peoples war. They were also extorting corporate houses, to feed their so called soldiers. People were so focused only on news and corporate houses started pouring their money mainly on news as corporate houses only cares to sell their goods to the viewers, they do not care much about the society  or better society; for better tomorrow.

 Regardless of country ‘s political or economic condition all they want to do is to sell their products, now, but never prepare our public to buy new products which is made in Nepal, expensive and  is of export quality. All audience are potential buyers of their products now but there is no  better society tomorrow in corporate houses angel. Just sell what sells here and go to other placed to sell what they will buy. therefore its a country or its government who really  has to take the stern steps to make our society.

Creative industry needs to prosper in any country; as it creates money and becomes the  reason to flow money in the market. For example : I have been watching Australian Master Chef for some time now.  It seems that this show alone helped Australians to spend more money on food and prosper food industries. But at the same time its also helping to prosper the cookbooks, cookbook writers, demand of good chefs in the restaurants, sell of Kitchen wares, creating good food critics for more magazines or papers, and this show also giving the good chefs to many lifestyle channels. It seems that the show alone, has been helping the country to role millions of dollar in the market, in so many ways.

If any business helps to flow the money in the market, the economic keeps rolling in the particular country and situation gets better. Its a win win situation for the creative industry as well as for a country.

I have seen our creative industry, movies, television programs, writers with vision has been under shadowed due to the over priority given to politics and politicians. Politics takes money from businessmen, government and also from public. Politics do not help roll money in the market, other than the blocking it to roll, unlike other business. In show business it somewhat creates a notion that, money is a concept not a real thing and so that it fuels the idea that money can be created. But for that people really have to be very creative. and have to have a vision to shape our society to get it better.

Manufacturing industry of our country has to invest money in good program instead of bargaining for dirt cheap rate all the time and killing this money making industry. Corporate houses, Advertising agencies and brand managers  has to stop comparing our local programs to international class programs. In other country corporate houses picks up the huge production bills, that will help them to pay well to the star cast, so that they can make a good program. Such quality programs can not be made with mere investment of under 50,000/- budget per week to compare with Indian or international quality programs. I am sure, you must have heard the term, if you throw peanuts, you can only attract monkeys. That's why even my country sits in-between the two emerging economic giants on earth which of course is, China and India; who have been spending hell on travelling budget, yet we have not been able to gain it, not even 5% of their good spending habit.

If we do not focus on making good program on our channels, it will be even more sad condition for our country, for its economic and socio-economic condition in the years to come. There should be less news, that focus only on politics and politicians, for our society to prosper. Corporate houses has to be more serious and realistic to invest for long term programs, instead of short term investment to better our society. Forget multinational companies here in this matter; as they least care for the betterment of our society because if they see no one is buying their product, they will move on to other place, where they will find their clients. But you and I have to  live in this society, for good or bad.

12,000/- per minute a programs is the main reason of deteriorating condition of our creative industries on Television. I have not heard one corporate house here who says make it and I will buy it. Corporate houses, Advertising agencies and brand managers are; all the slave of TRP ratings. They are not the visionary who foresees the better tomorrow. Should this surprise me now, why we are not making any good programs yet ? But then why the channel bosses are not having any vision for our society; except that warms their pockets ?

• Indian movie industry is estimated to have been a billion dollar industry.
• A good quality program by Ekta Kapoor cost 15 corod a year to make in India and here we spend only under 50,000 per week.
• 100 crore movie club is now new buzz in the indian movie industry which create money in matter months and manufacturing industries have to work all year long to make that much money.
• It is said that Tare Jamin par [ stars on earth ] made more than 200 crore in the box office.
• Such movie tell us the fact that money can be created and with a brilliant idea it can be created
  
  

Criminals are created

It may be that I am too concern about the things that is happening around me. It does not have to be always in my vicinity, just in bigger society and trying to understand everything that goes in this world. For that very reason I have been watching Crime Patrol for more than a year and now I am addicted of this program. this is one good program which teach us without being too preachy. When I am trying to understand, what is sin ? and who decides or tell us what makes an act a sinful act ? I thought killing people is one of the biggest sin, but when I came to learn the real reason behind the actual murder; its not so easy to judge this act, which terminates the live of a human being; is also not one of the biggest sin. Of course it always has two sides of a story to tell but not always.

In this reality TV program, some hindu priest claims that being lower caste is non religious [adharma], going to temple by ‘untouchables’ is equal to sin. Really ? What kind of religious belief is that but here I am not going to talk about the what is sin or something that, makes some at a religious or not.  what force a person to commit crime ? are they born bad, raise in bad environment ? were illiterate ? who commit crime ? what is the reason behind the crime that keep happening in our society that is also around the worlds.

You are too young to fall in love : Priya Rajput was normal teenagers like any other girl and was still studying in school. Just one slight difference, she was in love; head over heels with a boy who lived in same village. The old generations of that village were against this kind of ‘behaviour’ in their village and that small natural act of hers, was regarded as bad act and childish behaviour. She was beaten, slapped and then, when still she refused to obey her parents; she was sent to stay in one of her uncles home, hoping, out of sight and out of mind case will apply in her life.  The teenage girl who fell in love with a boy in her village was barred to stay connected  with him and kept in one of her uncles home, killed her aunt when no one was in the house and then went to meet her boyfriend. later police arrested her and sent her to juvenile home, as she was just sixteen when she committed the murder.

If only, the family members would have understood the falling in love is natural than losing a family member well ahead of her time. This could have been avoided. If a society treats a normal behaviour as an abnormal act then this things are bound to happen in due course of time.

