What you should know about safe ... ?

SRHR awareness training
picture curtest - Youth action Nepal

The core issue of our society has been lack of understanding and sensitivity towards girls/women who has to experience the menstruation flow not just for the first time but every month. This is also one of the most debated topic in our dailies and still this needs more open discussion. Because, during period she is told not to go to temple or some ‘pure places’ not to enter in kitchen and touch this and that as well as do this and that.

How bad the condition of awareness in our society ?

In some remote part of the country young girls or women are sent to cowsheds to sleep during those four days. That tradition do not change even if it's cold and raining outside. ‘Chaupadi’ is the taboo of menstruation in our society. We keep reading about it in our national dailies and this is one of the things that needs to be addressed properly.  Taboo, stigma are our main target areas to work in when it comes to gap the age old norms about the belief ;that revolves in menstruation. 

What every girl should know about the deadly virus as well as safe sex ?

What every girls and women needs to know about AIDS / HIV is, when a man emits sperm into her body, he spreads the deadly virus into her. Unlike other sexually transmitting disease, women do not spread it. She is the recipient of it and he is the giver of it. That is one of the reason women should be more aware of sexually transmitting disease. This is why it's makes it more important to know about the sexual and reproductive health. If she is aware of it she may be more careful during sexual activity.

Does safe sex mean protecting us from STDs only ?

That would be a mistake to presume that safe sex means to protect you and your partner from sexually transmitted disease. This also means to protect you from unwanted pregnancy. There are times in a month both sex can be sexually active but not get pregnant at the same time.  According to mum’s junction, “Safe period is from day 1 to 7 and day 21 to the rest of the cycle, when you can have sex without worrying about getting pregnant.”

Whether you know about safe sex or not the emission of sperm from a man into your body will not protect you from the sexually transmitted disease. Safe sex is a knowledge of the time when you can practice sex without using any protective yet not be the victim of unwanted pregnancy. There may be time this knowledge may not protect you from the victim of unwanted disease. That is why it's better to know about the contraception and use of it. The best way is to avoid the sex with unknown man.

What you should know about safe sex and condom ?

According to the US department of Health and Human service, even if men use condom, “of 100 couples each year whose partners use male condoms, about 18 women may get pregnant. Condoms are more effective at preventing pregnancy when they are used correctly and when you use them every time you have sex.”

Safe Abortion

Now in Nepal the abortion has been legalized despite there are people who still try to link it fetus murder. To avoid the fetus murder the would be mother was allowed to have safe abortion under  three terms only.

• When the pregnancy is only 12 weeks old.
• When the pregnancy is 18 weeks old and the fetus is diagnosed with serious health hazard
• Or if bearing the child can pose serious health threat to the would be mother.

SHRH awareness program for college students
picture curtest - Youth Action Nepal

What is the connection between period and pregnancy ?

Period which is the monthly flow of blood from all girls/ women is a sign that now she is capable of making new life, if she comes in  contact with a man. But for that new life she must be in a sexual contract with a boy.

Do girls get pregnant before period also ?

There are some cases reported like this. But, such case happens only if she has been sexually abused long before her mind and body is fully able to grasp what is going on in her life.

Is period blood is impure as believed by some conservative mass in our society ?

The person who perceived this notion is ignorant when it comes to reproductive science. He is made of same blood you and I are born and it's the same period blood we are made of. In that contest do you want to believe you, I or he is impure ?

If period blood is bad and impure and yet we are healthy when we were born, does this mean the sperm works as a detergent agent to clean the blood ?

Sperms do not act as a detergent agent nor it purifies blood; so that the we can have a healthy child. During the sexual intercourse a normal healthy emits 300 - 500 millions of sperms. What all these millions of sperms do is to travel to find an egg so that a new life can be formed. Do you know of that millions of sperms, only 100 sperms reach to the egg. But, only one sperm can enter into an egg.

Youth Action Nepal is an NGO which works in the SRHR area and this is one of the core thematic issue of the NGO also. So, I really wanted to know what have you done ? I met Mr. Santosh Bhandari, Program Coordinator to give me some insights of the work that has been going on . on ground level since long. It's a lot different than reading Dr. Aruna Uprety and Rameshwory Panta. These two are the one who has strong voice and they do  advocate of girls and women real condition in our society and they write about it in our media. They  raised voice on it but there are some NGOs who work on field in different level to tear the generation gap than which is better like that saying action is better than the reaction.  We had ran 104 episodes of radio programs in all five districts of the country he answered to my curiosity. Further, he made it clear that the true intention of such program was to tear the taboo, stigma as well as to aware the youth and adolescence on Sexual Health and Reproductive Rights. This program tries to answer all the question which an adolescent or youth has to face in this matter.  The biggest challenge any NGO like us face is to tear the generation gap and age old culture that grips our society very badly. To gap the generation, education and awareness level has to be wide and long term. The age old belief and cultural value of the society is not going to change overnight so we must keep working on this line relentlessly.

