Having been grown up myself in Bal Mandir [ Children Home], here in Nepal and hearing all the negative comments from the caretakers in our childhood for years, which impacted our young subconscious mind profusely and observing its lasting impact in my grown up life; as well as on many of my well educated inmates from there, who could not make it big in their respective field, despite all the education they acquired. I can bet, all my money, that they are not even aware, why its so. But this observation has a lot to teach me the impact of spoken words, that remains in subconscious mind forever, which affects us in good or bad way in long run; longer than we can imagine.
When I was there no one told me, you can make it, you can do it, you will do it, because you have the potential to make it big. Instead we had to hear, all the time dream and you ? with disgusting look on their face or disbelieve, if only the dreams were horses, even the beggars would ride them or the sweets for beggars ? were the lines, that was used more often. Good for me, I can't even remember all of it but what is left are the ones, no one should be hearing in their life; because those words were the true curse, not the condition.
Mentioning of bible, Dr. Paul Yonggi Cho, writes in his book, the fourth dimension, “if you keep on saying that you are poor, then all of your system conditions itself to attract poverty and you will feel at home in poverty; you would rather be poor. But if you keep on saying that you are able, that your can achieve success, then all of your bodies would be bridled to success.”
People who believe that supportive family do shape our life, are right to some extent, if not entirely. Because, those supportive words and inspiration is something that will go and rest in our subconscious mind forever. It is said that, our conscious mind is the slave of our subconscious mind.
It is believed that the person who grew up like me [in orphanage], do not make it big in life or chances are slim that, we do live our life decently. I do remember reading this survey by a professor of sociology, from John Hopkins University who had done a survey of a slum in Baltimore. They studied about 200 youth there thoroughly about their conditions. Those students concluded in their report, that these youth from slum, will end up their life in prison, when they grow up.
After twenty five years later, the same professor sent another groups of student to follow up on his earlier study to the same slum in Baltimore. They succeed tracking down 160 of the 200 people. But to their surprise, they had turned into civilized men and were doing fine in their life. They wanted to know, why ? The students came to know that the 100 of youth had gone to a same high school, where a teacher named Sheila O'Rourke was found in a nursing home in Memphis, who had taught this slum youth, which changed their life upside down proving wrong the prediction made by earlier group of students from the John Hopkins University.
This second group of students, went on extra miles to find the teacher; as they wanted to know what was her plan or how she did the impossible. Her response was very simple, I treated all my students during my time. I treated them with love and respect and there was no plan as you are thinking. She was a religious person and was doing as she was influenced by Jesus and his teachings.
Well, the above study has a lot to teach us, about the mind set. The answer is yes, love and respect to youth and child has a lot to do to shape a life of a person and its not necessary that it has to start at home at very early age as believed by many psychologist that has the capacity to store things that is heard in our subconscious mind, but human brain is more powerful and its absorption power is huge, therefore it may happen at any age and any time those words can change a looser to an achiever.
This is why, I need to dig more and know everything about it. Is this, what we believe or there is some truth to it also ?
A most powerful religious leader [Christian] and international speaker Dr. Paul Yonggi Cho writes in his book, The Fourth Dimension “the spoken words has power, and when you release that word, it is the word, and not you, who performs miracles.”
How much it will effect the thought of a person will make more sense by this example : Hem was a young man, skilled in electrical fitting. He was so good that he could finish a house wiring in just a couple of hour. One day a man, who was very well known and respectable in his area told him that, “you are going to be affected by the disease of tuberculosis, because your parents also died of it.” After hearing the news, the words kept echoing in his head and it started getting on his health in really bad way. he lost the taste of food and had no urge to do the work. which caused rise in temperature during night and when he surfed more books to know about the tuberculosis, he thought, he has the symptoms of it. in the next three months his health started deteriorated at unbelievable speed due to excessive worry on the news by the respectable old man, whom Hem believed blindly.
Finally, the day came and he had to go to see the doctor. when finally doctor took an X-ray, said, “you see your lungs are perfect and you take this medicine, you will be alright in a week.” To clear the air further from his mind the doctor also showed him the comparison of X-rays, with those who had the disease, then in a few days Hem regained his original health with spirit. One man’s words made him sick with worry and another man’s words of confirmation released him from his illness, which he had harbored.
Before running for the president of America, Abraham Lincoln had lost the election twice for senator’s seat; yet in third time he struck back with a bang and that was the turning point of his long run to the presidential position, and he went on to became one of the most famous president of America.
What makes them to keep fighting back ? what is the power behind the resilience ?
When Abraham Lincoln was a small boy, he saw a white colored house on his way back home. He asked his father about the house his father replied, it's the white house, where our president works and lives. Then he asked whether he could also work in that white house as a president ? His father replied, “of course, my son you can”. rest we all know the history.
During the late seventies, Korean neurosurgeons have found that, the speech center in the brain, rules over all the nerves. One of my all time favorite line from the book, Rich Dad Poor Dad is one dad said, as he believed, “the reason I am not rich is because I have you kids” and the other dad said, “the reason I must be rich is because I have you kids” Robert Kiyosaki admits in this book that it was the luxury to observe the power and effects of a different thoughts shaping the life as they believed. Because as they believed; their life ended exactly the same way, as they predicted or acted; and for this very reason this book is very readable and believable in every bit of the line this book talks about.
Another of my favorite quote from Rich Dad Poor Dad. Rich dad always believed that “I can't afford” sends mind in sleep mode, how can I afford gives a reason to exercise our brain. More we exercise more powerful our our brain will be.
Nobody can measure the power of thought, yet it is one of the most powerful force, that shapes our life. We need to know how to choose wisely our thought as its going to shape our whole life.
There is one proverb in Japanese, the power of sword, power of jewel and power of mirror. Mirror tells you, never underestimate three things in life, I, me and myself. If you look into the mirror you see yourself and then you will know the true value of you. This only tells you to believe in you; yourself more important than any other person. Like that advertisement says, ‘I believe in me.’ Speak it loud and do it as much as you can do it, and see the difference it will make in your life.
How the scientist see it ? another line from the book the fourth dimension, a neurosurgeon said, “if someone keeps on saying, I am going to become weak, then right away all the nerves receives that message, and in reaction all the nervous system becomes weak as they have got the message from our central communication that we would become weak. they then in natural sequence adjust their physical attitudes to weaken.”
If we want a success in our life, we must change our negative language to positive one. The big question is where can we learn this language ?
To some its a religious book, as the Dr. Paul Yonggi Cho believes, and to some they find it at home in form of a mother or a wife or a life partner or best friends or boss. Like attracts like, and so choose your friends or company wisely; if you want to achieve some thing in life.
But, to some to get the self belief and conviction is from family members and to some its God and from life itself. Everyone knows that, behind every successful man there is a woman. Women have been source of inspiration for men, for centuries. They come in all form like as mother, as wife, as sister, or a friends or a good teacher.
So, who you keep with you, to achieve your dream ?
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Note : this was first published on nepaliadvocate.com February 5, 2013