You are my wife But : It was Amina’s idea and her close friend, who killed the wife of her husband for denying her status, position and child, she thought, she too should have as a wife. She was not aware of the man’s first marriage, when she was married to a man to whom she called Khan Sab. He kept both of wives in dark about his second marriage and from first wife he had  two children too. The wives first met each other when he was hospitalised one day and Amina’s friend saw him there. The man thought, he was keeping both of his wives happy but the reality was so chilling and when he came to know about it he just could not believe. This man treated his wives as if they have no say in their life and he also could not leave one of them but the 2nd wife who wanted all the things that a married woman desires was denied of.

If only he could have treated them with so much respect, he would not have lived to see one of his wife dead and another going to jail.

You are poor and young : Puja a seventeen year old slum dweller, in a mumbai who used to work in a ladies trailer was only breadwinner in her family, when her father left for delhi with his son. At that tender age, she had to take care of her sick and ailing mother and she also had a sister who was studying in ninth grade dreaming to become a doctor. with her meagre it was not easy for her to support  three member of the family so she needed to make Rasan Card, that card would have allowed her to get the groceries at subsidised rate in her area’s grocery store. She needed to make one, but there was problem to get that card fixed, with her old rasan card, which included her fathers name too. In her quest to fix the rasan card, she landed in the office of a local political party leaders office, who could have helped her to make that card.

But the situation turn out bit ugly way. He started abusing her for his lust and she just meekly submitted herself in a hope that, one day this middle aged man will help her to get the new rasan card. Six months pass by but this Mangesh Kadam, a rising political leader was not making her any rasan card and she needed one desperately. Every time he called, she went to see him, and she just did whatever, he wanted her to do. But, one day when Mangesh Kadam wanted Puja to being her fourteen year old sister for his lust. It just pulled the wire off from her brain, and proved to be the last nail on the coffin. She just could not focus on her work.

Needless to tell, she shared the whole incident to her brother like employers. This segment of class think that, even if they go to police to complain about such case;  police won't help them. So they themself made a plan and one day when Mangesh Kadam wanted to  see the girl, Puja took her to see him, but along with her, she went to see him, with her brothers like two employer too.

The two men went to see the political leader with the alcohol, just before Puja entered in his office on that Sunday. When he shamelessly took Gita in his room and told Puja to stay out of his office; she opened the outside door and then let the two men enter the office again and then they killed Mangesh by slitting his throat.

A powerful leader was killed by the poorest and the exploited group of the society. He was killed for his lust and abuse of power. He had the chance to avoid his death.

All the above cases tells us, very clearly that criminals are created by our society and in many cased from the family members and their stern believe in certain issued they do not or can not bend over. They are not born bad, or raised bad but They are treated so poorly, which in due course of time exploded to the kind of situation, nobody would like to to take  its responsibility. If only we try to understand it, long  before it happens then our society will better place to live.

He needs your help

Plain Jane,  is a reality TV program on TLC. Being a hardcore realistic person, I seem to be  sticking with reality base programs only on TV, of course, with few exception. This programs grooms girls above twenty to under thirty, who have been in relationship for some time but they could never muster it to those with whom they were in relation. they could never take it to another level even though some of them were best friends since college.

Its not that these girls are not smart, educated and beautiful but they just lack that confidence to admit it to the man of their life. May be, its presumed that this is the work of a man. Louise Roe, the program host ask only 48 hours with these girls and after a first meed, she just picks up her phone to dial the guy to fix a blind date in just 48 hours.

She then starts working with girls starting with their worst fear and conquering it  by any means possible. Some did skydiving, some did pulled the bill of a 1000 dollar from the 100 snail filled in a vase and some picking up the bill from the shark aquarium and some boxing their fear out. But more than that the girls has to gain the confidence to face the guy, who was in her life for long time, she liked him loves him yet have nt confidence to admit it in front of him. Fearing the rejection and some never wanted to lost the best friends if she shares her inner feeling with him. you know how girls are when it comes to cockroaches and the slippery snails

The background of the story is of course, based in America and thats why its makes it so interesting to watch it as its regarded the very advanced country to put their feelings it words.

Once they face the fear, then they have to go through the dress up sense and then some makes up tips to get the attention of the guy.

It was shocking to find out at the end of the show that almost every guys felt the same way as the girls but was afraid of rejection, so they never propose the girl of her life.

A study reveals that ninety percent men are afraid of rejection, so they never propose. ninety percent huh ! It does not surprise me then, there is this notion that tells, women are smarter; when it comes to emotional intelligence and they have this knack of reading feelings about all the emotions. She may be slow to get so many other things, that is under the sun; but she is the mother of all emotions, because she is the one who invented most of it.

A recent survey done and complete follow up in every six month of their marriage from the beginning for about fours years by the psychiatrist of University of California reveals that, if she has a doubt about her marriage, which may not work, then she should listen to her instinct; because the divorce is sure on the way; compared to men who has the same doubt. It also mean that she can hold it, I mean a home or a family, if she wants to and things will fall apart, if she is distracted to keep it together.

So next time when you know you like the guy and your instinct tells you that he too likes you then you know what to do.  Because behind that cool and macho man there lies the very insecure man who lack the self confidence especially when smart, beautiful and intelligent girl like you is around him to make him feel more nervous. So, take the matter in your hand. The chances of being rejection is just ten percent, and thats what makes it so interesting.

Here at this moment, I remember this line from a movie, my big fat greek wedding, “men are head and women are neck, without neck head can not nod”.