Sex Feels Good But.....

Talk of sex is a taboo in my continent or its regarded impolite in civilized society. Lust is regarded bad even in married couples not only in Hindu philosophy but in many other religions too. This is very hypocrite and double standard in itself. For many people, sex is desire, need or lust, to some sex is sin. Therefore, forget about taking it easily in courting couples of any age. There are huge number of people who suggest you to stay away from temptation and you should not marry for the sole reason of sex and sex is what is the reason behind the many broken family. May be religions as a whole are more preachy than understanding the root reason behind it.  But what we can't deny is many people and many definition so the many condition.

There are people for whom sex is nothing more than a temptation one could resist. To some its a language of love and a must for continuation of life to go on. Whatever we say, no one can deny the truth, sex still do have full power to rule our life. The hard truth about sex is, it is a biggest human emotion of all.

It is believed that sex is good for mental stimulation. Research have revealed that, good sex unclogs the creativity within a man and it seems that it gives them an unseen wings to achieve unimaginable height in life. If we study closely in the life of many successful men this notion seem to be so right. Gandhi is well known for being the leader of 20th century due to his peaceful protest in the history of mankind, not only in India but he was a chronic sex addict, Picasso is top when it comes to painting  world and he had many wives as well as many extramarital relationship also. Lets talk about Tiger Woods, the recent case of rise of fall of the biggest brand, due to his sexual behavior.

 

Fall of biggest brand : Personally for me the case study of Tiger Woods is very interesting, in so many ways. He was on top of his career when he was having affairs with many women but just when it was made public during late 2008, he became the fall of the biggest brand in modern history. After that his popularity saw the free fall like anything and he lost millions of dollar worth of brand endorsement due to his infidelity and besides his wife also divorced him in the midst of the crisis. It took him almost 5 years to regain his top position in Golf game.

Guilt : Recently, I was kind of numbed when I watched yet another crime shows. The story came in crime show but I am giving you only the psychological analysis here after or before that crime. For real story some Indian channel repeatedly airs it. You must have been reading in  many of my articles that my personal preference is Crime patrol, Sony and Savdhan India in Lifes Ok.

This is a story of Mohit* who was convicted of raping a young British girl named Ana*, about seven years ago. He is from very well off family and he was working as a photographer for the girls when this happened.  This was worked on fast track work so after the punishment he ran from the jail when he was serving his term. But the story is worth paying close attention after he ran from the jail. He did plastic surgery to change his looks, made false document to live life of a totally different person and was forced to stay out from his family and hometown  and direct contract from them also due to this charge.  Worse, he was so guilt ridden that he could not even have a normal relationship with any girl after that even with the girl in his office, who was interested in him and who took the advance to seduce him. He just could not open up about his past life nor he could free from himself what he did under the influence of alcohol. One mistake where he forced himself to the British girl and guilt of it could never leave him, even if he ran from jail, did plastic surgery and could change the whole document with the help from his powerful father. Nothing could ease his guilt, and he could not forget it to get over from the mistake he made in past.

When Greed collide with lust : Jiten Byas* was a rich stock broker and was living a double life which his family, friends and colleague did not know about. He made money fast and gave money fast and kept a woman outside his hometown also. But the new woman was seeking some status in his life not just ease in life. Financial ease which he provided the woman was exactly lacking in her life with her husband. She thought her rich lover should provide her something that will help her life before the enter rich man in her life. Now this woman was well off with her husband and two college going children and her son was sponsored for college study by this new man. after sometime she asked for a big chunk of land. The man was more canny that he looked. He threw a proposal; I will give you what you are asking but, send your daughter to me. This mother daughter discussed over this and the daughter replaced mother for his lustful act, but greed was the prime motive behind being exploited by this man.

As time passed this man did not transferred that particular piece of land worth 10 million to this mother daughter duo. Not surprisingly, one day this man was found dead out of his hometown. But, before his death his signs was taken on the land documents. These two women had used paper cutters only to kill this man on his wrist. This is the bad case of digging the greed of a women who had never seen money before they met this rich man.

