Rape and woman

Some time ago on my Facebook there was a post by a fellow friend, that a woman in Canada was to sue a sex toy company, because the toy she used was so hard and harsh making the whole affair so painful. I could not help but think after reading the post, this complaint would change the whole concept of rape and the lawyers are going to use it against women in future for real rape charges.

Here is another, even more shocking news, how women use rape for their own benefit and later back off from the complaint only they find it that now after the DNA test such cases may fall against them only. This news was published in Kathmandu Post on June 12, 2012.

An octogenarian of Pathari VDC-8 in Morang, who was kicked out of society on a rape charge four years ago has been rehabilitated in his village after he is proved innocent.

Rupnarayan Ghimire, now 84, was accused of raping speech-impaired Chandra Kumari Bhattarai. After the incident, Bhattarai lodged a complaint against Rupnarayan in the District court on September 6, 2009.

However, based on a report of a DNA test of Rupnarayan and a baby born to Bhattarai, the court ruled that Rupnarayan was innocent.

“Not only God, court also saw the truth. I had been living with mental and physical pain for the past four years. But now I am proved innocent and will live the rest of my life with a sense of independence in the society” said Rupnarayan in a program held to felicitate him at Janata Higher Secondary School in Aaitabare on Saturday.

He was living in a rented room at Pathari ever since he was accused of raping Bhattarai.

Meanwhile, Bhattarai said in a written statement that she lodged the complaint against Rupnarayan under the pressure of her relatives. The relatives, who encourages Bhattarai to charge Rupnarayan, however, fled the village after the courts verdict.

Rupnarayan son, Krishna Prasad has demanded compensation and action against the guilty.

Of course, the news itself is very incomplete in itself and the postcard kind of news. Something that tells me, do not trust news  in Nepal. The main culprit here seems to be the relatives of the Bhattarai, but there is no such mention of the person involved in this case not even their name, even the speech-impaired; the so called rape victim, seem to have involved in the malpractice here, due to some greed factor, which is not clearly mentioned in the news. It seems to me, she have changed the opinion, only when the DNA report came out. Its so obvious that her relatives and she herself was so unaware of the DNA test. What could be worst, that DNA report came in light after four years only.

There is no doubt that, after reading the news, the victim here is the eighty year old man, who not only had to go through the humiliation but also has to leave his own house and society at that tender age and the age of a woman involved here, who could give birth to a child is not even mentioned. Just because she is speech-impaired does not mean that she should not be punished for her involvement in this case. Rape is very sensitive issue but this kind of news really hammers us to think it otherwise.

It sure does not surprise me then, why some lawyers doubt the intention of the rape victims after the rape charges. Statistic reveal that, about seventy percent of rape cases, it happens when the rapist know the victim already and and of that seventy percent the forty percent of the involved are from the close relatives of the victim.

There may be some truth in the logic that it may be sex at first as some lawyers argue in rape cases, and when the situation did not turn out as per her wish or demand then, they say its rape. You know what, the tears shed by women has so much power to melt the heart of man and it works everywhere, even when its the stone hearted men.

But this is where women lose the real case and trust too.  And that never ending sympathy which she never gets tired of seeking, instead of fighting her fight; is what reduce her weight forever.

This kind of news really makes it so hard for any woman, who has to face the rape victim in the court in future, who are the real victims of rape.

-----

Note : First Published on Nepali Advocate on October 6, 2012

Can you change God ?

When I picked up China Harayeko Manchhe by Hari Bansha Acharya, it was just his name on the cover of the book that made me pick up that book. But it turned out to be more than just that big name association. Not much disappointment though, with a big name or he being a new writer. Being a realistic person, all I look for is non-fiction books. Raw or polished writer won't make much difference to me, as flowery words or polished sentence which needs me to hold dictionary in one hand and book in another, is not my kind of book, they are just not for me. I am only interested in real story, how it flows and how it will help me to see the world.

Indeed, more than that, there in this book are so many one lines, I can pick and write an article and then make money out of those lines. My only fear is one day the writer might come asking for the fair share from the earning from my article. What can you expect from the man, who wants to change god !

