Secrets of Genius

Of late, I have been getting this vibe from the extraordinary achievers, who are regarded genius in their own field, due to the contribution they made in their respective areas, that there is nothing called genius. Word genius, which is mainly associated with one being incredibly brilliant with high Intelligence quality.

Recently, I read a quote by Thomas Alva Edison, that, “genius is, 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.” This line coming from the person who, himself is one of the most prolific inventor of our time; with 1,093 invention that has patent registered in US, Germany and France.

I do remember, reading a story, when I myself was young, about this very genius inventor of our time. When Thomas was young, he was so curious and inquisitive to find out, how hen hatches eggs ? So, one day, he took several eggs - about a dozen or so - and put it in a makeshift nest and sat down on it; to find out how they hatch ? I let you use your imagination to guess, what happened next. Once he responded, to those who thought, he have failed in many occasions, he told them that, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

So, now it does not surprise me about his take for the word, genius. Just a couple of weeks before, I was watching the interview of N. R. Narayan Murthy, one of the richest man listed in Forbes with more than a billion dollars earning. He is a self made man and first Indian to lead a software company to Nasdaq from India. At one point during the interview he said, quoting Yogi Bear;  “harder I worked, luckier I became.”

There were gymnast from China during Beijing Olympic, who gained international popularity overnight, just at the age of fifteen. But as I was watching CNN some time later during that time, they revealed the secrets of those perfectly performing gymnast on the beam at that kind of young age. In China parents have to submit their young child in the hands of coach[s] at the age of 5 - 6, and their training session starts from then onward. Therefore, should it surprise us the result after ten years ?

Jackie Chan is a somewhat daredevil, because he does all his movie stunts on his own without the help of body double, as its known in Hollywood for the action movies. No international insurance company, will take the risk of insuring him, because of what kind of stunts he does, he says in his interview; because, there is nothing, he has not broken yet in his body parts, while doing his stunts for movies. But martial art is his biggest strength, which gave him the international name, fame and secure place in Hollywood movie industry. But before becoming the world famous name in Hollywood or Hong Kong, he had spent his training days in one of those Chinese martial art school for ten years, and his training started, when he was just seven years old.

UK, top selling writer of Harry Potter series J.K. Rowling may have become international sensation after the wizard series, but, she has started writing at the age of five and her first story Rabbit was filled with interesting characters.

Most of the TV chefs today, including Nigella Lawson, whom I watch on my TV sets, fell in love with cooking when they were small and their affairs with food and cooking started, when they were too young to enter in the kitchen. Yet, they did what they loved and today they cook for us on our TV. Their grandmother were their favorite person at home, when they were young.

Reading Rich dad Poor Dad gives us the clear cut idea, that training should start very early in life, in every thing and the writer of the book Robert Kiyosaki's own training lasted 30 years, until he was thirty nine years old; in his quest to become rich. Remember, his father was PHD holder and working as a high ranking position in Government office yet he choose his best friends father as his mentor.

World most richest man Warren Buffet, who is famous for his knack in share market investment started buying share at the age of eleven and he kept buying ever since, which made him not just billionaire but richest man who joined hands with another richest man and genius like Bill gates to donate huge chunk of of their earnings to various charity.

Most of big stars in Hollywood and Bollywood started their career when they were very young. Oscar winning actress Jodie Frost, started her career as a child artist and Daniel Craig [the current James Bond] whose latest movie skyfall, became the highest grossing of all Bond movie in its 50 years history, started his acting career at the age of six.

Although, Tiger wood is trying to make it to the top again after his fall from grace, but just a couple of years ago, he was the first man to hold the highest number of PGA trophies; his training has started at the age of three and his father was his coach. Today we know him one of the greatest golfers of our time.

In the music and entertainment worlds, known as King of Pop, Michael Jackson, has joined his Jackson 5 band, when he was young and performed on stage, when he was just eleven years old. He had started singing and dancing from very young age. While watching a movie based  on real life story, about a Latin singer Selena, gives us more hope that some people  with proper training and coxing at very young age can live a dream of their parent’s unfulfilled dream. Whatever the case is, training started early and young to become a huge singing sensation when she was in her 20s.

Today, in the Hollywood industry, there are so many actors and actress and who made it to the stardom also, are second, third or fourth generation of movie stars of yesteryear's. Their parents were in movie industry from that long. These new generation stars grew up watching, what their parents did and dreamt of becoming one day, as big as their parents or grandparents. Their ‘day dream’ became a reality after years of observation. But on the other hand, if you think otherwise on this matter, my earlier post on Its all in the Blood will help you to see it, from a whole different angle.

