In crime shows one thing that really grips me is its story telling especially when it comes to rape. A young girl is raped, a grandmother is raped, a woman is raped, a wife is raped, a rejected boy friends rapes his own girlfriend in rage, an angry husband rapes his wife, a brother rapes his own sister, an uncle rapes his own nieces. a neighbor rapes a girl next door. A gang of strangers rapes an unknown girl walking on the street.
Men seeing women only for his lust, treating her like his toy to vent, rant, pour anger, feel good about himself and at times his ego gets boosted when he rapes or exploit a girl/woman. After watching hundreds of crime shows that is covered about rapes cases; this is really tricky to understand the core of his mind and the intention behind rape. No one have come up with the answer that helps us to understand this issue, why ? What can we say to the young girls so that we can avoid it in future. There is no way a girl can protect herself from the ill intention men who might be the potential rapist. Is there any way we can recognize the man who can be the rapist ? No, one have come up with this answer too.
When we are bombarded with so many rape news which is increasing everyday. It's really hard to say what is there we need to know to tell them about guys who have destructive mind who want to hurt girls, humiliate her, abuse her, shun her, silence her, shrink her and his tool to do all this is rape. Yes, some of them kills her after brutal rape !
One thing is for sure, men who are raised by women who respected them would never ever do anything like that to any girls/women. Men who are abusive, had tormented childhood. But remember do not allow anyone to hurt you, your feelings and treat you badly just because he had bad childhood.
There is probably nothing, we can ever teach you sufficiently to protect you from men who will treat you like a trash. But, if you know about self respect then maybe we don't need to teach you anything about men. It's not about knowing him but it's about knowing you which is more important. This knowledge about you and your believe will be helpful to handle yourself not just before but after [ god forbid if that ever happen to you] the most haunting rape also.
Sometimes, some men rape just for fun; because she looked like the kind, let's have fun. To some her way is somewhat inviting. The question is why do they rape ? Research shows that men rape for basically for three main reasons. First is I like her [want of sex is covered in the like], second is its entertainment and third is revenge. Now, when I have three beautiful nieces and two of them are in college and in their teenage. One will turn thirteen next year. Reading and watching rape cases it really worries me how to protect them when I am not around them.
Pick your boyfriend wisely : I am not going to tell you girls to be doubtful of every guy who comes in your life. I can't tell you to see them with a hint of doubt or he could be the one who have already took rounds in jail. It's not what I can tell you about men but what you need to know about sex, rape and your own believe in sex. I know two of you do watch some Indian crime shows but remember watching it will not make you smart enough to face the crime that goes around you. It only scares you.
There is a reason why your parents may paranoid about your boyfriend[s] and why they tell you, do not have boyfriend[s] unless and until you finish your college. I see no reason to tell you to stay away from men unless you make big mistake. Sure some people think that if you don't have boyfriend then the chance are less you will end up in any kind of trouble. That makes no sense. Not all the girls who are raped are the one who had boyfriend. Many of them are raped in front of their husband and some in front of boyfriend.
Sex is not the super glue nor it's the synonyms of love. I would like to tell you if you get physical with your boyfriend and then at one point you realize that he is not the type of your ideal man then let me tell you this, now; walk out from that relationship. I have read so much and try to find some answer in all that; who thinks that you should stick with one man, specially with the one you get physical with once. But, getting physical with anyone does not mean you two are made for each other. There are plenty of people who need women to keep at home and then women to please his lust. Yes, sex is a form of an expression of love and feelings but it sure is not the super glue of love. Interestingly, in married life it's viewed that lack of sex means that the partner is seeking love somewhere else. You girls will sure grow old enough to know that there are men who likes to have sex with one person but loves somebody else. Lucky you, if you find the guy who loves you and would not want to get intimate with anyone but you ! keep crossing your finger girls.
Slut shaming culture : You girls must be knowing about the slut shaming culture our society clings in. we live in a society where having a couple of boyfriends will earn you the certificate of characterless girl. Many would like to close the eyes with the fact that how abusive the boyfriend was. It will be seen only from the anle how close you have been with him during that time. This will always get the unwanted look from the women next door or the men presumes, you are easy to take bed with, regardless of your consent. Be who you are but, keep your private life private. There are certain things that should never ever see the daylight. This does not mean you let your man abuse you, treat you like trash or the make you feel inferior about yourself.
Keep in mind rape is also sex but rape is bad form of sex and just because it may be sex to the man rape can't be sex for the victim. Remember some guys rape just for fun and entertainment. He might want to say it was a good sex, even though his partner is not enjoying it. It's good if we know it long before some creep inject his version of idea in your head. Sex should not make you feel inferior, ashamed and indignant about yourself and if you feel so, know what you need to do about it. Remember, I will be with you girls.
Why then some hang herself after rape ? some cut herself from all the social gathering. Many raped victims think this is her dignity and once she is raped her entire life is ruined. But it's not the truth. Not all girls/women committed suicide after rape. Gang rape could not kill a girl There are good men in our society who married the girls who were gang raped once. So what you need to know more than rape and rapist or the society and its view on it and about yourself ? You can live your life even after the most daunting rape.
Self respect : It seems there are some girls who are easy to pick for rape, torture, exploitation. Through study shows that girls who lack self respect are easy to picked up by men for his false machismo image. Weak girls are their target. Those who are self aware about her plus and minus points are not weak and they never allow weak men to exploit you. Know yourself, have the conviction about sex and then you will see this world better. Do not allow rape to ruin your life or any men to exploit you.
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