Mr. Santosh Bhandari, and Punya Bhandari  being
interviewed about the SHRH issues in one of the
radio program that ended in 2016

Behavior change is long term process and we can't expect it to happen overnight.

Aau Sangai Kura Garau : Radio program aired areas and FM station where it was aired.

1. Saptarangi FM - Jhapa
2. Radio Dhangadi - Kailali
3. Radio Simara - Bara
4. Radio Madan - Pokhara
5. Radio Hamro Pahuch - Dang

Subhani Banu The Famous Beads Designer

Shubana in her showroom, doing
what she knows best

When I visited Shabab’s Chura Pasal located at Naxal, Chardhungel; I was so fascinated with Shubana’s creative brain. It was more than what I have heard of her creative work before I have entered in her showroom. After some talks they showed me some of their works. More I see more I admired her ability to convert colorful but lifeless beads into so lovely shapes and eye catchy designs. I asked her some simple questions to know the famous designer and she answered so willingly.  

How long you have been making beads ?

It's been more than twenty five years I have been running this store. Before that my father used to run it. So, I have been doing this ever since I was very young.

Q : Who taught you ?

A : It was our family business. So it's my parents who taught me. But they work only on plain beads making unlike me. For me creativity came naturally and more I made more it was liked by our customers.

Q : Do you teach beads making to others ?

A : Teaching is part of my job. I have been teaching it ever since I started looking this store.   I have taught it to many girls and women who did not even know how to handle needle and beads. But they have been still working with me. Now my daughter joins me in teaching our forty plus designers. She is also a very good beads designer.

Hair clip made my beads

Q : Who comes up with the new design for the next season or fashion ? are all your designs or they your workers also comes up with new designs ?

A : Me and my sister Sitara comes up the most complicated designs that comes up so naturally to us. My sister do not come to the store however she helps me up from her home. Now, even my daughter Shabab has come up with her own designs and that is very different than mine and my sister.

Q : Is there any particular designs that you are proud of coming up or that sells more than other ?

A : I take pride in most of our designs and most of what we come up have be well received by our customers until now so it's not that easy to pinpoint one particular design, in terms of both pride and sells wise.

Q : Do you have anything lasting memory about your design or career decision in your work line ?

Shabab [ Subhana's Daughter] with her staff,
helping them to understand
yet another designs from her

A : Fifteen years ago I woman name Milu Thapa approached me to take part in Teej exhibition. She used to see me daily working in my store, every day when she went to her office. I was not sure about taking part in any event and she also had no such experience in such exhibition before. We  took the chance and then decided to have one such event in Shangrila Hotel a week before Teej. What I remember is that day it was raining and the exhibition was at the garden of Shangrila Hotel. People came and I sold all my beads within three hours. I made 20,000 sales in that three hours. It was hard to believe. I have never ever seen such huge money. For me that twenty thousands was as huge as 20 lakh today. Since then, it's no looking back and I still take part in those exhibition every year and this year it will be 16th year I have been taking part in that kind of event. We still sale highest in teej time. Such sale and even was the milestone in my career as beads designer and that boosted my confidence so high.

Chick Peas Pickle

white chick peas - Soaked 

What ingredients are needed to make a chick peas pickle  ?  Here are the  ingredients  we need for serving of 6 - 8 people.

• 100 grams of white chickpeas [ over night soaked]
• 15 leaves of mint
• Asafoetida a pinch
• Green chilli 3 - 4 pieces
• Garlic 4 - 5 cloves
• Lemon one medium size

• How to convert all the above ingredients into pickle ?

• Put everything into a grinder and grind it well.
• Squeeze the lemon juice on it and mix it in a bowl.

Now, your pickle is ready !

The recipe is shared by Ramina Bajracharya. She is a fashion designer, a mother,  a housewife and food lover herself. She belongs to Newar community, who are well known for their culinary art as they have mastered the art to tease the taste buds of  gourmet.

Editors note : originally this was published in Pickle Factory.

My weak throat and my love for spicy food

Jwano

I have a weakest throat. To be honest this is the weakest part of my body. This is the body part that makes me sick and bed rest than any other sickness. If fever gets me on bed then it has to be my throat which is the reason behind this.