So it seems that early training from very young age, proper guidance, hard work and patience that help us to see green grass converting into milk, is what makes a genius not that high I.Q. which distinguish one from other.

However, there is one more core thing, in all this that we need to understand, when Thomas Alva Edison sat down on the eggs to see, how it hatches; he was not judged or scolded by his sister, who came to see him doing that. Michael Jackson had all family members, who loved singing and performing in front of public, therefore had huge support from all of them. Tiger wood, Jackie Chan, Selena had their fathers to encourage them in what they were doing. Warren Buffett’s father ran brokerage company. But JK Rowling, Daniel Craig were self inspired to get into what that wanted in life. N. R. Narayan  Murthy, those young Chinese gymnast and Robert Kiyosaki were inspired by their teachers/ mentors approached to be interested in what they aspired.

So, its more important in life; to find out what you love and want to do and keep doing what you want to do. But it would be a lot better, if you find those support and encouragement at your home. Start early and keeping doing what you love doing and one day someone somewhere will call you; you are genius !

Another genius of our our time, who was on the top of list of 100 most influential man in the last century, as compiled by TIMES, Albert Einstein says, “everybody is genius, but if we judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend it whole life believing its stupid.”

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Note : This post was already published in nepaliadvocate.com

What are you buying product or an advertisement ?

Last year around this time, I bought a bottle of Sunsilk after seeing its TV commercials, that featured seven world class hair experts. I was so convinced of it that its the most superior brand of shampoo in the market. However, it was not even close to what it claimed to be in its advertisements, because when I used it, it made sick to my stomach towards this brand, because the day I washed my hair, I got dandruff. It had taken me years to get rid from it, using its rival companies shampoo like Pantene and Head & Shoulders.  

Just like me, you must have watched the cute boy on TV commercial polishing his grandpa's shoes, when he is about to go out. But what is worth observing is, he brushes the black shoe polish more on his white tee shirt and light colored half pant and even on his face more than his grandpa’s shoes. Quite interestingly, his mom does not even scold him for messing his fresh dress like that. But should this surprise you ? because she is the TV commercial   mom, who is selling you - all the moms in the world who has clumsy yet adorable children like hers - detergent power,  who wants to help grandpa to polish shoes.

Before that advert, there was a boy, who falls more on the wet muddy ground, while playing football than he hits the ball to play. Again, his TV mom does not lose her cool, because she too is detergent powder selling mom.

Both TV commercial is Unilever product, advertising to sell its Surf brand. It seems they are teaching children to get dirty in subtle way, that even a smart watchdog can't do anything after it gets aired on TV. Therefore, they can keep selling mums their detergent powders, who have responsibilities to keep their children’s dress clean all the time. That's why they keep sending  message to mass that, dirt or stain is good.

I find Unilever's advertisement a little more provoking to my conscience, but I know this, its only to my sharp observation; because its their biggest strength and they do hire biggest advertising company to sell their products, who are well aware of the loopholes of the trend and know very well the weakness or strength of watchdogs as well as the buyers behavior.

If you pay close attention to their Fair & Lovely cream ads, it injects inferiority complex to brown colored girl like me. Its the bad luck to the corporate giant that, my weakness is not inferiority complex, at least not based on the color I am born with. I know that its not a disease and it sure can't be cured just because a multinational company like Unilever wants me to sell their fairness cream. They make the advertisements, showing fairer girls getting every imaginable success like a good career, a date with a dream boy or a good man to marry. We will be denied of all those things, if we don't use their cream,  which is secured only to those who have fair complex. Now, even their Vaseline healthy white is promising dusky brown colored Indian girls [women] to give them fairer skin instantly, that can happen only in imaginary world, but they are claiming it on broad daylight TV across the world, because they can do it.

To sell their body deodorant Axe, they are even showing women going crazy after good smelling men. Tell me which man doesn't want woman to go crazy, when they pass by them ? they are shown grabbing the butt of man, it would have offended if its man grabbing butt of woman but because she is the one who is grabbing his butt so watchdog must have got confused here what to do with this kind of advertisements. I am also hoping, you do remember the chocolate man, whom every hot and sexy babes wanted to take a bite from the place only a man can imagine, in his wildest dream. Oh, let me tell you he was converted into a dark chocolate after spraying axe, the dark temptation over his body, another product from Unilever.