Here, I am letting my imagination run wild, about his idea of revolution being in need, to replace God, as he ‘acted’ like aristocrat and treating us [human] as a slave. He is in search of a one is young and has clean image. Why ? he is angry with God and wants to do the revolution to replace because He didn't do anything to save the life of his wife when she was dying. One thing we have to appreciate about the writer is, he is very much clear on one thing that he never believed in god but thought him as a reserve power which he called for his help when he was in trouble.

This reminded me of Pastor Cho's understanding on this subject matter, when he had written in his book The Fourth Dimension about the doctor who was atheist only when there was no problem. About that kind of mind set the pastor writes “many people brag about their atheistic views; yet when these same people experience pitch dark night, and encountered the storm tossed waves, their atheism becomes very weak.”

I think he is not the first person who got this idea. Otherwise, why on earth we have 330 million Gods/Goddess ? There are stories in our religious literature, which tells us that there were time, when men wanted to be just like god and sure they did all, what seemed humanly possible to be like God.

Haven't we heard of a story of such and such sage doing all the meditation to get what he wanted ? Can we ever forget the story of Bhashmasur, who meditated for long and then ask for an special power from Shiva. With this power he could touch anyone and then the person would die and immediate after getting this power, he ran towards Shiva to touch him. What is worth paying attention here is that he wanted to kill the power giver first than anyone else.

There is also a tale by B. P. Koirala, about a man who meditated hard to shake the power of kingdom of Indra, the king of God ! What is interesting in this story is that Indra got scared from this sages meditation and sent one of the celestial nymph from his bank of nymphs who are at his service to do such work. Sure enough she did distracted her and fell in love with her, and then they married and settled down. For me here this is more interesting to pay attention, she was sent to distract his mediation as a staff of Indra but she not only fell in love but got married with that sage too. It sure did serve the intention of Indra but her decision to marry that man was not in her task. It was her own decision to remain married to him.  She showed us that she is much more than man can use us purely for their own benefit only.

All this again reminded me of an advertisement which Hari Bansha Acharya had played during the height of Nepal Bandha era. Even a drop of hat used to call Bandha in those days.  

In this advertisement he is seen holding a white rooster’s neck and saying that, “tomorrow there will be Nepal bandha, because this bhale [rooster] crossed my road.” Of course, he is very convincingly funny when he says that line because, he is a much loved comedian, loved by whole country including me; when he performs at his best.

But that crazy sounding line in that adverts and many of his stage shows, which I find time and again coming from him is what makes people laugh all the time. I agree, stupidity, illogical, irrational and insane talk is what makes us laugh; its the same with laughter, always. But, when he said he is angry with god when he lost his wife is what confused me. Was it his regular joke ? I should laugh when he said that God acted like dictator and he needs to be changed and replaced ? or he is dead sure about his wish to change God ?

Forget that whether he can or can not when it comes to changing God at this moment because he never believed the power of God before this wife died.

Although getting angry with god and believing he does not exist, is very personal opinion and this one feelings everyone of us must have felt once in our life. And that frustration is very much understandable. Honestly speaking, I am not the right person to advocate the existence of god and his power. Religion is not my subject and I am not even religious person. But the belief of God is something different. I strongly believe there is serious flaw in thinking, when someone voice it, the position of god is something which should be replaced. As if, he is not God but a mere politician or aristocrat, which needs to be changed as time change !

Its really hard to absorbed the notion that, everyone wants God as per his or her convenient, ready to worship God,  if only he serve them ! I also strongly belief  the view put Forth by pastor Cho in his book the Fourth Dimension about God, “you are the God .... and God wants to manifest himself through you, he is depending upon you. For a vision, for a plan, its not built in external world, but inside you.”

So when you are the God, tell me who you want to change ? What about changing your thinking about the concept of God ?

Me and my books

I love to read books by the writer who have read hundreds of books to write that one book or by the writer who has interacted with thousands of people before writing any book. I am so lazy, but by being choosy like this and reading only selected books saves my times.

But you know what is so interesting, I know nothing about how many thousands of people Jawahar Nehru had interacted with before he wrote that letters to Indira Gandhi, when she was only 10 years old. That book is simply wonderful to train young children to be the leader of a nation ! And then there are some classic children books which are so good for children, only bad news is that I was not lucky to get a chance to read it when I was growing up.