I used to drink just boiled water for very long time. If I did not boiled it that too 20 minutes after it boiled then drinking that water made me sick. Again the blame goes on my weak throat.

It took me long time to find out about the root cause of my sickness. It also took me almost equal time to remember the name of my disease called pharyngitis. Many of you if you are not familiar about the term pharyngitis then for easy to understand it, it's about the itchiness in your throat wall, sure that makes you cough a lot. If you ask your friend to look into it then he/she will be able to tell you the throat is red and there are plenty of wounds that has yellow in its centers.

There was time this was the only sickness that sends me to doctor, every year. He used to give me three types of medicines, an antibiotic, tablets for  fever and then some tablets for antiallergy. I thought the disease name is fancy so the medicine also has to be fancy. But he never gave me fancy medicine nor he ever gave me some cough medicines.

Some time back I read in Reader’s Digest, roasted ginger is good for sore throat. After finding about ginger and its usefulness in my throat I used to eat it instead of visiting a doctor when my throat made me sick. Knowing there is no side effect of it I used to roast many small sliced   ginger and then chewed it all day. It used to sooth my throat. In the beginning it used to work on my case but not now. Perhaps, it is because I found the other home remedies with faster effect on me than ginger. Its called Jwano.

Here I need to tell you my eating habit also. I love hot and spicy foods. Citrusy and acidic fruits with hot chilli are my favourite pickles. Plain and bland foods just gives me message that I may be sick or only sick people should eat the tasteless food. I add chilli so much on my curry and pickles it burns my pee yet I won't stop adding it.

Some may say I am ruthless on my sick throat. But that is not true. For that I cure it with honey. Honey is good for my mouth as well as it reduces my pee burning.

I live in city center yet I avoid visiting Doctor to the max. Sometimes I feel may be I am bit abnormal than those who visit doctor with a flue or take lots of medicine from the counter. That I do not do. What I have seen is more I stay away from doctors more I am healthy. It's just I keep finding some home remedies  that helps me to keep distance with doctor.

Once my throat was sick for long time, longer than it normally should last, like more than a month. Eating roasted ginger was not helping not even increasing the dose of it was helping me. I had no option but to take some medicine from the store. Bad news was taking medicines did not help me nor my throat as it was not showing the sign of relaxing. Instead it made me cough more severely. Then after a month and a half later an old lady where I go to buy vegetables on weekly basis suggested me to take jwano powder three times a day. All I have to do is to dry fry Jwano and then make its power. Then take half spoon three times a day, she had suggested me to take a spoon but I took only half spoon as it's so bitter. When I tried it, it cured my throat in just three days.

From that day on I am using jwano and recommending everyone to use it when they face itchy throat. As for my cold I learned recently that salted water with dash of timur is good for it. Because I love the scent of timur so the fast recovery was physiologic too !

Winter Project II

Ashram boys in Pokhara

This year I wanted to reach out at least 200 children [ 100 percent up from my last years project ] or 15 children homes whichever meets the target first to give handmade caps, neck warmers and books for children . 


To meet the target we needed more girls and women to come out and knit for our project.  For that organizing volunteers meet for knitting was must. It was a training program mixing up with kind hearted girls/women. The idea of learning something new encouraged the volunteers to came in for the event more.  I taught them with the hope that I get products in time. However I learned soon that they were in to learn more than to knit for children. Sure enough, we did find some girls/women with heart of gold. I am sure you must have read the blind knitter.

Ashram boys in Kavresthali

All this started in Chitwan where I had gone for a dashain holiday. My brother helped me to raise fund and also gathering women in a church to knit for charity. When it was ready one of the children home which received the warmers was the one the very same church was running. There in Chitwan we could give to two children homes, total of 20 children. In Kathmandu we covered five children homes, total of more than 100 children after that we went to Pokhara where we covered two more children homes - almost forty children.

Children always loves
good story books

Our target is to reach 200 children with our books for children as well as and lovely warmers this year.

Rising hope children home
 in Sana Gaun Lalitpur

How we raised fund for this ? Many friends who reads me in my facebook and keep seeing my post were the ones who gave me money so that I can continue my work and my brother also joined me to help me raise funds so that we can meet the target. He being a pastor came handy for me. He alone was able to raise  funds for more than 70 children  from  speaking in two church.