Its not that, thousands of other companies are not advertising. They too have pressure to sell their product[s] to us. Then why Unilever feels most pressured to sell their brands like no other ? Fine, it has more products to sell than any other companies and due to its vast range it has competitors, which happens to be almost every other company in the market but its biggest rival is P & G for shampoo and face creams, that's why compared to other company its adverts has to have beep word in their ads, or has to show girls travelling trains and getting dust covered on their face, so that they need Lakme face wash, to wash their face, another brand of Unilever.

Colgate is its other rival company when it comes to toothpaste and its advertisement seems so obvious that, how frustrated it is, for not being able to beat its rival company. It really amaze me to watch that, Colgate still maintains the dignified rivalry with more convincing yet not much desperate ads to keep its number one position in its own area. In 2003 or 2004, Unilever had spend about 8 corod only to make the TV commercial on its closeup brands. This price does not include on how much they spent on playing that ad on TV or other mediums. Interestingly, I used to sing its catchy song, while I brushed my teeth with Colgate.

As if airbrushed ,exaggerated promise and lower price is not enough, Unilever also gives many freebies to sell its pepsodent and towel to sell its shampoo brands and many other products. I still have the towel with me but decided not to use its product, as its products did not proved any better than the brand I was using before.  

Lifebuoy always seem to be competing with Dettol soap on low range of soap to cater its huge middle class Indians or developing country like mine. Have you noticed, lifebuoy is trying to make us germ freaks in its ads. However, I avoid both products for making me scared of the germs that may not exist in real life, except in their ads.

They are also teaching girls to smear dirt on each others face - on the ad its the dark chocolate cake - so that they can sell their face wash faster than it actually moves. Its again Ponds face wash TV ads, another Unilever product.

My common sense tell me not to use Unilever brands, that’s why I avoid it to the max due to its overly airbrushed and high delivery of promise. However, huge middle class people do fall on easy traps of its net, it spread over them, which they injecting them through their ads like false pride, confidence and air brushed advert. Good packaging and good advertisement its huge strength too which makes it one of the biggest multinational company which sells its potential consumer almost everything  and if not that, they even feed the greed of the public like recently Fair & lovely is running an ad to give 5 corod to anyone whose expensive face cream is any better than theirs.

Feed the greed, to greed of public or infuse the confidence to the mass which they lack grossly in real life is what their advertisement is doing mainly.  They are selling anything, from toilet cleaner to tea, toothpaste to ice cream, making huge population hard to resist. But if you pay close attention then you will realize that, they are selling advertisements to its consumer than its products.

About six months before Kajol came on TV doing its Rin Brand commercial, challenging middle class housewives to use the detergent bar. What I could not help but notice is it was Kajol who seem to be Rin washed than the white dhoti she was wearing. Did you missed that ?

A couple of years ago adverts of Domex, toilet cleaner annoyed me to the max specially, when I sat down to eat my meal in front of TV. They were using all kinds of germs in toilet which I was never ever aware of its existence, to scare me to use their brand of toilet cleaner. Interestingly, despite pumping huge advertising budget to take the bigger pie of the existing brand, which is Harpic, they just could not buzz a bit to its rival product from Market, as Harpic still promotes its brand on its biggest strength to sell product not story as unilever's domex did. Now a days I can't even see its ads in the market, which may mean, they may not be producing and selling it anymore. I know this for sure, corporate giants like Unilever can't take risk not to advertise the product that is FMCG [ fast moving consumers goods] used on daily basis in every households.

Other companies product advertisements do meet what they commit on their commercials, but Unilever sells more of an ad than a promise its product can bring us. It seems to me that they have the arrogant attitude of being a giant and a presumption they can sell us anything. and they are right also they are selling anything I mean they really have been quite successful in selling their ads to us, otherwise who do you think made them corporate giant  like that ?

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This article has already been published in nepaliadvocate.com

Impact of Spoken Words

Having been grown up myself in Bal Mandir [ Children Home], here in Nepal and hearing all the negative comments from the caretakers in our childhood for years, which impacted our young subconscious mind profusely and observing its lasting impact in my grown up life; as well as on many of my well educated inmates from there, who could not make it big in their respective field, despite all the education they acquired. I can bet, all my money, that they are not even aware, why its so. But this observation has a lot to teach me the impact of  spoken words, that remains in subconscious mind forever,  which affects us in good or bad way in long run; longer than we can imagine.  

When I was there no one told me, you can make it, you can do it, you will do it, because you have the potential to make it big. Instead we had to hear, all the time dream and you ? with disgusting look on their face or disbelieve, if only the dreams were horses, even the beggars would ride them or the sweets for beggars ? were the lines, that was used more often. Good for me, I can't even remember all of it but what is left are the ones, no one should be hearing  in their life; because those words were the true curse, not the condition.