Love lust : Charumeeta* was a married woman who lived in Kolkata who had intimate relationship with a young man. The young was not married, after some time the man fell in love with this woman knowing she has a husband and two children of hers. He thought good sex means love. But to this lady he was only the guy who provided her what had been lacking in her life. therefore she did not wanted to marry with him. When asked by this young man, “do you love me ?”  she used to respond, “of course”, if asked “then why can't you leave him [ husband] then she used to say, “he is my husband.”

One day this young man who was in army shot this woman, a mother of two child, his husband and her mother-in-law because sex was not love for her.

Victim of Conspiracy  : In May 2011 Dominique Strauss-Kahn was accused of attempted rape and sexual assault which he denied repeatedly. What is so interesting about this attempted rape and sexual assault is; that it all happened just before he was about to run for the top position in IMF. He was about to run for the 2012 French President and then all this buzz dominated the world news. On 23 August 2011, the judge formally dismissed all charges following a recommendation for dismissal filed by the District Attorney's office, which asserted that the complainant's untruthfulness made it impossible to credit her.

Any one can smell the game of conspiracy here than the actual assault from him. If people know your weakness, they will used it against you one day or another and it does not have to be the girl you are involved with to ruin your life, as It helps some to play a game within the loopholes using it against you and the people in power. At times this will be a huge issue for public and sometimes, By the time public know the real story its already too late for the victim.

There is no doubt that sex feels good and it sure is a mental stimulation in our life but only when there is no string attached with the sexual behaviour. Mere ejaculation is going to do  no good to either party. Otherwise, it becomes a reason to fall from the grace regardless from which continent you belong to.

*TV shows or computer links don't use real names in Indian crimes story, so I will never know the real name and place.

What makes an act a sinful act ?

Earlier to this, I have tried to understand what is sin, and in this article I would like to dig further on, what makes an act a sinful act. Could this be a bad decision, a bad condition, a bad situation; that make people to do some unthinkable act, which ultimately becomes a sinful act ?

In China, due to one child policy, government are killing the almost fully developed fetus in the name of abortion. The unborn child, which is by the parents who already had a child and try to have another child without the government consent. But once the  government finds out it will be forcefully aborted, even it its about seven or eight months of pregnancy. The infant, who never got the chance to see the light on earth, with their tiny eyes; are the victims of one child policy in China.  

Although, I forgot the year and month the article appeared on the Reader's Digest written by a Chinese Doctor, opposing the system of the kill.  The doctor had to leave china for her opinion not to kill the child that was aborted when she was on duty and she was not willing to kill the baby. She was even ready to adopt ‘the child’ to give her own rights to have her own baby in future. The medical assistant injects the aborted child on the softest part of the infants head, to so that they will die soon. In China, these medical assistants makes more money, than the doctors. With the population growing high 1.35 billion and ever growing higher, its a government policy to ‘control the population’ and for many of them who are doing this kind of act, who kills new born child is just another job in china.

Is landing in bad job is sin then ? Is bad judgment is sin then ? Who decides what is sin ? Perhaps its easy to judge from outside. Is some bad decision made by some people at worst condition is sin then ? Everybody knows, we tend to judge people for that one decision, I mean that one bad decision; which goes wrong, because of that one decision made in that hard time and situation, which seems to be the result of bad time, situation and condition; where one seem to be losing all common sense at that very moment. Does this mean, weak decision made on bad condition is sin then ?  but they live that life and we don't.

It can always be argued on.

In recent years, I have been hooked to watch, crime patrol, an Indian reality crime show, desperately trying to find some answers to some of the perplexing question of life that lies in our society. Just like all of you I too, thought, murder is one of the worst possible sin, one can commit in life. But after watching the complete story and understanding the real reason behind it, I have come to the conclusion that; even the cold blooded murder is not always a sin. There are times, I would not want to vote for punishing, at all; for the murder one have committed.

For example a man, who was convicted of murdering his best friend and ended his life in prison was indeed roped in to the murder of his own best friend. The person who booked him to kill is none other than; the one who got killed, and he was paid only 90,000 indian Rs. while the killed guys would have made 1.5 million if the fraud had not been exposed by the crime branch of India. See my blog post ‘should he be punished for the murder of his best friend ?’ for more details.  

