The perfect man

Recently, I came across a definition of a joitngre. The description of the man goes like this : someone who has immense love towards his wife, who values opinions of his wife, involves her in his decision making process, someone who shares household chores with his wife; does not mind taking care kitchen and stuffs, prioritizes her happiness and expectations above others; does not hesitate to express his love and affections; stand by her forever.

Maybe this is perfect definition of the man who loves his wife and stands for her. However, I think this definition of a man is incomplete in itself in so many ways than one. It's really hard to believe that guy of this kind ever existed in my society. Never heard of it as I have never read any story revolving around this man and a family prospering in his guidelines that slowly changed even a small section of our society.

If he ever existed then how come we have never heard of a story that also tell us about this kind of man.  In a society where I grew joitingre is the man who should have been in high demand. As my society have had enough of the man dominated society who regards women as second class citizen.

If he really existed, we should not have been fighting for gender equality. Our street have been devoid of drama by women’s right activists.

To my knowledge, the word joitingre in fact,  have been using to hurl insult to the type of men who listens his wife only and this is the reason men of this kind take it as a humiliating. I have never ever come across in my life not in a story or book  that this society tell us about a man who boldly supports his wife and then he also comes out in the world saying, yes I love my wife, do you have any objection with my feelings for her ?

On the contrary, all the men who are termed as joitingre hide his feelings and shrinks when someone calls him joitingre ! As a matter of fact, it's his close relatives who calls him this word than the outsiders. Honestly speaking, it's his parents who use this word more than anyone, to humiliate him in front of the other relatives, if he sides with his wife for decision making process. It's the family secret and insult.

Going through this definition made me feel that, this is the definition that is befitting to those men who are feminist. Contrary to joitingre, men who are feminists also love his wife and stand for her But they are not the kind who needs to hide his feelings from the world.

Feminist men have always been emerged as a strong and a very popular leader in every area not just in politics. American President Barack Obama is a feminist and considered one the great leader of his time. He is not just feminist but he is also proud to admit it to the whole world. Just like him Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is also a feminist and proud to announce it to the whole world for being a feminist. A man who is a true feminist is not shy about admitting he being a feminist. However, this is the not case of with a joitingre.  

The perfection of this definition almost made me cry in guilt for not picking up one man for me. I can't even say that the joitingre cant never be around. But, I don't want a shy guy, not the one who shirks when his close relatives use this word to insult him. I don't need a man who is ‘yes mom’, ‘yes honey’ and then you two are pulling me apart. I don't need a mama’s boy and when his mother tells him joitingre he will cry out and then do not know which side to take.

A real man knows how to balance both.  

I need a man, who is a feminist not a joitingre, who can come out from the dark and say proudly to the whole world, I am Joitingre. Show me, how many men we have in our society, who will stand up and say out proudly, “Yes I am joitingre !”

Needless to go further down to tell you that in my society my man exists only in definition. He sounds perfect in definition however in reality he is gutless. And gutless is useless is so many ways.