Utility Sex

When I heard this two words, coming together for the first time, my reaction to this was, I could not help, but chuckle up. I do remember asking, “what is utility sex ?”, to my boyfriend then. He replied, “...in this process people have sex to make only babies.” If you are really very curious about utility sex, and does it really exist ? I would like to suggest you to read, Sumnima, a novel by B. P. Koirala. This is one of the most talked about novel by the writer, who, in fact was well respected politician. But the incident, which happened in India, gave more food, to my brain for thinking about its end consequences.

Two men, Rajan and Harish became fast friend after their casual meeting. They felt comfortable sharing everything with each other. One day, Harish confinded his biggest problem with Rajan, he could not be a father. In a conservative society like India, infertility is mistakenly also taken as impotent, so the men with this prblem has to go through, the equally double burden, with a serious mental pressure, to deal with this issue; due to the narrow thinking, as well as lack of education in the society.

Very innocently, Ranan suggested, “....why not you choose a man, to whom you can trust, to be the father. I have seen many people doing this, as the couple keep quite in this matter so, no one will know about this.” At first, Harish did not like the idea, but when his eyes fell on Rajan, he changed his mind. He was better looking than him, younger than him and at the same time, he could trust him also. What more, he was the father of three children too, so he instantly offered him to do the job. This offer left Rajan dumbfounded.

Rajan, like Harish, was a small time worker, who lived on daily wage basis, if only; the work is available. Harish offered Rajan a stay over place, at his home at very cheap rate, even to their standard, which he could not say no, as the money was always tight. Harish talked about the arrangement, to his current wife. His first wife had left him, because he was very dispointed about not being able to be a father of a child; so he was abusive and always blaming her for not having children. Harish was very obsessed with having his own children, and she could not give him that. After the separation, his first wife became a mother of three.

Harish wife was not willing to be part of all this compromise, but could not muster a single word of disapproval, to his very dominant husband. Besides she was much younger than him too, at the same time, she to [secretly] wanted a child of her own.

Nobody knows, why some thing works, and why some thing does not, just like Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruz, when they were married, they were a childless couple. They were married for 10 years. They even have adopted two children and raised together. But when they separated and married after that, both of them became the proud parents of their own child.

Back to our own story, these four people were living in one room for all purpose, home of Harish. About six month back Rajans’ 10 years old boy had come to stay with him. When a whole year went by without any result, Rajan announced, he is gong back to his village, Harish was angry with him, and with himself and then with his wife too, for there being no child yet. Even after a years of painful experience of his life. He had let his wife share with one more guy, with only one hope, that one day he will be the father of his own child. But now Rajan was leaving home, to him what he needed seemed less important to him and he choose to walk out of all the mess.

Harish felt cheated, fooled and used for his flaw, he blamed Rajan and his wife also that they were intentionally prolonging the whole process... so that they could only enjoy sex and was not serious about making baby.

The day before Rajan was to leave for his village, Harish killed his friends 10 year old boy. and then ran. When police caught him after two months, all the truth about the killing came to light. He wanted to teach his friend, how painful it is, to cry for your own child.

Although, this [crime] story has very sad and tragic ending. Harish, gives us the very important message with his very own traditional and conservative mind set which lacks proper education; one crucial truth about sex. Sex is very intimate and private affair, which speaks a strong language of love. Otherwise use of it, always end up in downwards derail path. Its very hard to witness; anything that is called utility sex and remain sane at the same time, even though, the whole flaw, lies within.

School Drop Outs’ Angle

If you don’t do good in college, you won’t do any better in life also. This line just hit me as my next blog was almost ready in my head. I am a huge fan of Madhur Bhandarker’s movie. All his movie are worth watching again and again and again and again.... as one of his character in the Page 3, said, “its not important that you tell a story, how you tell it is more important”, and I think he is good at telling the story.

Madhur Bhandarker’s way of portraying women in his movie is, slowing getting me into thinking; but very slowly. Not because he is fast but because I am slow to get it. His first movie Page 3, gave him rave reviews from critics in India for which he even won a national award. This award has got the reputation of being as worthy as Oscar in India. This movie tells a story of a page 3 society from a gossip journalist’s point of view.