In the beginning for an easy fund raising I went to  my Ex-boss.  As he is one of the richest man I know. He is  a multimillionaire.  I knew my entire project cost was nothing compared to the assets he has accumulated. But, deep down I also knew he would say NO on my face. As expected he did exactly what was so predictable. He said it with less fanfare. I can't at this time stay in touch after some time. I also have some friends who are rich enough to support my project but they also come out with some excuse.

Baby Life Home Kirtipur

However, I am glad to tell you despite all that I did meet my target. Yes it was not a cakewalk but a good learning that, there are some work which can be done without the support of multi millionaire or some well off people. I am sure that I am very clear what I want to do. So, no ones NO is going to stop me.

eager children reading colorful
story book in Pokhara

This project would not have been a complete success if Ashma Aryal a blind TV journalist had not come into the project as volunteer. She coordinated with all the volunteers who took part in volunteers meet for knitting in Kathmandu and later on whenever any volunteers wanted to knit she would be the linking point between me and the keen volunteer. Not just that she also helped me to pick many children homes. Just like Ashma there was another volunteer Ashma felt very connected with for her good heart and tireless work. Her name is Shova Pudasaini, resident of Nepaltar, Kathmandu. She alone knitted enough for a small children's home which size is ten children in it. During all this time Ashma never make me feel that she is blind herself as she never allowed her blindness to stop her do what she wants and can.

Mercy Home - Pokhara

There are so many people to be thankful for in life for all their good work and generous heart who made it possible for me to meet my target to reach out 200 children and touch lives.

A blind knitter

As a mission to make 200 caps and neck warmers this winter season which will go to many children's homes here in Nepal, I need many women who are ready to volunteer. To meet the target on time, I started organizing many Volunteers Meet for Knitting programs in many cities in Nepal. First it started in Nippani, Chitwan. A church provided space for the event and helped gather women to volunteer. Not just that, this church in Nippani also helped raise fund for wool as well. With the help of my pastor brother and his friends in this church, they helped us to raise fund for 50 children which is a 25 percent of our total target this year.

This event will take place in Kathmandu in the mid of November was already fixed before we organised one such event in Chitwan in October. Here, we organised the event in association of an NGO, Yuwalaya Youth Resources center which is a part of a Youth Action Nepal. In both city volunteers came in with two basic reasons. One to make it for children who are less privileged than us. The other reason  for volunteers to take part in  it was  a desire to learn.

During the last couple of weeks, I have encountered many good hearted women, in both age group young and middle aged. They came to knit for children as well as to learn new patterns as well as better techniques than they knew before. Luckily I could  meet the both expectations from the volunteers in both city.

Sometimes we meet some people in life and when we meet we are just spell bound to that person for who they are and what they do in life.  I met Sabitree Poudel  as a volunteers during the event that took place in Yuwalaya - Youth Resource Center, Min Bhawan, Kathamndu.  She is such a delight of knowing as an individual. She is a masters student of sociology who study in PK Campus. And when she is not just a student, she teaches computer in National Rehabilitation Center for Disabilities which is where she works. Perhaps that is not a complete introduction of her until I tell you she is a total blind girl. She surprised us knitting perfectly; yes  one straight one backward too without a mistake. She knits perfectly despite her eyesight hindrance. Because of what she did for our project, I felt obliged to teach her couple of easy patterns which she can use in most of her knit works as well as she can remember it well. I taught her [ well I explained her allowing her to touch the work I was talking] one of my favourite pattern which I use mostly.She learned it fast and next day I saw her with another woman, teaching her a pattern which I I would have thought ‘she could not have learned it’.  But who am I; to think what she can and what she can't. She already have proved me wrong by knitting with my thinking - you need eyesight to learn knitting.

And she did it perfectly.

When she was doing the new pattern she also surprised me saying I have made mistake at one place and when we checked there was a mistake. Do you really need eye to find mistake in your work ?

When I am thankful to all the volunteers in both places I am specially thankful to another volunteer, Jandhavi Dhakal who sat down with Sabitree and taught her so patiently when all others were too busy on the work they had in their hands. I am also thankful to Ashma Aryal who is another half blind young friend of mine and who coordinated with all the volunteers for this event.

More to be thankful in life.

What I learned after Meeting Richard

Newly painted home

Richard Ivy and his three team members came from US, Arizona here in Madhavpur, Chitwan for about a week. It was a week's stay in which they have finished painting the Nabin Children’s Home in a week’s time. This kind of fast act and work is almost unthinkable for average Nepali, unless; it's the work of ginie.