I have also watched time and again, on the very crime show that, murder or lets called it sin, have been committed by the people, who have all the common sense, moral integrity and God fearing; yet, its just that one split seconds decision they made at that time. Does that bad decision, is what makes it a sin ?

The teenage girl of Dahishar, India, who was so exploited by the corrupt and powerful politician of the area, to the max, just to elude her, of her simple right; to get a ration card. The corrupt politician, whose name was Mangesh Kadam*, abused the power and authority and used it to exploit her sexually to poor girl; should indeed be blamed for his own murder. His throat was slit open, before be was heavily overdosed of alcohol. But at the end of the day, the teen girl and her employers, who treated her like thier own sister will have to serve the jail term or the punishment at the end. I would not have called this a heinous act of crime or sin just the bad decision at the worsts condition. Just a spring overreacted, after a long and hard push.  

I also sympathised; with my whole heart to the servant, who served his masters for seven years. He had borrowed some Rs 30,000  for his marriage, but he could not return the loan on stipulated time, due to his meager salary. The mistress had another plan in her mind to settle the dues with him, “if you kill my in-laws [mother and sister of her husband] then you will be free from the dues or I will even give you more money than you can imagine.” There was huge money - about 70 corod worth of flat in big city of India - after their death in her name waiting to be transferred. He was reluctant to take the offer, but a poor servant could not leave the job, nor he was allowed to leave his job. Having no option, he did killed the ladies, but it so happened one died and the old one survived, to tell the story to police, in front of the family members.

I do not want to go further  arguing on, should that poor servant be charged for something he was trapped to ? Does he deserve the punishment, which he never wanted to do, but was forced to do ? He had fear, fear of God; moral integrity and the good judgement that this murder is a  sin, yet he ended up doing exactly; what he feared for.

I would like to tell my readers that I am not trying to justify any crime mentioned above but I am only trying to understand the real reason behind an act called sin.

What makes an act a sinful act then ? why it is regarded sin ?

Who does not know the logic of Nazi officers, who killed millions of jews in gas chambers and other brutal ways to clean Germany during Hitler's ruling era and later on, when the victims and other agencies in Germany wanted to prosecute the case against them, they simply responded; they were just following the order from the ‘top’. Does this mean they don't have the sense to differentiate   what is right and what is wrong ?

How justifiable that response is ? and more than that how justifiable the murder they committed during their work life ? or they just choose to blame the whole situation to ‘others’ for the life they lived ? Like the injector of aborted child, those Chinese medical staff at every abortion section of the maternity hospital in China ? Should a job be blamed for the bad decision ?  or a person finds it so easy to hide their own hidden weakness under the coziness of job, situation, condition or bad time to hide their own flaws ?

Then, who decides what is sin ?

For a murder, which is the mother of all sin, a parents may call it siblings rivalry, society may call it unacceptable and unbelievable act, human rights activist may call it inhuman or barbaric act and  judicial system calls it illegal, government may call it taking stern action to implement the system on track and a thinker may call it illogical and insane act, when a philosopher with psychological insights may call it manifestation of deeper dwelling frustration of other issues, a corporate house may call it job well done for survival, press may call it unhealthy competition. You may call it bad and he may call it good. But a religious leader comes forth saying, this is evil and devils work and this is sin. Huge bunch of our society will go on agreeing with the religious leader. Yeah, this is sin !

Therefore every society needs more social reformers, not a religious leaders to understand the deep root of the cause; rather than jumping into the wrong conclusion when it comes to an act called sin.

But, it it seems that my work is still not done, what makes an act a sinful act then ? why it is regarded sin ?

*Could be fake name, as I use it what they used the name but crime show normally do not reveal the real name,  when they dramatise it for public viewing.

Note : this article was published before in Nepalidvocate.com

Good judgement good leadership

Leadership ability is grossly ignored yet highly sought after quality in my country. What is more frustrating is intellectuals not only political journalists or writers but all walk of like only seeks this quality in politicians and not in other areas of life. Some political journalist[s] never get tire using the word leader for politicians who do not have leadership qualities at all; but knows how to play politics to remain in the position for long.