Mentioning of bible, Dr. Paul Yonggi Cho, writes in his book, the fourth dimension, “if you keep on saying that you are poor, then all of your system conditions itself to attract poverty and you will feel at home in poverty; you would rather be poor. But if you keep on saying that you are able, that your can achieve success, then all of your bodies would be bridled to success.”

People who believe that supportive family do shape our life, are right to some extent, if not entirely. Because, those supportive words and inspiration is something that will go and rest in our subconscious mind forever. It is said that, our conscious mind is the slave of our subconscious mind.

It is believed that the person who grew up like me [in orphanage], do not make it big in life or chances are slim that, we do live our life decently. I do remember reading this survey by a professor of sociology, from John Hopkins University who had done a survey of a slum in Baltimore. They studied about 200 youth there thoroughly about their conditions. Those students concluded in their report, that these youth from slum, will end up their life in prison, when they grow up.

After twenty five years later, the same professor sent another groups of student to follow up on his earlier study to the same slum in Baltimore. They succeed tracking down 160 of the 200 people. But to their surprise, they had turned into civilized men and were doing fine in their life. They wanted to know, why ? The students came to know that the 100 of youth had   gone to a same high school, where a teacher named Sheila O'Rourke was found in a nursing home in Memphis, who had taught this slum youth, which changed their life upside down proving wrong the prediction made by earlier group of students from the John Hopkins University.

This second group of students, went on extra miles to find the teacher; as they wanted to know what was her plan or how she did the impossible. Her response was very simple, I treated all my students during my time. I treated them with love and respect and there was no plan as you are thinking.  She was a religious person and was doing as she was influenced by Jesus and his teachings.

Well, the above study has a lot to teach us, about the mind set. The answer is yes, love and respect to youth and child has a lot to do to shape a life of a person and its not necessary that it has to start at home at very early age as believed by many psychologist that has the capacity to store things that is heard in our subconscious mind, but human brain is more powerful and its absorption power is huge, therefore it may happen at any age and any time those words can change a looser to an achiever.

This is why, I need to dig more and know everything about it. Is this, what we believe or there is some truth to it also ?

A most powerful religious leader [Christian] and international speaker Dr. Paul Yonggi Cho writes in his book, The Fourth Dimension “the spoken words has power, and when you release that word, it is the word, and not you, who performs miracles.”

How much it will effect the thought of a person will make more sense by this example : Hem was a young man, skilled in electrical fitting.  He was so good that he could finish a house wiring in just a couple of hour. One day a man, who was very well known and respectable in his area told him that, “you are going to be affected  by the disease of tuberculosis, because your parents also died of it.”  After hearing the news, the words kept echoing in his head and it started getting on his health in really bad way. he lost the taste of food and had no urge to do the work. which caused rise in temperature during night and when he surfed more books to know about the tuberculosis, he thought, he has the symptoms of it. in the next three months his health started deteriorated at unbelievable speed due to excessive worry on the news by the respectable old man, whom Hem believed blindly.

Finally, the day came and he had to go to see the doctor. when finally doctor took an X-ray, said, “you see your lungs are perfect and you take this medicine, you will be alright in a week.” To clear the air further from his mind the doctor also showed him the comparison of X-rays, with those who had the disease, then in a few days Hem regained his original health with spirit. One man’s words made him sick with worry and another man’s words of confirmation released him from his illness, which he had harbored.

Before running for the president of America, Abraham Lincoln had lost the election twice for senator’s seat; yet in third time he struck back with a bang and that was the turning point of his long run to the presidential position, and he went on to became one of the most famous president of America.

What makes them to keep fighting back ? what is the power behind the resilience ?

When Abraham Lincoln was a small boy, he saw a white colored house on his way back home. He asked his father about the house his father replied, it's the white house, where our president works and lives. Then he asked whether he could also work in that white house as a president ? His father replied, “of course, my son you can”. rest we all know the history.

During the late seventies, Korean neurosurgeons have found that, the speech center in the brain, rules over all the nerves. One of my all time favorite line from the book, Rich Dad Poor Dad is one dad said, as he believed, “the reason I am not rich is because I have you kids” and the other dad said, “the reason I must be rich is because I have you kids” Robert Kiyosaki admits in this book that it was the luxury to observe the power and effects of a different thoughts shaping the life as they believed. Because as they believed; their life ended exactly the same way, as they predicted or acted; and for this very reason this book is very readable and believable in every bit of the line this book talks about.

Another of my favorite quote from Rich Dad Poor Dad. Rich dad always believed that “I can't afford” sends mind in sleep mode, how can I afford gives a reason to exercise our brain. More we exercise more powerful our our brain will be.