But it was his other movie, Fashion, which gave lead character, Priyanka Chopera, her first national award also, for her role in the movie. for me the real story is how men treats woman as mere toy and how woman get carried away with it, not even realizing that it all has his interest in it, to play with you as easily available for his ride. but it is to understand in time can he do it if we [women] let him keep ding this and be a toy of his hand ?

Really ? who holds that power and how long ?

At the end of the movie, how the character played by Priyanka pulls and gather herself, coming out strong and standing tall is so empowering especially when with all the hardship she had been in the short but ambitious of her life as a path to super model. Its a really inspiring to all woman's. Personally, for me its total wastage of time to blaming them and ruining our life; instead we should learn and move on in our life. Not melt down in pressure and this is the best answer to men.

Not a secret now, Fashion is another movie, I keep watching repeatedly, and the details Madhur had paid, while making this movie makes it easy for me to watch it without even getting bored.

Needless to tell you, its clear that I am a huge fan of Madhur Bhandarker’s art of story telling and he seemed to have mastered in the women in lead role of his movie. Did I said, Madhur’s angel ? I became even more of his fan when he admitted in a recent interaction with his grates hater on the small screen that, “ I myself is 6th grade fail person and never ever seen the face of college in my entire life. All I have acquired in my life is self teaching and reading many books. People have come to me and personally praised for my work on ‘Corporate’, I was making a movie which was a way above my reach, college education and career in corporate world.

Oh ! yes you should see the movie ‘Corporate’ again how a beautiful and again ambitious woman, who is well educated and climbed her corporate ladder, ends up in the jail and how she got toyed out by the male dominated world of corporate.

At this moment, I remember one question which I had asked with a wife of my childhood friend in recent encounter, because the guy now has a body of a casino bouncer. She is of small stature and he looks bullying in every angel. “Is he dominating ?” I asked her, and then she replied matter of fact way, “…...yes, of course, but with my permission.” the man wore a grin on his face after hearing it.

Reality show judge

As the reality show is getting its popularity around the continent, two British reality show judges, music mugal Simon Cowel & world famous restaurateur Chef Gordon Ramsay, with their shows like American Idol ( now on X-Factor ) and Hell’s Kitchen, became household name, around the world. As the shows became more famous, viewers started love to hate them for their brutally honest remarks. No wonder, any master chef is my favourite show, but Master Chef USA - 2011 have just begun and chef Ramsay Gordon’s fierce comments is going to chill your bone and thrill your imagination at the same time. But I love both of them.

Even the most confidant participant of the contest, will change their color terribly, once he or she hears their remarks.

Its bit understandable that Chef Ramsay is honest, I mean brutally honest. What makes me wonder is, why he is potty mouthed too and now a days the respective channels, has to bip those words, from the world viewers. I think, this is what scares the contestants most.

Both are equally and brutal honest. Good thing for Simon that he is not potty mouthed like Chef Ramsay. People around the world loved to hate them.

Chef Ramsay does not blink his eyes to pass the comments like this "This looks like a baby vomit." or this looks like the baby shit to me." for the food which was placed in front of him by the contestants and at time does not hesitates to show on the camera to spit what he just put in his mouth.

But the core point is that, brutally honest opinion put those contestant on the world map, unlike the sweet comments passed by their counter parts, which saved the contestant from the discomfort zone in front of the world viewers, but surviving that comments proved to be the win or lose factor for the participants of the shows. It seems that, their brutally honest comments has a lot more power to one win or loose game.

Simon Cowel can predict, whose album will sell and whose not; a lot earlier, than the others could tell, and then he could get them sign on multimillion dollar deal with his record company. Just like that Chef Ramsay, can offer job, to the winners of the show, in his world renowned restaurants. The safe side judges, can not provide any exposer or hlep them rebuild thier career after the show, that's the reason they are soft on those who are not good in their respective work, but can offer soft console.

Their opinion, is not just a layman’s opinion, but; they have been speaking, from their own experience in their respective fields and that's what gave them the confidence to speak their mind, which scared the new comers and we the audience.

Good side of these two are; hard on pretentious and over confident contenstants and soft of those, who has the talent but not the required confidence. These two bring out best in all of them.

Recently, Chef Ramsay asked a contestant, at his new masterchef USA - 2011, “where were you, in all these 10 years ? this show needs a participants like you.”

I Remember Simon Cowel, saying one of his participants [teary] on the X-factor show, “may be, you need this platform to show your talent, but more than that, this show needs you.”