As a blogger, writer I always keep myself away from political talks and topics and I keep writing, politics is not my subject and I don't understand politics. But, the truth is I don't want to understand politics. I avoid it to the max, because it has power to boil my blood and give me high blood pressure, mostly for it being twisted beyond recognition. I have to admit it, there are times, when I really need to know what do they understand and what I fail to understand in politics ?

By now I have learned that its better to avoid journalists, Reporters or correspondents and people who are expert on giving political jargon. I stick with  only those who helps me make sense of the things I need to understand. There are times I have found illiterate politicians making more sense than the well educated journalists, who are asking biased question with half done homeworks. Therefore, for this very reason, its Christiane Amanpour on CNN and Bijay Kumar on his show Dishanirdesh which I stick with to understand that even politicians makes sense.

Early this year, I got a little bit curious to give my time and interest in some news when Khil Raj Regmi a clean image Chief justice became the center of attention due to his name submission by Unified CPN- Maoist. He was chosen from all party to get out from the political deadlock my country was going through for four years, to held a CA election; as four major party could never reach clear consensus.

To keep an eye on this news was not being interested in politics but just being a responsible citizens to know what is going on now and how things will turn out. Because he has been associated with justice department with squeaky clean image so I started reading Ananta Raj Luitel, for he not being a political journalist. I got most of my insights in his news, views and commentary. I kind of read almost all the news that his name was. Of course, I am famous for filtering the nonsense news, just to keep my blood pressure level intact.From very early stage, I had faith in him like all the political party that he is the right person for my country to give us a solution. He did not come from political background nor he is good at politics like others.

 

To my disappointment I got a chance to read mostly negative news and views and protest before and after his posting as the Executive Head of the state. Judges, lawyers, civil rights bodies and other intellects from my country unanimously opposed the decision of Khil Raj Regmi to take the challenge to give this  nation a way out from deadlock situation that never seem to be ending.

If you read closely the the comments and opinions put forth by EX-AG, Ex Supreme court justice and President of Democratic Lawyers association they were all only worried about the possible image tarnishing of judicial institution not the entire nation. Nepal Bar association have come forward to oppose his join in Government.

“When political parties have failed to maintain countries politics, how will Regmi be able to handle the situation ?” asked Sarvgyaratna Tuladhar former attorney general. “since politicians and political parties have failed in the last four years now they want to shift the blame on cj, or the judiciary for that matter, by dangling the prime ministerial post before Regmi” Ex-AG opined.

“I can confidently predict that he would fail [ as the  executive head], and he will make the judiciary a controversial institution.” said Yadunath Khanal President Democratic Lawyers Association.  He also said, “But I don't think he will be able to handle the [political] situation as the executive head for he has failed to put his own house in order - like in relations to addressing judicial affairs”

“He might not be able to deliver what the political parties are expecting. So, the move of making him the prime minister boomerang, jeopardizing the entire judiciary, which could ultimately become a failed institution” a former supreme court justice told Ananta Raj Luitel on his news piece that appeared on the February 22, 2013 on The Himalayan Times.

In other news I read civil rights body lead by Kanak Mani Dixit, who is famous political journalist. He squarely focus on political matter and loves busting scams and hanuman hammer the bloated ego of politicians. What stunned me is when he regrouped his civil rights associates to manage a peaceful protest in Peace Garden [Shanti Batika ] to oppose Khil Raj Regmi lead government. What is so peace about peaceful protest held in Shanti Batika ? and what he knows about the result long before, to doubt his ability  to give us a way out from political deadlock ?. Now when we have fresh result  in hand of his ability to give us what he was trusted, I now doubt this white haired journalist in depth knowledge more than ever. He keeps demanding answer with politician for this and that but I yet have to read his self reflecting and soul searching article on this doubt. He still have not written anything about his doubt, not even four lines on his Facebook status to feel guilty about his protest before the result. Instead he is giving nonstop report on which party own which lose and which nation welcomed our peaceful participation in our election. How can he do so when he keep hammering the politicians non stop and yet he presume he never makes any mistake in his field ? His loud silence on this matter has power to tell, that his fight with politicians seems like clash of ego, rather than helping us to understand the situation from pure white haired journalist angel.