Nobody can measure the power of thought, yet it is one of the most powerful force, that shapes our life. We need to know how to choose wisely our thought as its going to shape our whole life.

There is one proverb in Japanese, the power of sword, power of jewel and power of mirror. Mirror tells you, never underestimate three things in life, I, me and myself. If you look into the mirror you see yourself and then you will know the true value  of you. This only tells you to believe in you; yourself more important than any other person. Like that advertisement says, ‘I believe in me.’ Speak it loud and do it as much as you can do it, and see the difference it will make in your life.

How the scientist see it ? another line from the book the fourth dimension, a neurosurgeon said, “if someone keeps on saying, I am going to become weak, then right away all the nerves receives that message, and in reaction all the nervous system becomes weak as they have got the message from our central communication that we would become weak. they then in natural sequence adjust their physical attitudes to weaken.”

If we want a success in our life, we must change our negative language to positive one. The big question is where can we learn this language ?

To some its a religious book, as the Dr. Paul Yonggi Cho believes, and to some they find it at home in form of a mother or a wife or a life partner or  best friends or boss. Like attracts like, and so choose your friends or company wisely; if you want to achieve some thing in life.

But, to some to get the self belief and conviction is from family members and to some its God and from life itself. Everyone knows that, behind every successful man there is a woman. Women have been source of inspiration for men, for centuries. They come in all form like as mother, as wife, as sister, or a friends or a good teacher.

So, who you keep with you, to achieve your dream ?

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Note : this was first published on nepaliadvocate.com February 5, 2013

Root reason of Mahabharat

Mahabharat is a story of a royal family in Hastinapur [ India ] where you can see inferiority complex, ego, revenge, rivalry, conspiracy and so on; which is ultimately bound to collide with bigger battle one day or the other.

Inferiority complex : Dhritarashtra, who was born blind. With some exception, its been observed that, any kind of physical disability or other disorders [mental] leads one to feel inferior in front of others who are physically able. But, what has power to pull my attention in all this inferiority complex is, even if, he was born in a royal family; and not just a royal member but to a king. A would be heir to Hastinapur,  which was one of the biggest state in Bharat barsha at that time, as said in the story; his inferiority complex never subsidised. When he lost his crown to his younger brother Pandu to rule Hastinapur the grudge, hatred, anger and revenge took place in his mind and then onward he became so bitter that all his life was to fight for the crown, by hook or crook. So its clear that only  after losing the crown to his younger brother, he started cultivating severe inferiority complex.

But what is more interesting to pay attention in all his inferiority complex is, Pandu never did anything conscious or unconsciously to make him feel inferior or later on Pandava brothers almost never did anything to fuel to that thought of Duryodhan, but strange  as it may sound, it never doused by itself from the heart of those who cultivated it.

Dhritarashtra at one point speaks his mind, “I therefore always suffered from fear, anxiety, anger and jealousy.”

Sakuni was another reason why that inferiority complex never subsidised. Because he himself was the victim of inferiority complex. His side of story have power to intrigue me more than his brother-in-law’s reason to cultivate it. He felt humiliated just because Bhishma asked his elder sister’s hand to marry with Dhritrashtra, a blind person. How dare he to ask her sisters’ hand to marry a blind person ? Therefore he wanted to take revenge on the state of Bhisma governed. Remember, Ghandhari accepted the offer to save  her father and brother from the potential disgrace or to avoid the possible future attack on their state. So, she accepted the proposal to marry with Dhritrashtra, without carrying much grudge on anyone.

Once Ghandhari was married to the Dhritarashtra Sakuni also came to stay in Hastinapur. Even though he himself was the heir to one of the state at that time, but, he left it all to his son’s care. All he did is to constantly fueling fire in the  heart and mind of Dhristrand, that he has been the victim of injustice from the political logic of Bidur, a wise man of that time. His reasoning was that,  a blind man needs to be protected from others so, how can a state expect from its rulers, if the ruler cannot give them the sense of protection at times of need ?  This single reasoning became the fact for him not to be the king of hastinapur, despite the tradition that the oldest son would inherit the state.

And as if he staying and fueling the mind of his brother-in-law was not sufficient for Sakuni. Once, they have their son Duryodhana, he started muddying his mind also from very young age, with his dark vision and intention. He started plotting so many conspiracy for the Pandavas one after another purely to dethrone them from the power.