After reading think and grow rich, by Napoleon Hill twice with my complain that never seem to be ending, of the font being too small to focus which gave me headache as I tried to grasped the deep meaning of the book. I liked the book think and grow rich, because the writer had spent twenty five years to do the research for this book on more 25,000 men and women that too back in 1900.

Now, I am back reading again The Fourth Dimension by Dr. Paul Yonggi Cho. This Korean pastor is very famous in South Korea for having a church, which is one of the biggest in the world, that has the capacity to seat 10,000 people at a time. Besides it has 50,000 regular members in his church. Reading the fourth Dimension is more easy to understand than the complexity of think and grow rich. After reading this book I have become a huge fan of Dr Choo even though I am not a christian by religion.

The fourth Dimension is more convincing and easy to understand with simple examples, than the think and grow rich which only talks about successful people. But, you know what I find more interesting in this two books ? How come a very successful religious leader practice the same ‘mind game’, as of a hard core capitalist or a successful leader ? In fact, Think and grow rich talk about more of making leaders, leaders of every field.

There is so much similarities in this two books, yet one talks about religion and another how to make money for prosperous life ! So, this two vast different area practicing in the same kind of mind game, to get what one wants is what I love reading about. I hope to cultivate two absolutely different sides of life inside me once I absorb both books meaning.

It seems that I have the habit of reading two contradicting subject of book and finding the core similarity in it. Thought, faith, desire, persistence, single minded determination, self discipline, power of spoken words, power of subconscious mind, sixth sense and how all this impact in one's lifetime achievement to get what one want and how fear, greed, guilt, inferiority complex pulls one down in life and how to escape from those flaws are the main thing these books talk about. Yes, all in a whole different line.

Earlier than this I was so hooked on reading Rich dad poor dad by Robert Kiyosaki. This is the first hand testimony of how ones own thought shapes one’s whole life and why one needs to remain persistent and positive and see big picture, despite situation not being favourable at the moment, to achieve the desired in life. The writer had told the real story of his two dads which he grew up watching very closely, which went exactly as per their thought. Then again, after some months I got a chance to read Daring to live on the Edge by  Loren Cunningham. I am deeply inspired by both of this book.

Faith is the common word in this two books, which strikes out obviously, but, I had failed to understand it until, I read think and grow rich. If Cunningham, the founder of YWAM has total faith in God to build his missionary work known around the world within short span of life, then the faith this rich dad had in his thought, plan and long term vision is what shaped his life despite his lack of education. On the other hand Robert Kiyosaki’s own father being so educated with Ph.D degree back in 1950 time, holding high rank job in Government, yet how his own thought changed the whole course of life; which caused him to die with bills to be paid while the least educated one build an empire to handover to his children.

See, I told you I am so lazy and choosy so I get books accordingly also. Reading the book What is in Ved by Swami & Dr. Prapannacharya is the best book I have ever read in Nepali. Good for me, he had gone through hundreds of books which I would have never ever read otherwise, buts that's what genius do, give their best when they do their work. Diamond SJB Rana's Seto Bagh is the book which is my favorite in Nepali. My first affair with book started with this book when I was only thirteen years old. He took 25 years to write this book ? As a writer I know how it pains to keep one topic in head even for couple of weeks and he waited 25 years. Then why one even wonder, that this is his masterpiece and no other book of his is as good as this one. And recently I read China Harayeko Manche by Hari Bansha Acharya. I bet he being a famous comedian who had done hundreds of stage shows not only here but in abroad too had interacted with tens of thousands people before he wrote that one book.

But in general I avoid reading books written by Nepali, because they only love to sale tears, fears, problems, depression, frustration, defeat and hopelessness.  

When I was around sixteen, I had committed myself not to read such book after reading hundreds of cheap novels at that tender age and spoiling my ‘thinking pattern’.  It was then I had to make a decision for me that, I will not feed such negativity or crap stuff in my brain. I have learned then that I can make the decision what to feed in my brain and what  not for my own good.

I guess I have fully grown then, at least in my own area of my life !