Now after the November 19, 2013 CA Election, I have been reading the Facebook status of not only journalists but many national dailies editors including Kanak Mani Dixit. Strange they are busy reporting which party won and who lost and who got how much vote, totally ignoring who gave us this opportunity to take part in this most peaceful election of our time despite all the doubt put on, not only with him but wild prediction that our mass is not interested in elections anymore and election will not take place in time and things will turn upside down. The  actual result is so opposite to what I have been reading over the period of more than nine months.

Knowing politics, doing politics and playing politics is a whole lot of different things and one do not need to know politics like CJ khil Raj Regmi to lead a nation and give us a way out. He not only accepted the dreadful challenge, as he himself was not sure about accepting this request from the very beginning and he took really long time to make his mind. Khil Raj Regmi is the most undermined and ignored leader. However, he showed this nation how a non-political leader can help this nation give a way out from a political deadlock. This, way out do have power to tell us that good justice always means good leadership.

What is Sin ?

I needed to refer, The Fourth Dimension for an article, but when I reread it, it thoroughly changed my mind, then I came up with this article instead. Couple of years ago, when I had read Dr. Paul Yonggi Cho for the first time, he did added me in his vast circle of admirer.As very powerful religious leader which made him an influential pastor not only in Korea, but a well known name around the world in Christian community. I became his huge fan, even though, he is an ardent worshiper of Jesus and I am not.

But when I picked up the same book, it forced me to think about whole idea of his believe about sin. Oh, don't get me wrong, I still love to read this book again and again for many times as its so good and his reasoning is very convincing and my respect for him has not diminished, not even by an inch. Its just that I disagree with him, when I came to an end of the book. The part that have stayed in my mind long after I read it. However, when I flipped the pages straight towards the last couple of pages, one word intrigued me as it stood tall among his other belief. Its his believe that fear, hatred, inferiority [complex] and guilt are sins.

It really forced me to think hard. These are common human weakness; not even psychological issues. We all have these weakness, regardless of our family background, class, society, nationality regardless of we being belonging to any part of the world. Everyone of us have these weakness, some more and some less. I would not regards these weakness as sin; just the natural flaws. A weakness that separate us from God or some superhuman. But, when Dr. Paul Yonggi Cho, a religious leader, international speaker and most powerful pastor of his country puts those weakness in the bracket of sin, it sure makes his huge followers [ inside and outside the country], to believe in it and at the same time has tremendous power to confuse equal number of people, regardless of their religious belief.

If fear, hatred, inferiority [complex] and guilt are sins; then  what makes criminal instinct, murder,  serial killers, terrorist act, or those who did or ordered for genocide or even worse those who are so corrupt, that their corrupt habit is taking lives of so many others; but only indirectly. They never get punished for the death they caused in many ways. Yet, they never feel sorry for what their action touched many live in negative way, and what do you call the person involved in human trafficking and making mankind as close to animal and treating them like slave. Does sin has A, B, C grade ?

As I was reading another book, Truth and Transformation by Vishal Mangalwadi, who again is another religious preacher, Indian philosopher and . In one incident in his book, he had written anger is sin. Since when, human emotions like anger is also part of sin ? Its very hard to believe when social reformer and intellect like him  advocating  on the subject that is emotion like anger and put it in the sins bracket. But, its the power of thinkers to change the society with radical thinking and more than that they also indulged in power to confuse common people always. And in this case it sure has full power to confuse the people who have huge faith in God. This is the logic made by religious leaders, in the name of God to confuse the huge general mass.

Some people define sin is what when majority of people think ‘this is sin’. Disapproval of the community is what makes an act sin ? Is sin is something going for the forbidden fruit ? whether its by God or the upper caste people in the society, who are in a position to make rules ? Personally to me, it seems that the word has a blind faith, without using the common sense. It also seems they blindly believed what the religious gurus said or defined it. What is sin then ? what makes an act a sinful act ?