Here I would like to mention one more thing that stands so tall in the story, inferiority complex got carried away with the second generation also by the one who was suffering from all this. Dhritrashtra a blind man, who was suffering from severe inferiority complex after losing his crown to his brother, due to his physical disability it, and the Sakuni who saw opportunity of fulfilling  his dream merely used him as a tool to get what he wanted to do in his life, take revenge with  Bhishma or to the state of Hastinapur.

Duryodhan was also suffering from the same kind of inferiority complex, which his father was suffering. If Pandu could see and rule the state then his sons were wiser, super talented, and braver than   Duryodhan and Dushason or for that matter whole of Kauravas, who were in the side of Duryodhan. Their clean image, their brilliance and intelligence, their talent and the story of their bravery was also the reasons which kept fueling the mind of   people who were suffering from inferiority complex. What we can't ignore here is, the Pandava brother never did anything intentionally to show their superiority or hit their fragile self esteem. It was just inbuilt qualities of them that became a stark difference between Pandava and Kaurava. One did not needed to do anything, yet it became the core reason behind the big fight.

Ego : There are some people who never try to spoil our mind saying  that ego, is the root reason of the fall of greatest people on earth, ego in fact, push people to the new height. Indeed its the fragile self esteem or inferiority complex combined with so called dream like the dream of Dhritrashtra or Duryodhan to be the king of Hastinapur. I remember a line from Bruce Lee, “Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality. The spirit Bruce Lee puts in his statement have is a lot difference than the attitude shown by father /son in the story of Mahabharata. We see almost the same kind of mentality in the Dhritarashtra and Duryodhana, but; there was no option for them to go in another area but fight for the lost crown by any means possible. If we get things like that, through open competition, but that too was not acceptable to them. So, they started teaming up Sakuni, the mastermind of evil thought, whose brain was so fertile when it comes to dark plans to get materialized. But let me repeat it ego is not the problem but the fragile self esteem combined with defeated mentality.

Revenge :  Taking revenge on someone is showing the seed of revenge, Dronarcharya kept the grudge against the Drupad, his childhood friend for failing to remember and then fulfill the childish conversation, which they had of sharing the kingdom with Dronacharya. To douse his insult but he forgot that similar revenge would be in the mind of king Draupa. Insult bleeds hate, anger and jealousy. Dronacharya spend his time and energy training his students to make them able to defeat King Drupad, who in turn sought the assistance of holly person to take revenge on Dronacharya . All such revenge and the counter revenge culminated into a big battle that happened in the name of Mahabharat. Again this was the reason of low self-esteem carried out by the royal guru Dronacharya. He used to preach his students not to carry ego but on the other hand he was the one who have been living with one mission in his life to take revenge with another.

The single physical disability of Dhritrashtra combined with his blindness of mental, ethical, spiritual is the root reason of a big fight we know in the name of Mahabharat.

Equal right issue is not a political issue

Is this injustice to women or they are not capable ? a Facebook status asked this question. This was in regard to women winning just 10 seats in constitutional assembly’s election that was held in November 19, 2013.  

My reaction to this was different. As for me equal gender issue is not political or judicial issue, therefore we should not seek its answer in politics. I don't see women being invited in any talk shows for open debate ? Is that political issue ? This is the reality of our society which indicates the mentality of our society as a whole. No wonder if we can see almost all aspect of our life in form of lack of presence of women in power positions. Therefore, I  think this is not the injustice to women nor we are incapable than men.

I disagree with those who try to mix the gender equality rights with issue like equal treatment as a human being, such as color, caste, creed, disabled, and other minorities. Talk of gender equality has nothing to do with equal right issue as human being.  We must be very clear on this issues first, before we sit on the table for open and hot discussion for gender equality.

“Male and female should have an equal participation on constitution forming body. There are some delicate issues - males can't understand about women and women can't understand about men....” Anand Nepal respond to my post on own status.  I totally agree  with his reasoning as that is not even the matter of disagreement. I am only saying this is not political issue.

Even though it may sound same to some, talk of gender equality and equal rights issue are not the same. Because both gender has color, caste, creed, disabled, many other minorities issues to sort out in-between, around the world; which makes it a whole lot of different issue in so many ways.

However, every time I read a piece of article on women's right or a talk show on Nepali TV, I get a view that first there are men and then there are women, disables, minorities and indigenous right. Its not men who keep rattling this like parrot without even giving it much thought, that they are their on the national media to give voice to those who are confused about this subject but, what is even more frustrating is, its the women's right activists who are invited on TV do not know the difference between these core thoughts, which sounds almost the same to them. Women rights activist who came on TV seem to be saying this ‘women, disabled, minorities and indigenous’ when they are talking about the women's right issue. If we have  people with confused understanding on such topic on the TV screens or on the pages of national dailies, who do not have clarity in thinking about the subject matter they are talking about then; who will give the clarity in thinking to the confused mass on this very controversial subject ?