In his team there was one not too old couple, Robert and Debbie, who looked in their mid fifties, and a college student Rene Chavez. Rene helped painting the house while Robert and Debbie Kiel was busy praying whole week. When I sat down with them over a lunch on the last day, Robert said, during this time he had seen some miracles of people being cured from disease that seemed unrepeatable. Robert made it more easier for me to understand it; saying they were ‘emotionally healed’. I believe in healing that takes place in church or under tent organized by Christians. I believe you too will believe in emotional healing, if you are familiar with the term psychosomatic disorder.

Research shows 80% people who are in hospitals, are there; because they think - all the time - they are sick. More you think about your sickness, more it gets you. This is called psychosomatic.

When all the other People were excited about the new paint in the house, Richard was thinking beyond the new look and paint for the house. His prime focus was to treat the roof first, He had observed that it leaks during rainy seasons. He knew water seepage, spoils ceiling, decays the house faster than its time. He wanted to stop it all.  He also wanted to treat the roof for the accumulated moulds from years which he thought was absorbing heat so much from sunlight that was making the children home hotter in part of the country like Chitwan.

He went to the market looking for a chemical called borack [?]. When we did not find that chemical in small city like Narayanghat, he managed to get it done by vinegar. The workers poured about 20 liters of vinegar on the rooftop, once it was scrubbed properly with steel wire to get rid from the moulds. Vinegar, will stop moulds reappearing anytime soon. After that they painted white weather coating to stop the leakage and also to reflect the sunlight to stop absorption of heat. I asked the store owner how much temperature it reduces ? He said about 5 degree Celsius.

His focus was not just the paint that our eyes see instantly  but to protect the home from future seepage, heat  and decay also. I have not heard Sukdev talking about all this not even for his new home.

How come you know so much about painting ? I asked him. Because I have made mistakes many times while painting my house that's why I know all this, was his prompt response.

Project was Under budget : at the last day of project, he said he is under budget now, when there was plenty of work to be done.  First, time when he went to the market he realised he had sufficient money with him, as he had got the quotation on highest side.  But, once the work started he was surprised that people add so much water on paint and they go for double coating, instead of single like in US. There was no plan to paint doors and windows but new paint on the wall automatically demanded the fresh paint on doors and windows. And the  kitchen counter needed properly tiled to protect the newly painted wall.

without paint

Another reason for this under budget is use of nonprofessionals to paint the house instead of   professionals who were needed to do this work on time.

Richard did not like the color my  brother choose to paint the house. He went three shade darker than the color I do not like. Richard and I seemed to go for the softer color whereas Sukdev preferred  darker color mainly for exterior look.  Here the Richard’s take on it helped me to get things a lot better than being control freak for things that is not going as you wish.

Its his house, let him have it; his way, he said. My response was it's not his house its children’s home [ it was his home before they shifted to new home about seven years ago].

There were so many things that was not going as it was expected before. Even then the house   painting was almost done and it looked beautiful.

I asked him looking at what you have in front of you are you happy now ?  Yes, I am happy; his response was fast. Do you think it's worth coming here and doing all things ? he said, yes with a big smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes.

Back in his homeland Richard is a very successful architecture. He runs his consulting company  with the help of a dozen team members. At 70 year his physical frame may look frail but he is as active as a man in his thirty and his brain runs faster than a computer when  it comes to seeing a big dream for this children home my brother runs here in Madhavpur Chitan. He is scared at times. Maybe, just maybe; he might lose the race against time when it comes to doing all the things he wants to do here for this children home before he dies. He says there is a lot to do. His fear may have something to do with his mother, who died just a week before he landed in Nepal. He has a father who is 93 year old and lives in Virginia. When he returns to US, he has to go back to virginia to see his father and then take back four days road trip to be in his hometown in Arizona. Before, he left for Nepal, his hectic time schedule kept him busy almost breaking his back.

He goes to Two Rivers Church in Arizona where around four hundred people visit  in a week. It was his church who had help him to raise funds for this painting and then sent him here as a leader of the team.  

The Team from US & Richard is with Red T-shirt

Where you put your focus makes the whole difference in life, in short term as well as in long term. His focus on roof was beyond the new painting on the wall that our eye can see instantly, it was much more than that.  Let it go. The marigold painted house of somebody you know is not something we should take seriously and personally. Losing someone you love so much doesn't mean you waste time crying for the loved one. He was too busy working for others who were less fortunate than him in so many ways and all  he was thinking how can he make it better.  This is living in true sense.

Now, I know a lot about painting a house and to care rooftops. I rarely meet a man who is warm, wise, knowledgeable and kind hearted  at the same time. I truly admire the man like Richard.