Some Hindu religious leader regard sex as a lust and not love; even in married couples. In so many religion sex is mere use for the utility and nothing else. Many religious leaders from east and west are unanimous, when it comes to abortion, making it a sinful act. Only couple of years ago, it was one of the most deciding factor to choose the President of America based on his opinion on abortion; until one smart person came up with the answer, that made the would be president to respond, “we are going to respect the decision mothers make for themselves”, this statement doused the hot discussion on sleep mode. Now a days, this issue is not the topic of discussion, any more, for the presidential campaign.

To control a genocide some super nations enters into the mission of stopping it with a motto, ‘stop terror with terror’.  Americans were always divided during the gulf war to shut down Saddam. Who decides what is good or what is bad then ?  Since when murder by powerful politicians is not murder and by individual it is still called murder.

Why some religious leaders preach a human flaws as a sin ? Why they are trying hard, the impossible act of controlling the flaws by telling them to suppress it. Telling them to be the one, who they are not. Then again, why this kind of philosophy is not helping any society - east or west - to control the crime or sins to happen in every society ?

The truth is; how hard the religious leaders try to stop some sins to take place in our society one thing is sure, the all of the combined force of religious leaders of the world can not change one core point of the human beings, to convert them into a God. Human remains human; with all their weakness and flaws and as long as we live on earth the sinful act will never stop happening.

So the best for every one is to remain the best of yourself and try not to be like God or live the life of faking everything, no one has to pretend, who you are not.  I am also hoping when you are reading these lines, you must be very much aware of; what moral integrity is. So relax, be yourself, I mean true self of yours and without worrying what is good or bad; live your life your way, with all the flaws that is your which makes you truly you. As time flies by, you will grow up to know all on your own, what is good and what is bad. Because what seem good to you, will always seem bad to someone else and one day you will grow up to find the answer of that act of yesterday. More than that you will grow up to know that    those who preaches to be good and sinless are also not the perfect self of them.

Do what you think is right and what feels right to you. Let others judge you, because that’s what they do best to judge you or your decision. Always keep in mind, they don't live your life, which you have to live. Make your mistakes and learn from your mistakes just keep in mind that life is too short to make all the mistakes and learn from it, at the same time.

Every human being has its share of natural weakness and flaws, that's what makes us human being and not God !

Note : this article was first published in Nepaliadvocate.

My Old Scooter and God

I am not fanatic about my belief in God. Not being a religious person, I don't visit temple, church or any other monasteries but,  when I go out in my decayed scooter, which is  very much in bad condition and I return home safely; all that do have power to make me believe in God and his existence like anything. I leave home with a pray, God take care of me and I go out in my scooter even though I have no trust in my scooter.

Condition of my scooter is so bad that, if the spare parts do have rights to sue me in any court that would have existed on earth, they could have sued me long time back for not keeping them in good conditions. There is only one side view mirror and the one which is there is just so angry with me always looks down as if in protest. It seems at a look that it is so committed, not to report me whatever is happening behind my back. Both hand breaks are so loose that no one can manage it; but me. Both brake shoe are not working, I wonder how come my clutching both break works, when they are supposed to work. If it works its a miracle, then I believe there is this invisible power of God to protect the most careless person living on earth who dares to ride that old and gone scooter. And that careless person happens to be me.

Therefore, it should not surprise anyone, if my scooter is so determined to bring me most embarrassing scooter owners award. Its’ sound is embarrassingly loud and so odd until I find myself in highways. Then, the same odd sounding sound, makes me feel like I am riding a racing bike. It is a reason to crack a conversation with guys on the road and its a reason to bring some uneasy feelings to some of my acquainted, who thinks this is so damn embarrassing looking scooter. I hate to admit it but they are so right. Its only that they don't know, that I know all the stories of each and every scars and bruise my scooter has and I am the reason behind all those bruised part of my old scooter. Its been with me for more than ten years now, that it has become like my good friend. It has given me so much good memories as well as story too.

Its’ oddly loud sound, especially at the red light stop is what makes young guys on fancy bikes make to give me ‘the look’ at my scooter until they see me racing fast when the light turns into bright florescent green. There are times, I see the same guy on my side who were with me at the earlier red light stop. That is the time, they  crack up the conversation with me admitting, its engine is still one of the best despite its look. Best engine, is what making me to keep this scooter a little while longer.