When equal rights vocalist like me, challenge the norms men carry, “we are superior sex” attitude they think this is the sign of sickness. In my recent facebook status when I  posted : I am not complaining if the literacy rate in Nepal is 51.4% women against 72.2% literate men. What I complain is that we can't even see 5% of women's presence in media, when they try to find some solutions that persist in our day to day life. As if men of my society have all the answers. This gender brassiness is not political issue, this is mentality of men of our society.

I can say without hesitation that men in media are afraid to invite brilliant and intelligent women in open discussions on national television channels. They think it's beneath their dignity, if women are smarter than them when the the whole country finds logic in a question they raise. That's why tour media maintains a thundering silence on gender equality issue. Some shamelessly blame politicians for this saying this is political issue.

I got a very sharp comments on this, saying this is just a ranting from a woman and nothing more than empty vessel making noises. The comment was posted by Aavas Karma a staff of Indian Embassy, who works in literary and cultural section.  His comment is just another indication of how educated men in our society think and then react about  gender equality issue. When he got sharper opinion from me he wished me “get well soon”. Then I replied him, “This is what is more sickening than anything, when men think we are sick when we talk about equal right issue.”

Next day he deleted all his comments as well as delisted me from his friends circle.

As a woman who is a hardcore feminist with sharp mind, I will not feel comfortable to say that we are superior sex. Even as an equal right vocalist, I say we are equal gender and there should not be sexual biases in this discussion. Men should not have any reservation accepting this and if any we still get struck on this reservation then we are not even focusing on equal gender right. The talk will then derail from down the path.

If I say I am superior than the other sex, it only displays my own inferiority in front of the other sex and the own who is claiming it covering that insecurities and inferiority in different facade; instead of simplifying it. No doubt, there will be more discussion rather that focusing on the real point, which is gender equality.  

Average men suffer from low self confidence and their insecurities soar high when they have to give credit to women for what they deserve for they being deserving candidates. Some believe man's ego is their real ID, but; we need to separate the ego of man and gender equality issue. This topic should not clash with talk of ego, because this is not who is better or who is smarter. This is our ability to accept both sex importance in our society which we can’t deny in any way and must get equal right in all aspect of life, rather than one trying to get bigger pie from it.

Some men reason that, “Women empowerment - should come from within.” and I totally agree with this thinking. But first our society which is very much inspired by religious books  have brainwashed girls/woman in such a way that they have lost all the confidence to lead life independently or even face the brute men. However, I am forced to think at times when I see those women; must we act like customized computer and not get our own thinking on this matter ? When are we going to take needed step to tell men that we are different in so many ways yet equal gender, none of us are better or smarter than another sex.

Men and women are a whole lot of different in terms of physical structure as well as they are differently wired in their brain also. Men are more stronger physically and women are better at multitasking but this does make one superior or other inferior. Both comes with different sets of pros and cons. Different way of thinking does not make one superior and another inferior, its just the different opinion. Then the question is why men think they are superior than women ? Why men take it too personally and keep telling women are weaker sex ? Physical strength has nothing to do with mental strength and who needs in today time to carry loads on their shoulder to win the prize for being a superior sex ?

Why men keep trying to seek their own identity in being mere security blanket for women or the free ticket to meal ? Talk of gender equality do not challenge this norms. Is being financial provider and protector puts them in superior position ? Does this gives them right to make rule for women in their life and suddenly it becomes societal rule bar like 'Laxman Rekha' ? What I don't understand is, talking about gender equality do not intend to ignore their importance in our life. We just need to find more harmony in this society for better life and for that we have to find our importance even if we have to face some people who carry stone age mentality who keep denying the open debate on this matter.

Troubled Souls

Long time back, I have read a story in our school book, why can't we see Yamraj [the death God]. The story goes like this; in earlier days humans could see Yamraj, the god of death. One day a man caught him up, and then locked him in a dark room, when he came to take him away, after his time finished on earth. Since then, there was only birth but no death. Needless to tell, after that old, sick and ailing people were the one who suffered most. People aged but no one died. Then one day, one god came and rescued the Yamraj and from that moment on; he started taking people from earth, without we, ever being able to see him.

In Hindu religion, its believed that, when we die Yamraj or his assistants will come down on earth to take us to the ‘yamlok’, before he decides where we go, heaven or hell. Lets not focus here, what is my personal believe in this subject matter, at least for the moment. This is what I heard and this how, I grew up hearing and listening all the time in our mythology stories; as all the story spinning around it, including in comedies shows, he came to take dead people with him.