There are people who would not blink eyes to tell me to change my scooter as soon as possible. But, coincidentally the same friend[s], who ride comparatively new bike than mine have met with an ugly accident, some really bad ones; but mine still protects me from those unwanted accidents. For me, its not new or old, good or bad, I have to be safe on the street is my first priority.

Deep in my mind I think, not having licence keeps me grounded and more cautious than carrying a licence. Some believe this is very nonsense reasoning about my safety. Yeah, you can argue that, you have licence but you have never met any accident but I know lots of people who have and have met bitter accident. Finding myself behind those licence holder tells me what its to have confidence to face traffic police and what does arrogance means. I am cautiously fast on the street but without licence in my pocket, I can't be over confidence on the street. I dare not do things that will tangle me with any accident traffic police comes only on second number of priority to protect myself.

Riding a scooter is real freedom for many of us who love to go out anytime and without any control. I can think of going out without - a wallet - but not without my scooter. It took  me four month to learn scooter and when I say,my short leg to be blamed for all this some raised their brow. However, once I am on street I really have not found myself in any trouble in this ten years of my experience on wheel; except my scooter have made many trips to the traffic police office for violating some street law. Oh, all that made me pay highly for the stupid mistakes.

There is this normal believe here that the traffic police are very corrupt lot and they will seek all the opportunities to scuff you money, for not having legal documents to ride not just scooter. Its right but not entirely true. I have bumped with really good traffic police officers, who were ready to help me find the licence; which I have never made. Thier nicety made me feel guilty about white lies. Some of the traffic officers have returned me my blue book without charging  a penny, all he agreed is to have lunch with me.  

There are times  have gone to the traffic police office and retrieved my scooter after telling them the half truth about licence saying that I am not ‘carrying’ it now or lost it. Yet they let me go after the normal charge for parking on no park zone and then they let me go with my scooter without much fuss they did not hyper reacted for appearing in their office to collect my two wheeler without proper document in my hand.

Facing traffic police alone is a lot better experience in reality than facing them with those who carry licence with them, besides it cost me more also if I walk in with them in traffic office. Story of traffic police being corrupt has more benefit to those who walk in with you in traffic police offices to help you out from the situation, than they actually being that corrupt and harassing with true intention. There are people who make good bucks telling you that others are bad and corrupt. My scooter has taught me this, than anything else in life.

Some ask me have not you tangled yet [fight or argument] with anyone on street ? That really shocks me. Am I  on street  to fight or seek any chances to tangle with anyone ? Why do I have to be ?  They thought I am very strong nature and I must have had some good fight or argument on street for anything that went wrong. Strangely, that I have not faced yet. Precaution is better than prevention is my motto on street and with precaution we can protect yourself on street and agreed accidents are accidents, but it can be avoided with real caution. I know there are some who do climb down from car and bike and then kick with the other who hit them on street.

Old or new I still need it for a ride and when the road is like ours, my scooter is just fine.

Needless to tell you, first thing I do after reaching home safely is to thank god for my safe ride back home, because he is the one who deserves that for protecting me on the street. My scooter taught me about the power of God and his existence and then also help me know about the people and their real intention. Shhh... my scooter should not know about it, or it might get idea to sue me for handsome fine for not giving it all the credit of carrying me all this year and protecting me on the crazy raods of the city !

Reason or Victim ?

Its been a little more than three years, I have been watching crime shows that airs in Indian channel. I am not just hooked to watch it but, now its become the source of study hard the reason behind the crimes and what is the root cause of it and more than that, why crime takes places in our society ?

Unlike the popular belief that women are the reason behind all kind of mess that goes around in a family and in our society. However, now its been revealed that, its not women who are the reason behind all the crime that takes place. In fact, women of all age are the victim of most crimes that takes place in our society. Because, I have been studying  the reason behind the crimes. I have come up with  major reasons of crimes, which give us an insight of reality. In all these crimes which happens in India, women of all age are on the centre of it.

Dowry is a very controversial topic in indian society. A gift which almost all parents would like to give to their daughter, after marriage. But the greed of it have become not just a free will but a high demand from grooms family, have become a reason to torture mentally and physically against married women in india in all walk of life. Domestic violence, its not just limited in mental and physical torture but we have been watching young brides burned alive within years of marriage, because they could not bring what they expected to bring. It may be the bride who has to suffer the torture and face the violence but its the whole family and society has to pay the huge price for this crime. If they can't bring sufficient dowry their worth have been regarded like less than a dust in the new family and some try to buy the importance with enough dowry.

We also have been learning through this shows that giving dowry won't sort out the difference between two couple, yet this ugly culture is not vanishing despite strong law against it. Law can't change the mind of people it only can punish the culprit but why that eradication effort has not been taken strongly in Indian is something always hammers my conscience. Public must change their opinion not very little efforts are made from the media to face the brute reality of this  every passing day. this is the reason they marry and this is the reason marriage falls apart. yet the culture of dowry never ends in society.

Rape : Indians are very conservative when it comes to talk about sex. Having intimate relationship among the college going couples is big no no, even during the courtship; as its a big taboo. There is this believe that you should not marry for sex and sex should be used only as utility even in married life. But what is so nagging to watch on crime shows and more survey on this matter revealing that one girl is being raped in every 20 minutes. Due to their vast population it looks like India is a rape nation. Recent survey report by UN, which covered more than 10,000 men, says another side of the story, only this time; they had done the survey in many countries of the Asia-pacific continent. One in every four men admitted raping including their partner. They were asked, why do you rape ? One out of every four men responded for want of sex, entertainment and punishment. 75% responded for I want her or want to have sex with her, 59% responded for entertainment and more than 38% said for revenge. Sometimes, I wonder this is the country which brags that we are very religious and spiritual nation then why the religious or spiritual leader is also not helping common man to face the rapist in our daily life instead we keep reading in news or watching it on TV channels that its religious leaders, politicians, bosses colleagues who exploit the women. Should not they be changing their tune in this regard instead of telling them to suppress the need ? Had we not seen enough of it when it burst out, it not only shakes India but has power to give a goose numb every civil society across the nation.  read for more detail, Why do they rape ?

No baby girl : Although its illegal to know the sex of unborn child its widely practiced in India. Its not that they are curious about the sex of unborn child but they will terminate the pregnancy if they came to know if the fetus is of female sex. Daughter are so unwelcomed child in almost all family in India, with some exception. Some vocalist about it, some suppress the need to have boys but its so deep rooted in Indian mind that they just want boy as a child. This need is more prominent when there are already two or three girls in a family. Recently they were covering the story of a mother, whose one month baby girl was buried alive by her own father, and two grandmothers for want of a boy because she already had two more girls. She sure send all of them in jail and saved her baby girl.

We may read in news that China and India are rising superpowers when it comes to economic growth but when it comes to choice of sex they always go for boy instead of girl and now the situation have become too worse that there are 118 men for every 100 suitable marriageable girls to marry and that is 1000 men for every 914 girls in India. and now men are paying high price for this. In Indian society its is believed that only son will take their parents to heaven and only they can give the continuity to the blood line.

Women as a commodity not as a human being : We sensible women are sick and tired of this typical man’s mentality that we are just a sex object and nothing more than that. But worse than that, one of the biggest reason crime takes place in India against women of all age is because we are regarded as commodity not a human being. There are men who think, we are nothing more than a sex object, made to bring pleasure in their life, some regard us if we are maid who come in their life in form of mother, wife, daughter. Some see huge money in young and vulnerable women and then they fell in love with them love them for some time and then these loving husbands or lover sells their lovely wife to pimps in brothels. What is so shocking to see on these crime shows is, its fathers who are pushing their daughters into flesh trade and husband who sells their wife for money. In some rural parts of india even a whole family is involved in selling their daughters to the highest bidder to be used as a sex object. This culture have been going on for ages. Women can't have their opinion because we are something men need to protect, possess and guarded all the time; as if we are not a living creature at all. That over protection is what making us weaker than we needed to be and that is what is giving men more power because they are more exposed to outside world than women. This reminded me of a line by a man who said, If you now less it make me look smart.

After studying intensely crime shows over many years I have learned that women are not the reason instead they are the victims of all the crime. But, its easy to blame them for everything that goes wrong as we are the weaker sex.