What the above story says and what the next true story says, which I read recently has very vast difference in its nature. No wonder, I am also trying to understand what is the meaning, we can derive after reading this story. Who come down on earth to fetch away people after their death ? This particular story, really hammered my conscience, and preconceived notion about it, when I the story from a granddaughter about her own grandfather. This story is indeed told, from the real life experience of the dead mans maid named White, which she later on shared it with her granddaughter [ the writer of the story].

John Chester Craven was a railway Engineer of L. B & S. C Railways, who lived his life in Yorkshire, England. The writer of the story describes her grandfather, as the one who was devoid of sentiments, whose god was money and railroads,  he had no interest at all outside of that. She also described him as someone, who had cyclonic rage; who possessed uncontrollable temper and he was a tyrant too. She was very much emotionally detached from her fathers family, as he died when she was very young. No wonder, if she finds her grandmother too very cold and she described her; the one who was as unemotional and unsmiling woman, she had ever seen in her life. After the death of her father, she was raised by her mother.

M. C. Maude’s grandfather took an unbelievably long time in dying. White, the maid who attend Mr. Craven, when he was on deathbed; narrated the whole story to young girl [ she was seventeen then], “listen, miss Maude, your grandpapa was fetched away by that poor boy [Alfred] he mishandled so shamefully years ago. Its a gospel truth and Mr. william came along to be company for his brother, why he should mix himself up it beats me.” White, continues further three months before the death every day, at around eight o’clock at night, Mr. Craven felt, his sons were waiting outside his door to fetch him away.

The day he died around one in the morning, the three ladies and a maid who were there to look after him, heard ‘Hallo !’ from outside. At first, they tried to dismiss it, saying its a cat or a drunkard, but then again same sound came and then one more lauder and clear call to make it valid, that its not just the buzz in the ear but its more that that.

At that point Mrs. Craven sent White, her personal maid, as she related the story to the granddaughter, who was taking care of Mr craven; to see what's there under the dressing room window, which is making that kind of disturbing sound. When she looked out of the window, to her horror and surprise; she finds that the small boy with a skipping rope accompanied by his brother William [ father of the writer of ‘To fetch him away’ ghost story] who died when she was very young. It seems that the maid had seen William before he died but she was not working for this family when the young boy was beaten mercilessly by his own father.

Its necessary for me to mention here at this moment that, the young boy Alex had died on the sixth day after he ran away from his home, because he was brutally and mercilessly beaten by his father [ Mr. Craven] with a rope, and it seems that a skipping rope at the tender age of ten, when he by mistake; tore one of the most valuable drawing of his father. His second son William died at the age of 35.

The maid concludes her narration to the writer, “miss Maude Mr. Alfred and Mr. William fetched their father away, I saw them as clearly as I see you. I don't know, why they were allowed to come back and fetch Master, when he found such comfort in the twenty third psalm and have regretted enough for being the slave driver with the railwaymen.”

The above story narration by the maid to the granddaughter of the man, she took care for so many years, tells us the different side of the story, about our age old believe or lets say the way we are conditioned to believe, what we normally believe, about the life after death.

I personally would not have believed this story, If its was not the story of her own family member; which can be seen in a book by M. L Chauhan under the title ‘to fetch him away’. I found Maude M. C. ffoulkes, uninteresting and in her own words ‘dreamer of the dreams’ or at times in other of her story, ‘her mom wondering looking up in the sky and murmuring, why she have such child. In her other ghost story, she forgot that it, is a true story, she let her imagination fly high and she is very much interested in ghost and supernatural subject. Let me tell you here clearly, ghost may be invisible but its invisibility does not make it fall on the ‘supernatural’ subject.

Existence of hell is something, all the religion belief and its mention in Hindu books or many other religious book with such explanation that no one can argue, unless one choose not to open the true eyes, to understand; what all had been written in this subject matter. See What is in the Ved by Dr. Swami Prapannacharya [p. 256].

I could not help notice in this story, one more thing, the young boy’s soul was troubled even after his death and his father’s soul was troubled for long time before his death for what he did to his young boy, which caused his death. The writer was troubled by her fathers family's side and what to say about the maid, who had to look after the most dominating man with cyclonic rage, who was eluded by death, long before the death actually came to take him.

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Note : Maude M. C. ffoulkes is an English writer and a novelist, her  ghost stories can be seen in ‘true ghost story my M. L. Chauhan.

This post has already been published in nepaliadvocate.com